The Way Home
by ShadedJade
Summary: Emma gave birth to triplets, though it's Henry who found her in Boston. He needs her to break the curse but Ava & Nicholas want to find their father, Killian Jones. Emma is presented with the biggest challenge of her life. AU. Captain Swan Lieutenant Duckling. Snowing. Inspired by ep 1x09 "True North" & poem "Finding Home" by Tim Cook. Will disregard season 4 & beyond.
1. Three Hearts

**Author's Notes:** Minimal character changes were made to Henry, Ava, and Nicholas to fit this story but I was surprised how little I actually needed to adjust. During a re-watch, I couldn't get out of my head how much Ava and Nicholas looked/acted like Captain Swan kids and thus this story was born. I'm excited to share it with you.

* * *

 **~ Prologue ~**

Three hearts; seventeen-year-old Emma Swan hadn't heard anything quite so terrifying.

She used to sit in her jail cell and stare at the little stick, but it was just a piece of plastic stating a fact. Hearing "pregnant" and "baby" directed at her didn't give the stick new power or importance. Emma didn't know what to do with words she didn't fully understand.

Check-ups were weird. She sat in a boring room while a man with a gruff voice asked her to lay on what Emma couldn't determine to be either table or bed. She was there several times, but she'd never forget the first. Rhythmic beating in her ears rushed air into her lungs, as the man told her there were three hearts inside her abdomen. It wasn't a baby with three hearts, as she'd initially assumed, but three babies. Three individual lives grew inside her, getting bigger every day for nine months.

Emma moved her left ankle, feeling the bite of its metal cuff. Looking over her large stomach, to where her legs were propped up for the big moment, Emma wondered how they expected her to run away. The room was cold and far too white. Memory of three hearts kept her mind on track.

There was pressure on her back and she couldn't move. Strangers in medical clothes rushed around her and machines beeped in tune to the ticking of time. The wall clock showed it was nearly eight. Her birthday was almost over and three others were about to begin.

She was eighteen.

Emma didn't feel older yet; maybe it was buried under contractions and fear. While she'd learned not to expect any celebration of her birthday, neither had she thought it would become the worse day of her life.

The doctor's smile was genuine. He encouraged her and praised whatever Emma was doing; she didn't know. Her purpose in the sterile-stinking room was to push or breathe when they told her to.

Her body was at war with itself. Muscles below her ribs wanted the babies out but her heart's strength tried to keep them safe inside. Emma's enormous stomach was a cocoon allowing the babies to be hers; once she pushed, the harsh world beyond would take them away. One baby needed things Emma couldn't give, but three robbed her of any chance to try. They had a future outside the room. Emma couldn't be a part of it; she couldn't be a mother.

The babies deserved so much and she had too little to give.

Pushing was like emotional pain turning physical, as it ripped through her with merciless force. It was the most exhausting thing Emma had ever done - and she'd run across a city once when she was ten.

'It's a girl, Emma!'

Her body fought everything, even itself, but her daughter's cry snapped the strings of will holding Emma together. Trapping tears behind eyelids, she released a shaky breath. How was she sweating in a room so cold? It was distracting enough that the lights kept flickering. The baby's cry continued in the background as if the little girl mourned her break from the cocoon of her mother's warmth and safety.

Emma's hands gripped handles on either side of her narrow bed - how much tighter until the plastic breaks too?

She had to push out two more babies and watch as a stranger took them away forever. Did they know what was coming; was her daughter crying because she'd figured it out? Emma dug for the strength to keep going but found none of it inside her. She couldn't give them away and she couldn't keep them. Her heart and mind were split in the middle; Emma wondered how she was even still alive.

She couldn't see her daughter. As minutes ticked by, the baby's cries elevated the pace of the room. Emma was told to push again and she had to force it.

Why was the room getting colder?

'A boy!'

Why was the doctor was trying to make things harder? Emma didn't want to know she had a daughter and son. Their cries flooded her ears, so close yet she couldn't reach to soothe them. She wanted to hold her babies and never let go. Emma reminded herself of all the things that would go wrong if she did. Bad scenarios of being homeless, hungry, and out in the cold were her only comfort; nightmares of her memories and tainted imagination kept the babies at a safe distance.

The third baby took longer and doubled the agony tearing through her. Her body realised the consequences of emptying the cocoon. Emma screamed until her throat stung and she could no longer tell the difference between sweat or tears. The doctor announced she had a second son, and the room stilled. It was quiet and calm while a storm thrashed inside her.

There was no third cry.

Emma lifted her chin as high as she could, trying to see what was going on. Their backs were turned and the air's chill bit her skin. She gasped when the doctor turned around with a wriggling bundle in his arms. He was suddenly beside her; the baby was right there. She could lift her arm and touch him. Wiping a hand across her eyes to defog her vision, Emma caught sight of the bluest blue she'd ever seen.

Her baby had his father's eyes.

'Emma?'

She turned her head away, focusing on a spot of white wall across the room.

'Emma, just so you know, you _can_ change your mind.'

She whimpered and gripped sides of the bed with her hands. The tiny cry behind her was a calling. Her body, sore and exhausted as it was, turned automatically towards the sound. The fight inside her was too complex. She glared at the doctor so he wouldn't think she'd changed her mind. Slowly, her eyes fell to the bundle.

A little hand waved in the air as if searching - did he know she was there?

Emma sniffed the cocktail of chemicals and sweat, and inched her hand closer to the baby. His fingers were so tiny. He vocalised a precious sound that shattered her trance.

She jerked her hand back. Emma broke into sobs and moved away again, shaking her head until sure the baby was out of reach. The doctor passed round the bed to carry her son away. Caught up in the moment, she'd missed the other two being taken from the room.

They were gone.

She was alone and had no continued purpose in the cold room. A violent sob tore through her chest and throat, filling every part of her that wasn't already hurting. Emma stared at the blurry ceiling and didn't know how to keep herself from breaking.

Her daughter and two sons were gone.

She had to give them their best chance, even if it destroyed her in the process. For months there were three tiny hearts inside her – their kicks, growth, aches and hormones became a part of her. What was she now without them? They formed within her and created a new Emma, but what happened next?

She didn't know this new Emma yet somehow she'd become her.

There was nothing left now. Nothing, apart from the only thing she could seek relief in: Emma would never have to explain to Killian Jones that she'd had their babies taken away.

* * *

 **~ Chapter One: Three Hearts ~**

The boy had green eyes. When Henry showed up on Emma's doorstep to announce he was her son, his eyes were her first clue. He was her second child, whisked away before she'd processed that she'd given birth to a baby boy.

Had it really been ten years since the worse day of her life?

Emma supposed she handled the situation rather well. Sure, she was hiding in the bathroom feeling about to throw up, but how was one supposed to react? Her son was in the kitchen stealing her orange juice, and she was fine. She could get through this.

'You know, we should probably get going,' Henry said.

Emma barely set two feet out the bathroom when his attention was back on her. That was okay, she reminded herself. She gave birth to three babies and put them up for adoption. She survived that, so she could get through anything.

She looked at the boy's eyes and doubts clouded in.

Henry. She reminded herself this kid had a name. He wanted her to come home with him - which was as far as Emma could let things go.

'Okay, kid, I'm calling the cops.' Emma reached for the phone.

'And I'll tell them you kidnapped me,' Henry replied.

Emma put the phone down and looked at him. Oh, he was good. Not impressive, but good. She wished she could say she was better, but the kid won. It didn't even feel like a battle; one moment she had the phone and intention to call the police, then next she'd gathered her coat and was locking the apartment door behind them.

'Nice car.'

Emma ignored the kid and slipped into her yellow bug. He was too happy beside her and it made everything uncomfortable. Well, more than it already was.

Starting the engine and driving them out of Boston, Emma wondered if she'd be lucky enough to drive the four hours to Maine without any conversation.

'I'm hungry. Can we stop somewhere?'

If the first ten minutes was much to go by, Emma's wish for a silent drive was a waste of optimism.

'This is not a road trip; we're not stopping for snacks.'

'Why not?'

Emma gripped the steering wheel and willed herself to keep it together.

He probably had questions or was too curious for his own good. All she had to do was remain distant and boring, then he'd fade back into memories and out of the present. Emma would drop him back home with his real parents, who probably had a lovely house and big backyard, and be on her way. He was ten; kids got bored easily, right?

'Quit complaining, kid. Remember, I could've put your butt on a bus; I still could.' Emma was glad to be the one with the superpower because that was a blatant lie. Hopefully, it'd deter his interest.

She wasn't his mother, just the one who brought him into the world.

'You know, I have a name? It's _Henry.'_

Her plan wasn't working.

Emma turned onto the highway and kept her eyes focused ahead. Except for the few seconds she was able to glance at the object clutched on his lap. A book of fairytales. That conversation distracted him but further lessened Emma's confidence. He believed the stories were real and whatever problems he had she was going to fix them.

She exhaled and leaned back slightly. The kid – Henry – turned to stare out the window. It was dark so there wasn't much to see, but Emma was glad not be the focus of his attention.

It would be impossible to have never thought about her three babies in the ten years since giving birth. She'd tried not to, but every once in a while she'd see a little boy or girl in the street and wonder. The blue eyes of her second son still haunted her dreams sometimes.

Seeing Henry had awoken curiosities she'd never allowed before. He had her eyes and his brown hair wasn't as dark as Killian's. The triplets probably weren't identical. Emma had no idea, as she never got to see all her babies. What did they look like? Did they know each other - why did Henry come alone? Emma often worried they'd be split up; three kids were a lot for anyone to handle at once. It seemed the truth sat beside her.

An image of her baby with blue eyes came to mind - this time, she was unable to shake it.

'So, uh...You have a brother or sister?' Emma hoped she wouldn't regret starting a conversation when he'd finally gone quiet.

'Nope.' Henry turned to her, eyebrows raised. 'Do I?'

There was the regret. How could she answer? No, and let it be a lie. Or yes, and mess with his life more than she already was. Lying would be best, but Emma caught a glimpse of his eyes and hesitated. He'd found her. If Henry suspected he wasn't her only child then he won't believe anything else she said.

Liars weren't boring.

'You tell me.' Emma shrugged, pretending to misunderstand his question. 'How did you find me?'

'A website. It was pretty easy.' He also shrugged.

'Great,' Emma muttered. 'Why now?'

'Because today is your 28th Birthday, right?'

'Yeah.' She frowned. 'So? It's your birthday too.'

'So, it's 28 years since the curse was cast.' Henry held tighter to his book. 'That's when the saviour's supposed to come home and save everyone from the Evil Queen.'

'And you think I'm the saviour?' Emma tried to withhold a scoff.

'No, I _know_ you are.'

The kid's determination didn't waver. When they finally drove through Storybrooke, Henry tried again to convince her the fairytales were real. It was a whirlwind of a night: meeting Regina; nearly running over a wolf, crashing the car enough to knock her out; then waking to find herself in a cell the next morning.

The irony wasn't lost on Emma.

Leroy, Marco, Sheriff Graham, Regina, Mary Margaret – the morning was a rush of people and places. Henry had a habit of running off, and she solved the mystery of how he'd found her.

By afternoon, between finding Henry and questioning his mother's cold social skills, Emma was emotionally drained.

She tightened hold on the steering wheel of her car, sitting with the engine off. She'd parked away from busier parts of the town and tried to convince herself to drive out of Storybrooke. Henry's pleas for her to stay just one week, and Regina's increasing dramatics, raised an unsettling feeling in her stomach.

Her instincts said if she left now, she'd only turn around to come back. Emma knew something wasn't right; something was...off.

'All right, Corey, if there's ever a time to get wise...' Emma dialled the first number listed in her phone.

'Yo?' Hearing her foster brother's voice, she paused to relish the sound; it was months since his last visit. 'Emma?'

'Corey, hey!' She exhaled. 'You would not believe the day I'm having.'

'Yeah? I doubt that.' Corey sounded amused. 'You could tell me there are bears on the moon and I'd believe you. So, what's up?'

Emma smiled. He was always ready to help or listen when needed. He hadn't shown up for her birthday but it was okay; that was Corey. He cared about her in his own way.

'I need you to tell me what to do.' Emma leaned into the car seat and ducked her head.

'No one tells Emma Swan what to do.'

'Corey, seriously.' She shook her head. 'Last night, a kid showed up on my doorstep and said he was my _son._ A ten-year-old boy with brown hair and green eyes.'

There was silence on the other end.

Corey took his time to grasp important or shocking situations. He didn't hang up or throw anything, just fell into a state of mental processing. Or he'd gotten better at disguising background noises when on the phone with her.

'Corey?'

'What do you need me to do?' he asked. 'And only the one kid - not the other two?'

'I don't think he knows about them. Henry. His _name_ is Henry.' Emma said it aloud for the first time. He was a real person; a little boy with a name. All things that made the situation more difficult than it was.

'Em, what do you need from me? Where are you?'

'Maine,' Emma said. 'I need you to tell me what to do. His mother is kind of a hard-ass. He asked me to stay a week to...The kid's got problems. He believes fairytales are real and this whole town's been cursed by the Evil Queen.'

'You believed in fairytales,' Corey said. 'All those stories about you and Jones becoming pirates and slaying dragons. Every kid believes in that crap, right?'

'What if he's not happy?' Emma tried another tactic.

She didn't remember those stories with Killian, but supposed maybe their son...No, she couldn't call him that.

'Then stay a week.'

'Really, just like that?' Emma was angry. She realised she did want Corey to argue and convince her to leave town then never turn back.

'Em, the fact you're calling me means you want to run.' He sighed. 'But you don't want to feel guilty about it. And we both know you will, unless you make sure Henry's okay.'

'I need you to do something for me,' Emma decided. 'I need to know they're okay – all three of them.'

'That I can do.'

Emma hung up and stared at her phone, remembering the rhythmic heartbeats she'd been so terrified of. It started as tripled sound, then three cries, and now there were children with names and personalities; the triplets had never been so real.

Emma could picture the tiny bundle of blankets placed within her reach. The boy with blue eyes. Meeting Henry and speaking to him, how could she not think of his brother and sister as well? If Henry wasn't happy - if maybe he needed something more from her than just answers, then Emma had to do the same for the others. She owed it to them, herself, and even to Killian.

Emma brought three babies into the world and gave them away so they could have their best chance.

She had to make sure they got it.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** Link to the video for this story can be found in my profile. I hope you enjoyed this first chapter!


	2. The Truth

_I decided to put this chapter up early - enjoy!_

* * *

 **~ The Truth ~**

'If someone threatens you while offering a basket of fruit, is it still safe to eat the fruit?' Emma asked over the phone, pacing in her room at Granny's. Frilly curtains poorly blocked morning sunlight, which Emma kept her back to.

'Depends. What fruit?' Corey yawned through the sound of him shuffling papers.

'Really?' Emma scoffed. 'Apples. Red ones.'

'Huh. Probably unsafe,' he said. 'Henry says the woman is the Evil Queen, then she threatens you over a basket of red apples? I wouldn't risk it.'

'Are you serious?' Emma frowned, dropping to sit on the bed's edge.

She couldn't always tell if her foster brother was messing with her or not. Frustratingly, her lie detection didn't work over the phone.

'I make deliberate efforts to never be serious,' Corey joked, moving papers and sipping his coffee. 'I find it makes life boring.'

'Right.' Emma laughed. 'With that outlook on life, I sometimes wonder how you catch anyone who skips bail.'

'The thrill of the chase! Don't tell me you don't feel it?'

Emma rolled her eyes and snatched the newspaper she'd discarded earlier. Her destruction of a historic sign was apparently a big deal in such a small town.

'Okay.' Corey exhaled, causing Emma to tense. Despite his remarks, he could be very serious and it always unnerved her. 'You ready?'

'Just hurry up before I change my mind,' she grumbled.

'All your kids are in Storybrooke.'

'What?' Emma stood abruptly. 'How? Regina didn't adopt all three and this...This place is in the middle of _nowhere!_ It's not on any map.'

'Hey, I don't create the facts just find them,' Corey said. 'Anyway, your daughter and other son are still together. They were adopted by Dory and Michael Tillman when they were two. Their names are Ava and Nicholas.'

Emma collapsed onto the bed, surprised she didn't sink through to the floor with her emotional heaviness. The weight of knowing her three babies were in town and had names wasn't something she was ready to comprehend.

'The thing is, Emma...' Corey hesitated. 'Dory and Michael, they're dead. She died when the kids were five, and Michael three years ago. That's what I got from Storybrooke; no one exists outside it. You and the kids, sure - and Dory was born in Tallahassee, but then... _Nothing._ It's like everything else in Storybrooke just disappeared.'

'Two kids don't just disappear, Corey!' Dread crept up her spine. 'I need to find them. Where did they live?'

'I'll text you the address, but as far as I can see they weren't picked up by social services. No one I spoke to even remembered Dory or Michael dying. I'll keep digging.'

'Thanks.' Emma hung up.

There was a framed picture of a sailing ship across the room. She missed the ocean breeze in her hair and freedom of the open sea. It filled her thoughts on the drive the previous afternoon and night. She'd packed for her stay in Storybrooke, denying that she'd gathered from her Boston apartment more than enough for just one week.

Emma shook the image of her baby boy's blue eyes, and headed downstairs for some much-needed coffee. Having met Ruby previously, she offered the woman a smile and sat at the counter to re-read her newspaper.

The hot cocoa with cinnamon gave her pause. Learning it wasn't from the local sheriff with a charming smile, Emma focused on the son she knew the whereabouts of.

'I like cinnamon too,' he said simply, with a smile on his young face.

Emma forced herself not to internally debate if there were reflections of her smile or Killian's. Or both. Henry showed quite a mix in his appearance and she couldn't help being curious. Each new thing she learned about him was both intriguing and painful.

'Don't you have school?' she tried instead. He was dressed in a school uniform, but Emma hadn't checked the time.

Henry had skipped school the day before.

'Duh, I'm ten. Walk me.'

Killian would love this little boy. The fact added to her aching chest as Emma followed Henry to school. He'd gone from believing in fairytales to coming up with "Operation Cobra". She played along, less put off by it after a restless night of analysing the whole situation. Henry was adamant about those fairytales - Emma decided to use them as a way to learn about her son.

The pasts being a haze to people of the town caught her attention the most; no one clearly remembered what happened to the Tillmans either. Emma pocketed pages of the book Henry gave her, refusing to look closer at the blanket with her name on it.

During a pause, she took a chance.

'So...do you know any classmates with the last name _Tillman_?' Emma bit her lip and avoided eye contact, looking ahead to the school building across the street.

'Sure.' Henry frowned. 'Ava and Nicholas. They're in my class. Why?'

'No reason,' Emma lied.

She couldn't tell him.

It wasn't right; it'd mess everything up. The pesky optimism she tried to bury surfaced; Henry shared a classroom with his brother and sister. Did he really not know? He seemed like a bright kid and had managed to track her down, yet his own siblings could be as close as one desk over and he hadn't realised? Wasn't there a strong enough resemblance to each other?

So many questions buzzed through her mind and she almost missed Henry waving goodbye, then Mary Margaret's approach.

Henry believed his teacher was her mother. Emma looked Mary Margaret over again, but sighed and reminded herself it was crazy talk; they were the same age.

'Can I ask you something?' Emma glanced beyond Mary Margaret's shoulder to the school.

How could Henry know if she herself couldn't spot her own kids in the crowd? What did they even look like? All she knew was her second son had blue eyes - determining eye colour from a distance was impossible with kids running all over the place.

'Of course.' Mary Margaret nodded.

'You have a boy and girl in your class - Nicholas and Ava Tillman?'

'Yes...' She tilted her head at Emma. 'The twins. Why?'

'I...' Emma hesitated.

Should she tell?

Revealing information like that to any stranger wasn't something she was comfortable with on principal, but she needed to make sure her babies were okay. Emma had a gut feeling that Mary Margaret was okay. Regina made it no secret she wasn't friends with her.

'Henry...' Emma met Mary Margaret's eyes, momentarily surprised they were the same as her own. Henry's stories were getting in her head. 'I gave birth to triplets.'

'Oh my.' Mary Margaret gasped. 'And you think Ava and Nicholas are...? Wow. That actually makes sense.'

'It does?' Emma frowned.

'I often wondered - I mean, they're the same age and all adopted. They look similar.' She studied Emma. 'I take it Henry doesn't know?'

'No. I don't think so.' She exhaled, tucking a blonde strand from her face. 'I don't know if I should tell him...'

'He has the right to know he has a brother and sister,' Mary Margaret said. 'I gave him that book a month ago when he found out he was adopted. I think, deep down, he always knew. Most children do.'

'He didn't take it well?' Emma asked. Maybe it's why Henry was hostile towards his mother.

Although, with Regina's threats and cold attitude, it was still debatable.

'His loneliness got worse.' Mary Margaret looked down. 'Now you're here and he's smiling again. That's wonderful. I think, knowing where you come from is a very important thing. I believe you should tell him. Knowing he has a brother and sister would mean the world to Henry. But it's really not my place to say.'

'Right.' Emma glanced back to the school, unable to meet the other woman's eyes. 'Thanks. Just...Don't tell anyone, okay?'

'Your secret is safe with me.' Mary Margaret smiled. 'Good luck.'

Exchanging farewells, Emma considered the other woman's words. She'd forgotten to ask about Henry's therapist but there was time for that later.

Mary Margaret was right; keeping the secret from Henry would repeat Emma's own life cycle of never knowing where she came from. He'd found her, but what about the others? Ava and Nicholas didn't know her and the triplets didn't know each other the way they were supposed to. Did they feel as lonely as Henry?

Did they wonder where she was and why she gave them away, as Emma does about her own parents?

She had to find out so she could put everything to rest and move on with her life. Every moment she spent in Storybrooke came with the risk of reaching a point where she won't be capable of getting into her car and leaving.

 **~ T ~**

After Emma's first day in Storybrooke, she learned "eventful" was normal for the small town.

Either that or she was the cursed one. Regina didn't kept pushing - Emma accepted she'd be butting heads with the woman her entire stay.

She'd exchanged notes over the phone with Corey, then headed to the house Ava and Nicholas had lived in. "Had" being the word; it was obviously uninhabited.

Her next stop was to see Archie Hopper about Henry's therapy files, which backfired when Graham arrested her. Regina was officially getting on her nerves. Emma didn't hesitate to take a chainsaw to the Mayor's tree after Mary Margaret bailed her out. It probably wasn't her smartest course of action, but it was the most satisfying.

Regina had to know who she was dealing with.

Emma ignored Regina's summons to meet with her that afternoon. She didn't even care how the Mayor managed to get her phone number. Emma didn't have the time or patience to deal with that woman. She had three kids to check on – Henry was troubled, but Emma didn't know anything about the other two's situation.

She packed her things in Granny's, since she was no longer allowed to stay there, and unceremoniously tossed it into the back seat of her car. Growling, Emma slammed the car door - ignoring a power-line sparking overhead. It happened when she arrived in Storybrooke as well.

Emma clutched an envelope of money and headed to Mary Margaret's apartment. She hoped to learn more about Ava and Nicholas. She paced the hallway twice, then knocked loudly on the door.

'Oh.' Mary Margaret smiled, opening the door wide.

'Hey,' Emma said. 'Just wanted to say thank you and um, pay you back the bail money.' She held out the envelope, which Mary Margaret accepted with a nod.

'You look like you need to talk.'

'Maybe.' Emma sighed, remaining firm in the hallway. 'But I can't. I need to...Do you know anything about them? I mean, where they live? I checked their last listed address but it doesn't look like anyone's lived there for a while.'

'Oh.' Mary Margaret tilted her head. 'Sorry, no. That's strange.'

'Seems to the motto of this town,' Emma muttered. 'What...Do they look like?'

Mary Margaret's expression softened in such a sad way it made Emma uncomfortable. She offered her to come in, but Emma refused. She was too amped up to sit and talk properly. It was also a new concept, to have someone to talk to in the way Mary Margaret offered.

'Well, Ava is tall for her age. Hair, like yours. Green eyes too.' Her words made Emma tear up, though she crossed arms tightly to keep herself together. 'Nicholas has blue eyes and black hair. Like Henry, they're both bright students and very creative. Ava is more outspoken while Nicholas keeps to himself.'

Emma tried to picture them in her mind. All she could see was a nearly-faded memory of herself and Killian when they'd been nine, sitting in a field of flowers at night. It confused her, as if the scene was missing something.

Her memories of Killian were always vague and inconsistent.

Their daughter looked like her and their son resembled Killian, yet Henry was a blend of the two. Emma wanted to see the three of them together. Her three babies, each so different yet the same. Ava and Nicholas had each other, but Henry was alone. They were triplets; the whole situation felt wrong.

'Emma?'

'Sorry, um...' She shook her head.

Emma should leave Storybrooke. She was making things harder for Henry with the battle against Regina, but how could she leave the other two? Giving them up for adoption was a unified thing; she gave them away together, for their best chance. How did she handle a situation where staying might be good for two and damaging for the other? Considering each child individually made everything harder, but Emma knew there was a way she might be able to help Henry.

To hell with Regina; after the recent stunts she'd pulled, Emma questioned what was more important to the woman.

'I have to go,' Emma said to Mary Margaret, rushing from the hallway and down stairs.

She crossed the street and was startled to nearly walk into the boy himself.

'There you are!' Henry smiled, exhaling with dramatic relief. 'I thought she got to you.'

'Oh she got to me all right,' Emma grumbled. 'Henry, I need to talk to you.' She nudged his shoulder, gesturing to a bench for them to sit. The kid didn't budge.

'Do you think I'm crazy?' Henry fixed her with tearful eyes. 'My mum said you told her I was.'

'I think the curse is crazy,' Emma replied. 'Your mother is lying.'

'She does that a lot.' Henry looked down and moved to join her on the bench.

She shared his sadness and loneliness. It wasn't how things were supposed to go. He was meant to be adopted into a loving home where he'd be safe and happy. They all were.

'Henry, listen to me.' Emma pat his shoulder. He titled his head to glance sideways at her, head still ducked. 'I stayed here for one simple reason – you. I wanted to get to know you. Yes, I think the curse is crazy but what do I know? There are a lot of crazy things in this world. Maybe it is true.'

Henry lifted his chin and offered her a smile.

'But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about.' Emma inhaled a deep, bracing breath.

This could go horribly wrong, but she had to tell him. It pained her too much to see his loneliness, knowing her children were split up. Regina probably knew, based on things she'd said on the phone earlier. Not outright indications, but Emma was used to reading between the lines.

'What is it?' Henry asked, shifting on the bench.

'I don't know if I should be telling you this. It's going to mess a _lot_ of things up, but Henry...You have the right to know where you came from.' Emma nodded. 'I didn't just have you. I gave birth to triplets; you were one of them.'

'What?' His eyes were wide and mouth agape. 'I...I have brothers or sisters? I'm a _triplet?'_

'Yes. You have a brother and sister.'

'Ava and Nicholas!' Henry jumped to his feet. 'That's why you were asking about them! They're my...Family?'

Emma hadn't counted on him putting it together right away and winced at the ramifications it could have. Hope shining within his shock gave confidence that she'd made the right choice to tell him.

'I tried to find them, to check up on them too,' Emma revealed, 'but their house is empty. Do you know where they might be living? And who with?'

'No.' Henry shook his head. 'But this is...I have a _brother_ and a _sister!_ Wow! We're gonna find them and tell them, right? They need to meet you too! And they can help with Operation Cobra, and-'

'Whoa, kid, slow down!' Emma stood. 'One thing at a time, okay? They might not know they're adopted. They could be happy. We can't just go barging in on their lives.'

'But they're my brother and sister.' Henry's enthusiasm deflated. 'They should know where they come from too. Meeting you was the best thing that happened to me.'

'I'm sure it wasn't the _best_ thing,' Emma said, fidgeting. 'But I need you to trust me, okay? Let me handle this. I just thought you deserved to know.'

'Thank you!' Henry rushed at her, encircling arms around her middle in a hug.

Emma felt like she'd been hit with an elephant. Her chest constricted and she couldn't help wrapping him in her arms. Her son; she allowed herself to use that title.

'I knew you were here to help me!' Henry's voice was muffled against her shirt.

'That's right, kid, I am.' Emma promised, pulling him back to meet his green eyes. 'And nothing, not even a curse, is gonna stop that.'

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** _Are you looking forward to Emma meeting Ava and Nicholas? What do you think of her past with Killian so far? I hope everyone's enjoying this story!_


	3. The Boy With Blue Eyes

_I just have to say, this is one of my favourite chapters. Enjoy!_

* * *

 **~ The Boy with Blue Eyes ~**

In one of Mary Margaret's spare rooms, Emma dropped onto the bed with a heavy exhale. Sprawled on her back, she stared up at the ceiling and relished her moment of peace. Between waking up a coma patient (who Henry believed was her father, and Mary Margaret's soul-mate), and saving Ashley's baby from the clutches of Mr Gold's deal, Emma barely had time to think in the past few days.

She detached the deputy badge from her belt and held it up to look at it. She had a job and a place to stay - those were the beginning of roots and Emma wasn't sure she liked it. Yet she was capable of doing anything she had to for the sake of her kids.

She'd given them up once and it was the hardest thing she'd ever done - nothing else could compare to that.

'Emma?'

'Hey,' she said, propping herself on elbows to look at Mary Margaret. 'How's David?'

'Fine.' Mary Margaret glanced away with a smile. 'He doesn't remember anything, but Dr Whale said he's fine.'

'Aside from the memory thing?' Emma raised an eyebrow.

She was glad David was okay. She gleefully re-played the look of annoyance on Regina's face from that day - when Mary Margaret held David's hand as he settled back at the hospital. Mary Margaret would be a regular visitor there, Emma knew.

'How about you?' Mary Margaret wondered. 'I pulled Ava aside after class today, like you asked.'

'And?' Emma sat up properly.

'She said they moved last week and doesn't know the address, but everything's okay.' Mary Margaret frowned.

'You don't believe her,' Emma guessed, nodding. 'You didn't talk to Nicholas?'

'Oh, he doesn't talk,' she said. 'I mean, of course he talks, but not often. He's always been that way. Not shy, just very quiet.'

That didn't sound good. In the foster system, the quietest kids were ones with hidden storms inside. Then again, Emma didn't know much about kids and it could be normal for a ten-year-old to not be as talkative as his peers.

She glanced at the time and jumped up from the bed, muttering to herself.

'Sorry, gotta go. Henry's waiting for me.' Emma passed Mary Margaret and hurried from the apartment.

She'd agreed to meet for lunch at Granny's, since it was the weekend and Regina had business to take care of at the Mayor's office. Emma was already late; Henry didn't mind and simply offered her a wide smile as she entered.

'I ordered fries and hot cocoas,' Henry said. 'Is that okay?'

'Yeah. Sure.' Emma nodded, slipping into the seat across the booth. 'Is this official Operation Cobra business or are we just having lunch?'

'Both.' Henry looked over her shoulder. Eyes at the door, he waved.

Emma turned, watching two kids enter.

Her little daydream based on Mary Margaret's description of her other babies was replaced with their actual faces. Ava was taller than the two boys. Emma shuddered at how much the girl resembled her, whereas Nicholas and Henry looked the most like twins. Despite her emotional punch in the stomach, her children were more beautiful than she'd imagined.

The pair spotted Henry and approached the booth.

'Henry...' Emma winced.

'They know they're adopted,' Henry rushed to explain. 'They deserve to know you too. Please?'

His pleading eyes tore her resolve; Emma shifted over to make room for their extra company. Her heart pounded in her chest, trying to escape. Her heart tore itself emotionally, as Emma briefly wondered how Killian might have reacted in this situation. She was sure he'd handle it better than her.

'I got your message,' Ava said, sitting beside Henry. She warily glanced at Emma and chose to focus on Henry. 'How do you know anything about us?'

'Hi.'

Emma blinked at the dark-haired boy seated beside her.

Nicholas offered a smile and she was struck with his bright blue eyes. Her baby with the blue eyes, who she nearly made contact with moments after his birth, now sat beside her. He almost changed her mind ten years ago, and seeing Nicholas with a wide smile on his face reminded her why. And up close, his mirrored resemblance to Killian as a child immediately resurfaced her guilt.

'Who're you?' Ava narrowed green eyes at Emma.

'Uh...' She cleared her throat. 'Emma Swan. I've been looking for you. Both of you.' She tried to avoid anyone's eyes, her heart thumping and well-concealed tears prickling against her resolve.

'Why?' The girl's voice became harsher.

Emma couldn't blame her, but it pained her to hear such coldness from her own daughter. She was a stranger to them.

'I wanted to make sure you're okay.'

' _Why?_ ' Ava crossed arms on the table while Henry shifted with eagerness. Nicholas was still; Emma would pretend he wasn't there, but could feel him watching.

Emma hesitated.

She hadn't intended to tell them, especially not over lunch in the middle of Granny's Diner. She inched back, as Ruby delivered two baskets of fries and four hot cocoas with cinnamon. Ava sipped a hot cocoa. Nicholas hungrily grabbed a handful of fries. Henry gave Emma a grin. She was sick of the secrecy. She'd dreamed of this - sharing a meal with her three children. Maybe the fantasy was catching up to her, but Emma decided to tell them.

'Ten years ago, I gave birth to triplets – one girl and two boys.' Emma glanced round the table.

Henry watched for a reaction, Nicholas appeared to have not heard her, and Ava sat stunned by the unfolding truth.

'I gave them up for adoption,' Emma continued, clasping her hands under the table to keep from shaking. 'And, somehow, each of them ended up in Storybrooke.'

'She means us,' Henry piped up. 'She gave us away to give us our best chance. And-'

'Henry.' Emma halted him and the boy fell quiet.

'So...' Ava eyed at her suspiciously. 'You're our birth mother?'

Emma fidgeted and nodded. Her daughter examined Emma's hair and eyes, hand absently touching her own blonde waves tucked from her face. Ava glanced at Nicholas, who ate his fries without comment or pause. He was a strange kid, but Emma knew he was listening intently.

She leaned back, as Henry broke his silence to talk about the curse and how he had to find Emma to bring her back to Storybrooke on her 28th Birthday. Their Birthday.

'Time isn't frozen here anymore. She changed that.' Henry nodded to Emma.

'I knew it,' Ava whispered. 'Nothing changed, except us! I knew something weird was going on. And the mayor did it? With a curse?'

Emma sighed, not wanting to encourage the story. She stayed quiet, in shock and awe of having her three kids together after ten years. Henry was happier than she'd seen him, even if her time in Storybrooke was counted to a matter of days.

The only person missing was Killian.

'We call it Operation Cobra,' Henry said proudly.

'Cool name,' Nicholas said, startling Emma from her thoughts.

'Thanks.' Henry beamed at him.

'So what happens now?' Ava stared at Emma, breaking the conversation. 'If you're our birth mother, what happens now we know?'

It was like they'd skipped a step; they believed her rather easily. There were indications and it made sense, but still Emma expected...She wasn't sure, just more. More than the simple wish-fulfilment that played out in front of her.

'Are you gonna stay?' Nicholas added, abandoning interest in his food.

'Yes,' Emma nodded, fighting an urge to make physical contact. 'I'm not going anywhere.'

She made the mistake ten years ago to withdraw from his reach. She won't do it again, even while fearing the consequences of getting attached. Henry was hard to deal with and she only saw him a few hours a day. How could she cope with getting to know all three of her children, which she had no legal right to? How could she even entertain the idea of leaving now she'd seen the three of them together?

'You have your lives and homes...I can't interfere with that,' Emma said, ignoring the way Nicholas ducked his head and Ava's eyes became teary. 'Henry's right, though, I gave you away so you could have your best chance. That just wasn't with me.'

'What if we don't have it?' Ava asked quietly, leaning closer to the table. 'What if...' She halted and avoided eye contact.

'What if we need you?' Nicholas finished for her.

'I'm here if you want to talk or...' Emma watched Ava shift in her seat. 'What do you mean?'

The signs were there. As a former foster kid, it was impossible for Emma to ignore the tiny details. She was abandoned more than once by who she thought was family, and vowed to never overlook another child who might need someone to notice them.

Her own children...

'We're all alone,' Nicholas said.

'Nick!' Ava growled.

'You can trust her,' Henry said. 'I promise. She's here to help us.'

'How do you know?' Ava frowned. 'No one _ever_ wants to help us.'

'Well I do,' Emma promised. 'Is everything okay at home?'

Ava raised her chin and opened her mouth, then faltered. How long had her daughter been lying, if it became an effortless reflex? The boys sipped their hot cocoa, and Nicholas' eyes bore into his drink. Ava checked the vacant diner, and bit her lip.

'They never loved us,' Ava said, staring at their table. 'Dory and Michael Tillman - they didn't love us. When they died, nothing really changed. It was just harder. It happened three years ago and we've been...Homeless, ever since.'

'Homeless?' Emma gasped. 'For three years? Where have you been staying?'

'In a basement under an old house. We have a bed and stuff.' Ava shrugged. 'It's not too bad, but we have...Yeah, it sucks.'

Henry and Emma were speechless.

She couldn't believe how wrong things went for her triplets. She hated her choice to give them away, but seeing how it turned out made her wish she never had. Two kids being homeless for three years was about as far from their best chance as things could get.

'I don't wanna to go back there,' Nicholas sniffed.

'It's okay. I'll...I'll Figure something out.' Emma placed a hand on his shoulder, longing to comfort her son.

The ground shook at their feet, rattling plates and cups onto the floor. Ruby yelled incoherently in the back, and Granny rushed round the counter to see what was going on. When Emma arrived at Storybrooke, she thought small towns were quiet and boring – a fact that aimed to disprove.

'What's happening?' Ava grabbed hold of her chair.

The shaking stopped and car alarms wailed outside. It was too short for an Earthquake, but something must have happened somewhere in town. Emma wasn't surprised to immediately receive a call from Graham.

'I have to go,' Emma grumbled. She stood, but was blocked by Nicholas.

'Don't leave us!' He lunged forward and hugged her around the middle, grip tight in desperation. 'I don't wanna go back to the basement.'

It was no easier than when Henry hugged her, but Nicholas was softer despite his stronghold – able to reach deeper to the emotions Emma spent years locking away. She nudged him out of the way, heart breaking with his feeble surrender as if defeat was expected. She left the booth, slowly drawing in a breath to stay composed.

Her children stared at her and Emma wondered why she had to have triplets as one kid was hard enough.

'I'm not leaving you,' she said. 'But I'm the deputy and I have a job to do. People might need help; I have to go. We can talk about this later, okay?'

 _'We_ need help,' Ava said.

'And I'm going to help you, right after I find out what's happened.' Emma placed a hand on her daughter's shoulder, half-expecting the ground to shake again.

That couldn't be connected, but the timing was weird.

'But right now I have to go, okay?'

Ava nodded. Emma had her write down the address to where they were staying, then left the diner. The flaw in her plan was that they followed.

'No, you can't come.' She headed for the car, rolling eyes as each child ignored her and got in.

With the boys in the back seat, Ava smiled cheekily from the passenger side.

'Alrighty then.' Emma started the engine, too drained to keep fighting.

'Henry?' Regina wasn't pleased to see him arrive in the yellow bug. Emma didn't care, and kept an eye on the other two.

Henry was unpredictable - Emma knew less about anticipating Ava or Nicholas. A part of her was glad she didn't have to chase three toddlers around a house to keep from harm, but in her heart she knew every ounce of fear and frustration of raising three babies would never rival the pain of missing those years.

Regina's eyes fell to the other two children. A flicker in her gaze revealed the connection the Mayor made. Her arm wrapped Henry's shoulder, as the woman cast a glare at Emma.

'You're collecting the children now, Miss Swan? Dragging them from their lives for...whatever is it you want?' Regina frowned. 'That is very suspicious behaviour. Do their parents know they're out here with...well, _you?'_

'Yes. And they came to me,' Emma replied bitterly. 'What's going on?'

She looked to the crater, as if it was meant to be more important. The shaking was something to do with an old mine and its collapsing tunnels. Henry pulled free of Regina, rushing to lead Ava and Nicholas away from the group. Their hurried whispers didn't inspire confidence. Emma watched from afar, trying to focus on Regina and Graham's voices.

Once again, she felt different. The new Emma was getting stronger.

 **~ T ~**

'So you told them, just like that?' Corey laughed over the phone.

'It's not funny!' Emma grumbled, pacing Mary Margaret's apartment. The woman herself smiled in the kitchen. 'I was blind-sided; Henry arranged the whole thing. The looks they gave me...I don't know what happened to me. I must be going crazy.'

'I'm starting to like this kid,' Corey said. 'At least we know for sure it's them and you're not just _collecting_ some random kids.'

'Why do I talk to you?' Emma rolled her eyes.

'No idea,' Corey replied. 'What's your next move?'

'Getting them out of that basement, for starters. I have no idea how, without calling Social Services.' Emma sighed. 'I gotta go. I'll...Call you later.'

'Okay. Don't do anything I wouldn't.'

'Yeah because that list is _so_ long,' Emma said sarcastically and hung up. She exhaled and looked at Mary Margaret, amused how poorly the other woman hid her attentive listening. 'How's things with David?'

'Oh.' Mary Margaret looked up. 'Good. Things with David are good.' She said quickly, rinsing a glass in the sink.

'Okay...' Emma frowned.

There was a hurried knock at the door. Confirming Mary Margaret wasn't expecting someone, Emma went to answer it. Ava startled as the door opened, breathing heavily as if she'd run the way there. The girl's wide, green eyes were filled with panic.

Mary Margaret joined Emma's side.

'Is he here?' Ava tried to see into the apartment. 'Is Nick here?'

'No. Why?' Dread crept through Emma.

'He's missing.' Ava shuddered. 'We were at the diner and he just...He never does that!'

'Okay, hold on. Calm down.' She placed a hand on the girl's shoulder. Emma startled when her phone rang. 'What?'

'Is he with you?' Regina was her usual accusation-spitting self. 'Henry, is he with you?'

'Him too?' Emma groaned. 'No, he's not. I'll...Look for him.' She hung up and stared at her phone, then shared a glance with Mary Margaret.

'Henry's also missing?' She guessed.

'Yeah.' Emma grabbed her jacket. She nudged Ava outside, but the trio didn't make it far – in her rush, Emma bumped into Archie.

'Emma!' He gasped. 'Oh, thank God. Henry ran off earlier and I was hoping he was with you?'

'No. In this town, how do we lose two ten-year-olds?' Emma grumbled. 'Did he say anything to you; do you know where he might have gone?'

'Oh.' Archie's shoulders slumped. 'Yes. Henry wanted to get proof, he...I fear he might have gone to the collapsed mine.'

'Henry talked about it. Said there might be something down there,' Ava added. 'Nicholas believed him.'

'Call Graham.' Emma tossed her phone to Mary Margaret. 'Can I trust you to come with me and not give me another kid to worry about?' She turned sternly to Ava.

'They're my brothers.' Ava nodded. 'You're gonna help them, right?'

'Damn right.' She promised.

* * *

Henry smacked his hand with the flashlight until it flickered on. He shone light on rocky walls of the mine and the posts holding tunnels together. Aiming the beam at dirty ground, he focused on their plan.

Nicholas walked into sight and Henry smiled.

'Thanks,' Henry said. 'For helping me. Nobody believes me about the curse. Now Archie...Emma doesn't either but I know she's trying.'

Nicholas nodded and turned his own flashlight on to look around. They each wore their schoolbags, cluttered with supplies and candy. Nicholas didn't talk much, but Henry hoped he would with his brother.

He was prepared to be patient.

'Nicholas-'

'Nick,' he said. 'I prefer Nick, from family.'

'Sure.' Henry's smile widened. 'So, Nick, any ideas where to start?'

Nicholas shrugged.

'That's okay, I do.' Henry shone his flashlight up, then across the walls.

He led the way along rail tracks and round a curved corner. Even if they didn't find proof, it was worth the trip to spend time with his brother. Henry wasn't alone anymore. It was an amazing feeling he no longer had to imagine.

'What's she like?' Nicholas asked, kicking shards of glass mingled with dirt. 'Our mum?'

'She's great,' Henry said, touching a rocky wall with his hand as they walked.

He'd seen the Evil Queen pick something up and pocket it. There had to be something in the mines – why else would she want to fill it in?

'Emma's a lot of work, but she's not used to having a family. She thought her parents abandoned her, but really they sent her through a magical wardrobe - to save her from the curse.'

Henry hoped Nicholas really did believe him. He watched his brother for a reaction, but it was hard to know what was on his mind. Nicholas walked beside him and shone the flashlight around, speaking mostly in questions. But he was there - that's what mattered; he was trying, just like Emma.

'Who's our dad?' Nicholas' blue eyes brightened in the light Henry blinded him with.

'I...Don't know.' Henry tilted his head curiously. 'I think Emma needs time to tell us everything. All this stuff is new, but I believe in her. I believe she can do this – break the curse and save everyone. And be a good mum.'

'Me too.' Nicholas smiled. 'So - what are we looking for?'

'Clues,' Henry said. 'Anything to prove the Evil Queen might be trying to-'

Rocks crumbled from a wall's high point, forcing both boys off the path. Ground shuddered at their feet, like in the diner. Nicholas clutched his flashlight while Henry decided they needed to move faster. The shaking stopped.

'Let's look down here.' Henry pointed to a right tunnel.

Nicholas nodded and followed, glancing overhead more often and hurried to keep up.

'I have a _brother_ ,' Nicholas said, pausing.

'Me too.' Henry grinned. 'How does it feel? I think it's cool but...weird.'

Nicholas nodded. He frowned and moved the flashlight over a pile of fallen rocks. Henry spun round to see what caught his attention. It was a chunk of something shiny, possibly made of thick glass. The boys exchanged a look, but the ground shook and small rocks tumbled by their shoes.

There was a thundering crash somewhere in the tunnel behind them. Nicholas yelled and fell sideways against a wall. Henry almost lost his footing, hands stretched to brace himself. The brothers stared wide-eyed at each other, their search for clues forgotten.

'Where's the way out?' Nicholas looked around wildly, coughing dust.

'I...I dunno.' Henry ran into the main tunnel, but they were all the same.

The ground shook again. Nicholas grabbed hold of Henry's arm to keep themselves steady, using his flashlight to scan for an exit.

'A cart!' Henry tugged Nicholas. He examined the overturned cart piled with large rocks. 'Oh.' His eyes followed the light of Nicholas' flashlight, revealing the rocks were wedged into place as a means of holding the roof together. Without the cart, it would certainly cave in.

Nicholas jumped back in time to avoid clumps of dirt falling beside them. He tugged Henry away, and the boys run through a tunnel together. The ground trembled violently, but they kept a hold of each other's sleeves so neither got left behind.

Stopping to catch their breath, Henry glanced over at Nicholas and felt a horrible sensation in his stomach. Rocks rolled further ahead, blocking the path. They were lost and stuck underground.

'I'm really, really, _really_ sorry,' Henry said, wiping eyes. 'I just wanted to find proof. I didn't...'

Nicholas kept looking around, then took a deep breath and faced him. He placed a hand on Henry's shoulder and nodded. Words weren't always necessary. The ground shook again and more dirt fell through cracks in the roof. They crouched together in the strongest-looking corner, not sure what to do.

Rumbling stopped but they weren't safe yet.

Henry brushed dirt off his collar and checked Nicholas. His brother was biting his lip and staring down the blocked tunnel lit by his flashlight. Sighing, Henry slipped off his bag and got out a candy bar. He broke it in half and offered part to Nicholas, who accepted.

'I thought, if we found proof...' Henry said, through chewing his chocolate. 'Maybe it would be easier. Maybe I don't have to do this alone. If our mum believed...But we didn't find anything.'

Nicholas lowered his flashlight.

'Don't give up, Henry.' Nicholas stood. 'I dunno if I believe you, about the curse, but I believe _in_ you.'

'You do?' Henry grinned, hopping up.

'Yeah.' He nodded, pointing to the blocked tunnel. 'And I have an idea.'

'I'm all ears.'

'There's light up there.' Nicholas carefully led the way across the tunnel, directing his flashlight at the blockage of huge rocks.

Henry saw a crack with sunlight shining through. It wasn't close, but a shard of glass reflected light from the surface high above. Rocks looked sturdy enough to climb. He put his bag over his shoulders and inhaled a breath, moving to test the first big rock.

He climbed up with Nicholas following behind. The tunnels weren't especially high, so they only had to crawl over three big rocks to reach the broken roof. Peering into the crack, Henry realised it was partially blocked with wooden planks.

A sound carried downwards – almost a voice, but sharper and urgent.

'What's that?' Nicholas asked.

'Pongo!' Henry gasped, recognising the bark. 'There's someone up there! We need to let them know we're here.'

'Can we move anything without getting buried?' Nicholas asked shakily.

'Maybe.' Henry gave a plank a shove. It didn't budge.

Nicholas climbed higher to help, wedging wood loose enough to let the plank drop to the ground. Everything shook, prompting the boys to grab a hold of the rock and each other to not fall down. Dirt crumbled in their hair but they ignored it.

There were human voices in the distance, not clear enough to know who was talking. Henry was helpless and stuck, scared he was going to be buried underground forever. Nicholas whimpered.

 _'Hey!'_ Henry yelled through planks and dirt to the darkness above.

Nicholas retrieved his flashlight from a jacket pocket and beamed it up to reveal a wide tunnel. It resembled an elevator shaft without the elevator.

 _'Help!'_ Nicholas joined in.

Everything shook now, not just the ground.

The brothers held each other's sleeves. Henry pretended not to notice Nicholas was trying not to cry. It was hard being brave; how did all the heroes he read about do it?

'We're gonna get out,' Henry said. 'I know it. Someone will save us.'

'Henry? Nicholas!'

'Emma!' Henry looked up. Flickering light lowered towards them.

'You kids okay?'

'Yeah!' he called back, sharing a grin with Nicholas. 'But we're stuck!'

'I can see that,' Emma said. She stood on a plank by the wall, peering into the mess of planks and rocks separating her from them. 'Okay, hang tight a minute.'

Henry and Nicholas ducked their heads as dirt rained down, with each plank Emma shifted and carefully let fall by them to the ground. Things shook again and Nicholas rubbed furiously at his eyes.

'I'm scared!'

'I know, Nicholas.' Emma grunted, parting a hole through wood and rock. 'But I'm gonna get you out, okay? _Both_ of you.'

'Both of us?' Nicholas looked up.

'Of course.' She frowned. 'Okay, can either of you get through?'

'I can't reach.' Henry was the closest. He tried to stretch up to climb through the new hole but it was just a bit too high.

He looked down when Nicholas circled arms around him and tried to lift him higher. Henry reached his hands as high as he could until Emma grabbed a hold. She instructed Nicholas to hang onto Henry as tight as he could. Rocks below wobbled when another quake thundered everything around them.

'You hold onto your brother, Nicholas,' Emma repeated. 'Don't let go, you hear me? I'm getting you both out.'

Emma pulled Henry through the hole, enough to hang onto his chest. He looked below at Nicholas' wide blue eyes and let her go. Henry wrapped his arms around his middle, keeping his brother firmly in his grip.

'Together.' Henry smiled.

'Together.' Nicholas nodded. He closed his eyes while Emma raised them up the hole until they were blinded by fading daylight.

 **~ T ~**

People cheered around him, but Emma's focus was on holding Henry as close as possible.

When Marco and other workers hoisted her out, she tightly grabbed Nicholas' jacket and pulled him to her. The boys clung against both her sides, relieved and safe. They were safe, but her heart continued its hammering beat.

'Henry!' Regina gasped.

She let him go, watching as Regina pulled the boy close with relief equal to Emma's. Ava appeared beside her, face tearful but smiling through dust and dimming fear. Emma released Nicholas so his sister could give him a hug.

Regina pulled Henry further away, dashing Emma's hope for a proper hug from her now-safe son. He watched her around Regina's arm, but Emma broke eye contact when the other two children hugged her.

She smiled, exhaling heavy relief, and wiped a smudge of dirt from Nicholas' cheek. The black-haired boy stared at her with his father's blue eyes, and Emma placed a hand on his shoulder in yearning to connect. Ava and Henry were no less her children too, but there was something about Nicholas that made Emma want to hold on a bit tighter. She thought it was how similar he looked to Killian but, in that moment of reunion and relief, Emma wasn't sure. All she saw was Nicholas.

'Henry!' Regina scolded, as he pulled away and ran to rejoin Emma.

The boys hugged and Emma loved their unity. Her two sons had clearly bonded over whatever happened down in the mines. Their hair was equally ruffled and dusty, which neither managed to tame. Regina's sour look lacked shared amusement.

'You two really scared me,' Emma said, taking Henry and Nicholas' hands in each of her own.

'I'm sorry,' Henry said, smiling at her. Nicholas nodded.

'You're an idiot.' Ava shook her head, lacking actual insult. 'Both of you.'

Emma rolled her eyes. Regina let Henry be, and went to talk to Archie. Emma blinked when Graham crossed her view.

'Hey.' She frowned, anxious why the sheriff was so serious amidst celebration.

'I got a strange phone call just now,' Graham said. 'From a Corey Swan?'

'What?' Emma released the boys, stepping aside to talk to Graham. 'He called you? Why?'

'Mr Gold stopped by the station last night. Said some weird stuff,' Graham continued. 'None of it made sense until this call from your...brother?'

'Uh, sort of.' Emma waved off the title. 'What's going on?'

'These two are homeless?' Graham indicated to Ava and Nicholas.

'Yeah.' Emma tensed. Ava moved to her side, emotionally glueing herself there. 'I'm working on that.'

'No need,' Graham said. 'I don't want to know how, but apparently...'

Emma accepted the offered paper, reading it carefully. Words blurred on the page and her heart raced. She forgot how to speak. Corey hadn't told her; how Mr Gold was involved was a mystery, but the declaration was undeniable in writing.

'Are you ready for this?' Graham asked.

'What's going on?' Henry asked, his voice shaking. 'Are...Is something wrong?'

'No.' Emma's words choked in her throat. She pat Henry's shoulder and Ava's blonde head, then looked firmly at Graham. 'And no, I don't know if I'm ready but I will be. I mean, I am. Yeah...I can do this.' She nodded, completely unconvinced.

'Emma?' Ava was upset, prompting Emma to look at her daughter's face. 'Are they gonna to take us away?'

'No.' Emma swallowed, laughing nervously. 'No, never. You and Nicholas...You're coming with me.'

'No more basement?' Nicholas stared at her.

'No more basement.' Emma nodded, gasping as the two kids lunged to hug her.

Henry's sad eyes contradicted his smile when she met his gaze.

However, the enthusiasm wasn't shared. Emma felt sick inside with the parental responsibility that came out of nowhere. It wasn't important how it happened, but she had to accept it. She needed to be ready this time. Emma had to learn what it truly meant to be a parent because an official piece of paper said she was on her way to being one. Ava and Nicholas would be staying with her now.

They deserved their best chance and a twist of fate decided maybe now that really was with her.

Ten years ago, Emma heard their three beatings hearts for the first time and thought it was the most terrifying thing she'd never known. Now, things changed and they'd be together – the fear of screwing it up was beyond anything Emma thought possible. Looking down at the two ten-year-olds wrapped in her arms, Emma smiled at Nicholas' blue eye shining up at her. She recalled the little hand reaching for her. She leaned sideways to press her cheek to the top of Ava's head, her hand finding Nicholas'.

She never wanted to let go.

The shared moment was so many things, but a piece was missing. A voice in the back of her mind was like an echo of the younger Emma she no longer was. It spoke of a silent wish that she didn't have to face this alone. After everything she'd been through, a part of Emma still wanted Killian there with her.

Staring at the blue-eyed face of their ten-year-old son, she'd never missed him more.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** uh-oh, is Emma ready for the abrupt plunge into motherhood? Link to the video for this story can be found in my profile - keep in mind it contains some story spoilers, and a scene from the next chapter. Ava and Nicholas are officially a part of the story! This is one of the few chapters to have a POV other than Emma's, so I hope you enjoyed Henry's perspective. Feedback is always much appreciated.


	4. Breathe (Part 1)

_Had to split this into two parts due to length. Thank you so much for every review, favourite, and follow!_

* * *

 **~ Breathe (Part 1) ~**

The sun had set, casting shadows over a foreboding moment inside the Sheriff Station. Emma's hand shook, prompting a tighter grip on the pen. Graham gave her plenty of space, but the room was still too small and air too thick.

'I know you can do this,' Graham said. It was probably meant to be encouraging, but his confidence flared her self-doubt.

'How? _How_ can you know that.?' She frowned, eyes glaring at the final signature line on the last form.

There were a few more legal milestones to meet before full parental custody was returned to her – but in Emma's mind and heart, this was it. Once she signed the last line on the last form, Ava and Nicholas were hers in all ways they weren't before. A stack of ink and paper was about to make her a real mother who raised her kids and kept them safe.

'I know because you're nervous.' Graham shrugged at the corner of her eye. 'You don't want to let them down. That's a pretty good start.'

'Right.' Emma shuddered, bracing herself. She quickly signed the form, then handed the papers and pen off to Graham. 'What now?'

It was too easy. Too fast. How did Corey know to contact Gold? She told Ava and Nicholas she was their birth mother, and now she had guardianship of them with the responsibility of their care. They'd even skipped the home study or any involvement of social services. It was legal, but no way had it gone through proper channels. With Mr Gold involved, Emma wasn't surprised. He was definitely more than a simple pawnbroker.

'Now,' Graham said, 'you take them home.'

Home. It wasn't the right word, but she didn't comment.

Mary Margaret happily offered her other spare room to the kids, saying Emma was welcome to stay. Her continued kindness baffled Emma, who forgot to ask why a single schoolteacher needed a three-bedroom, loft apartment.

Emma stepped outside, mind buzzing and heart panicking. Cheers indicated celebrations at the mine had moved to the town. She gripped unfamiliar car keys – her yellow bug somehow suffered a dent on the front corner, where a tyre also blew outwards. Billy towed it from the mine area and said he'd get it fixed in no time. Until then, Deputy Emma Swan would look the part with her own police car.

Parked near Granny's Diner, Emma calmed her nerves. It was properly dark now. A crowd thinned to reveal Regina and Henry, then Ruby - who kept a watchful eye on Ava and Nicholas. She could to this.

They needed their mother now and she could do this.

'Congratulations,' Ruby said.

'Thanks.' Emma stood in front of her now-legal son and daughter.

She'd briefly explained they'd be living with her now, but the reality of it was still being processed. Ava and Nicholas needed to pack their stuff, then they'd move into their teacher's apartment right after.

She could do this.

'What about Henry?' Ava was upset, glancing at her other brother.

Regina kept grip on Henry's shoulders, where the pair stood a respectful distance away.

'That's out of my control.' Emma tried not to look. 'Time to go.'

She opened the car door, but the two kids didn't get in. It was wrong; Henry should be there too. She gave birth to three babies so it should be three kids in the car. Ava's eyes filled with tears. Nicholas stared at his shoes.

'I'll figure something out.' Emma sighed. 'For now, this is how it's gotta be.'

Ava and Nicholas got in the back seat. She looked at Regina's smirk, and growled. Emma slammed the car door. Through the mirror, Henry's watchful face had her gripping tight to the steering wheel.

Exhaling, she turned the key and startled when Henry appeared at the partially-unwound window.

'This isn't fair.' He sniffled. 'What about _me?_ I'm your son too.'

'I know, Henry.' Emma couldn't look at him. 'It sucks, but it'll be okay. You've got your mum and we'll be right here in Storybrooke.'

Henry stepped away. She put her foot to the pedal and drove ahead, refusing to turn back. She had two kids to take care of now. Henry wasn't going anywhere, he just wasn't with them.

Driving darkened streets of the small town gave Emma a brief break from stress and self-doubt. She checked the address Ava gave her – leading to an old house. They left the car and Ava headed to a basement, around overgrown cars and through a door barely kept on its hinges. It was also a garage storage area of an abandoned house.

It seemed impossible for two ten-year-olds to share the small camp bed. Emma swallowed another lump of guilt.

'You lived here for three years?' she whispered.

'Yeah.' Ava nodded, choosing what to put in a trash bag for keeping.

The walls were so neglected that several layers of paint peeled, and the floor was dusty enough for sweeping to be a breathing hazard. Shelves were piled with junk. Discarded items and metal objects cluttered corners, like an old tool shed rather than a basement. It was an improvement to some places Emma saw while growing up, but the room's condition made her angry. She should have prevented this – three years of homelessness they'd endured on their own.

Her kids needed her and Emma wasn't there.

'Got everything?'

Ava and Nicholas nodded, clutching bags of belongings. It was a few sets of clothes and books, but Nicholas also grabbed an unopened box of cereal and a frayed teddy bear.

Biting back emotions, Emma nudged them to the tattered door. Ava lingered to give the place a final glance. Nicholas charged forward and crawled into the car – he was shaking, holding his things in a vice grip.

In that moment, he was a perfect echo of young Killian.

Ava and Nicholas both resembled one parent more than the other, like mirrors of the past. Emma had to overcome that way of thinking – to remember the triplets were each their own person with different personalities and interests.

'Emma?' Ava poked her from the back seat.

'Right. Sorry.' She nodded, slackening her hold on the steering wheel.

Ava and Nicholas were her kids now; she was allowed to get to know them. No one was coming to take them away or tell her she couldn't be a mother. Emma finally had a family of her own.

She really could do this.

~ T ~

They didn't go to the loft right away. A quick detour meant shopping for new and better-fitting clothes – Emma also made mental note to buy toys or whatever else kids needed. She wouldn't be satisfied until her children owned more stuff than she did.

'This is weird,' Ava whispered, following Emma up stairs to the apartment. 'She's our teacher.'

'Or grandmother, according to Henry,' Nicholas added.

Emma pretended not to hear.

'Welcome,' Mary Margaret said with a warm smile. 'Make yourselves at home.'

'Thanks again.' Emma couldn't find words to express the depth of her gratitude. So she forced a smile and led the kids upstairs to the spare room beside her own, which was less lived-in. Never had Emma experienced such a fierce urge to paint walls and hang curtains.

'You have to share a bed, but it's pretty big.' She sighed, as each child stood either side of her with bags clutched in arms. 'It's not much, but I promise we'll turn this into your own space. We'll add colour and personal touches until it's a real bedroom.'

'Thanks.' Ava nodded. 'It's great.'

It was better than a dusty, tool-cluttered basement. No one said it, but the truth hung in the air.

'Okay.' Emma shifted awkwardly. 'Dinner's in an hour. Get settled and come downstairs whenever you're ready.'

Ava hurried to test the bed's mattress. Nicholas wrapped Emma's middle in a hug, then joined his sister.

To Emma's uneasy surprise, having two of her children legally in her care awoke a side of herself that wanted contact with them. She yearned to hug Ava and Nicholas close for as long as they'd allow, to make up for every moment they spent alone – wondering why she gave them away. Had they also cried themselves to sleep at night, wanting their parents so badly it hurt?

To avoid making adjustments harder or more uncomfortable than it already was, she turned quickly and went downstairs to help prepare dinner.

'How does this work?' Mary Margaret asked, chopping carrots.

'I have a week,' Emma explained while washing tomatoes in the sink. 'If no living relative or legal guardian shows up to challenge the court ruling by the end of the week, they're mine. Any time after, I just sign more forms and they'll completely restore my parental custody.'

Saying it aloud sent chills over her skin.

No one would step forward. Emma's parents hadn't shown themselves for twenty-eight years and weren't going to start now. The Tillmans were dead with no living relatives – not even some distant cousin twice removed. Unless Killian or someone from his family miraculously reappeared in her life within a week, Ava and Nicholas were technically already hers to raise.

'Wow,' Mary Margaret said in a heavy way Emma felt in her chest. 'You know what this means. Are you ready to be their mum?'

'I think so. I mean, I have to be.' Emma glanced at the door, trying not to wish Killian would walk through it right then and demand to be part of their lives. It was a dream of a past Emma struggled to let go of.

Magic miracles and happy endings only happened in storybooks.

'Well, whatever it's worth, I believe in you.' Mary Margaret was almost convincing. 'You can all stay as long as you need.'

Gratitude words got choked in her throat again, so Emma busied herself with peeling potatoes.

Mary Margaret was great at small talk. She kept Emma's mind distracted with general conversation while they made dinner. It was very domestic and Emma found she rather enjoyed it. She'd never cooked something like honeyed chicken and steamed vegetables before, but realised afterwards that Mary Margaret subtly taught her the basics.

The scent of delicious food lured Nicholas downstairs, his nose in the air as he took a deep breath. He didn't speak, just wandered the apartment to look at everything he could find.

'Hey, kid.' Emma gestured him over. 'Help set the table.' She indicated to a pile of cutlery on the counter.

'Don't know how.' Nicholas frowned.

'I'll teach you.' Mary Margaret smiled kindly.

Emma headed upstairs when Ava didn't answer her call. She nudged the bedroom door open with her foot. Ava sat at the edge of the large bed, with Nicholas' teddy bear on her lap.

'You hungry?'

'Yeah.' Ava nodded, not looking up.

Emma hesitated.

She crossed the room at sat beside the child who first made her a mother. Ava was only the eldest by a few minutes, but there was maturity to her that Emma recognised. Her daughter's blonde hair was long as her own and curled the same way, yet Ava nervously scratched behind her ear with a mannerism Emma smiled at.

'There were two,' Ava said, brushing fingers over an ear of the aged bear. 'The Tillmans gave us one each when they adopted us.'

'Where's yours?'

'I burned it when Michael died.' Ava scrunched her eyebrows. 'Then Nicholas and I ran. I guess we don't have to hide anymore.'

Emma reached to hold her daughter's hand, unsure what to say but refusing to do nothing. Ava glanced at the touch, green eyes raising to add shine to her smile.

'Let's go eat.' Emma tugged Ava's hand, encouraging the girl to her feet.

Ava tossed the bear aside and followed, releasing her hand when they reached the bottom step. Nicholas carefully aligned everything on the table – glasses, plates, cutlery, and even napkins. Ava rolled her eyes at his proud smile and sat down, purposefully moving a spoon out of place.

Mary Margaret led conversation during dinner, steering away from uncomfortable or confronting topics. It was a peaceful and strange meal. Emma and Nicholas wolfed down their food while Ava tried to copy Mary Margaret's manners, with mixed results.

When it was over, Ava sprung from her chair in offer to wash dishes.

'Oh. That's not necessary.' Emma shook her head. 'I mean, you'll get chores and stuff later but you don't need to anything tonight.'

'I want to,' Ava insisted.

'Me too!' Nicholas stood.

Emma's joke about kids who wanted to do chores evaporated on her tongue. She knew why they were eager. During the years spent in foster care, when she moved to a new place, Emma had tried to please her new foster parents too. Emma had wanted them to like her so she'd stay longer.

Ava and Nicholas were two-years-old when adopted, but by circumstances they were essentially foster kids. Emma blamed herself. Henry was unlucky to have a stern mayor for a mother, but he knew what a home looked like. Ava and Nicholas deserved to know too.

'No!' Ava shrieked with laughter, breaking Emma from darkened thoughts.

Memories of foster homes and loneliness tore away comparisons, faced with the sight of her kids trying to wash dishes together. Nicholas tossed soapsuds at his sister – she yelled, trying to dodge without dropping the plate she'd washed.

Mary Margaret tided the table, not bothered by the watery mess being made in her kitchen.

'Ava!' Nicholas whined, hair drenched by a sponge she squished over his head.

Emma's chest constricted at their giggling faces. Arms tightly crossed, she resisted an urge to get away. Inhaling was a struggle and her hands began to shake. She was a mother now. It hit her all at once. She had two kids who needed everything – things Emma didn't know how to provide. What if it wasn't enough? What if she failed them again?

Panic surged and Emma fled.

She burst into the landing outside the apartment. She grabbed a railing with both hands, looking to stairs leading down. She tried to steady her breathing before she had a full-blown breakdown.

'Emma?' Mary Margaret carefully shut the door behind her, fading the kids' laughter.

She didn't budge.

Emma placed a hand over her mouth, willing herself not to throw up from the nervousness racing through her. Insides twisted and stabbed any confidence she'd managed to get a hold of earlier.

'I can't do this.' She gasped. 'I don't know how to be a mother. How can I be a mother if I never was one?'

'You'll figure it out,' Mary Margaret's voice was as soothing as the hand rubbing Emma's back.

Emma assumed that's what a mother sounded like, doubtful she'd ever have that kind of calm patience. Henry thought Mary Margaret actually was her mother and, for once, it'd have made everything easier.

'What if I make a mistake?' Emma kept a death grip on the railing. It was stronger than the plastic frame of the bed she was handcuffed to while giving birth. That cold, painful day flashed through her mind, making her certain she was about to heave her dinner.

'Then you'll fix it,' Mary Margaret said. 'No one's perfect, Emma. Not even parents. You just have to be there for them.'

'That's it?'

'Yeah.' The woman smiled when Emma glared at her with disbelief. 'Just take it one day at time.'

'One day at a time,' Emma repeated, hanging her head.

She exhaled the longest breath her lungs could handle. She glanced at the closed door. One day at a time – she already lived her life that way. It was the only part she knew how to do, but it was a start.

Emma met Killian at the age their kids were now. Memories of their times together were fuzzy at best, but the night the triplets were conceived was the first time Emma felt she could love or be loved. The real kind of love – not one that changed as surely as days of the week.

No matter what afterwards, the triplets didn't ask to exist. Emma and Killian brought them into the world and that was their responsibility. She gave them up ten years ago, but the choice she faced now was much harder because she knew them. It wasn't cries in the background and a pair of blue eyes; they were three kids with names and personalities. They had hopes, dreams, and needs. She'd faced it, but motherhood was a whole other factor with endless opportunities to fail.

" _I've yet to see you fail."_

Emma exhaled, blinking tears. She'd give almost anything to hear Killian's voice rather than a faded echo of long ago. She pictured his stupid smirk and unfairly-sexy hair, but only for a moment. She forced herself to accept reality. Ava and Nicholas were her kids in every way they could be. Emma wished she knew what to do about it.

~ T ~

Mary Margaret planned to attend a welcome home party for David. Fear of being left alone with her kids on the first night of true motherhood, Emma decided they'd all go. Henry would be there too and Emma wanted to check he was okay. Ava and Nicholas didn't share interest in attending an event of chatter and manners, but frowned eyebrows and crossed arms were their only protests.

Soaked from playfully washing the dishes, Emma sent them upstairs to change. She liked seeing them in their new clothes, absent of frayed corners or faded colours. Ava's style was similar to Emma's, with a frequent appearance of red or black. Nicholas preferred his vest and hoodie, with lots of dark blue. She still compared and categorised, but Emma intended to work on that – no matter how obviously they resembled her and Killian.

Emma didn't mind walking, glad to get out of the loft for a while.

The party could be a chance to see more of Ava and Nicholas' personalities, but she didn't expect as much. They shied from the doorway, allowing her gentle nudge to remind them they didn't have to hide anymore. The diner was decorated with banners and balloons, celebrated by a small crowd of familiar faces – including those who'd helped her at the mine.

'Look, I know this is a lot, but it's good for you. The smallest things could trigger your memories,' Dr Whale was saying to David. 'Just try and have fun.'

'Thank you, Dr Whale.' David nodded. 'I'll do my best.'

'Nick!'

Henry's voice turned their attention to a booth at the back. Mary Margaret went straight to greet David, who gave her a big smile in return. Emma sat beside Henry, who chatted away to his siblings. It was easier not to over-think everything with Henry, who didn't outright resemble his parents.

'Do you know why he doesn't remember?' Henry asked. He glanced at Nicholas, then looked across the diner to where David and Mary Margaret were talking. 'The curse isn't working on him yet.'

'Henry, David has amnesia,' Emma reminded him, nodding at Nicholas' request to get them snacks. It was a party, after all.

'Which is preventing the curse from replacing his fairytale story with fake memories,' Henry said.

'Right.' Emma glanced at Ava, who wasn't convinced either. 'Because everyone here has fake stories that prevent them from remembering who they really are.'

'Right.' Henry nodded, reaching for some sort of chicken nibbles Nicholas brought back.

Ava shifted over so Nicholas could sit across from Emma. The boy was still hungry, despite having eaten dinner at the loft. Nicholas listened to Henry with raised eyebrows, taking in every word.

'Now's our chance to help him,' Henry added. 'We just have to get him to remember that he-'

'He's Prince Charming,' Emma finished, confident in her grasp of the story's outline.

'How?' Nicholas wondered, also watching David.

The man glanced back, noticing the attention. Mary Margaret told him something then went to greet Ruby at the counter. Emma watched David's expression, though she didn't know what she was looking for.

Henry quickly explained the situation to Ava and Nicholas, about how they'd woken the man from a coma with Mary Margaret's help.

'Hey.' David approached, offering each an uncertain smile. 'You're the ones who saved me, right?'

'Yeah, I guess.' Emma smiled, rising from the booth.

'And you're also the only ones I know here.' David sighed.

'You can hide with us,' she said. His gaze drifted over the other two kids, which she then gestured to. 'Oh. This is Ava and Nicholas.'

'Yours?' He assumed, looking at the three in turn.

'Yeah.' Henry jumped in, moving closer across the seat.

A waiter came around with a tray of food, which Nicholas hopped off his seat to pick from. He hesitated, observing David spear a piece with a toothpick before copying the action. The boy looked to Emma, but she didn't know what he was silently asking. Nicholas probably didn't know what to do at a party like that – was she supposed to say something?

Ava kept her head down and fidgeted, except when either of her brothers talked.

'So, you ever use a sword?' Henry asked David.

'I'm sorry?' David laughed with Emma

Henry's smile widened. He surrendered his storybook theory for the rest of the party; Nicholas and Ava kept him distracted. They played darts with Sheriff Graham while David and Emma talked. He remembered she lived with Mary Margaret, as the woman herself joined them.

Emma didn't stay long, but was glad they'd attended.

She (with Ava and Nicholas) walked Henry home, then was relieved to see the loft after a long day. The twins, as Emma decided to call them in her mind to simplify things, got ready for bed. Was she supposed to set things for that, like a bedtime or daily routine? They were ten - not toddlers but not teenagers either; what were they too young or old for?

Conflicted, Emma went to say goodnight with a weighed heart. It was the first time she'd ever done so. She hadn't been there for any of it – never changed a diaper, read a bedtime story, kissed them goodnight, or soothed a nightmare. The sleepy twins climbed into bed and Emma stood in the doorway, not knowing if she should tuck them in or just turn off the light. It's new territory.

What had the Tillmans done?

'Night,' Nicholas said.

Ava rolled onto her side, yawning loudly into her hands. Emma smiled, fighting tears for each day and night she'd missed. Her hand raised to switch off the light when her son quickly crawled over his sister. Ava growled at him, while Nicholas grabbed his teddy bear from under their bed.

Cuddling it close, his blue eyes looked at Emma.

'What is it?' she asked, as he bit his lip.

'Is this real?' Nicholas asked quietly. 'We really get to stay with you forever?'

'Yes.' Emma kept herself firmly in the doorway. 'We're a family now, kid.'

Nicholas smiled and wriggled under covers, earning a kick from Ava. Emma turned off the light and went downstairs. Mary Margaret stayed at the party, but this time she didn't mind. Emma sat at the table and steadied her breathing.

Upstairs, her children were asleep in their bedroom. It was a terrifyingly concept, but one she was determined to accept.

From her time in foster care, Emma knew the first night in a new place was the most important – if Ava and Nicholas slept through the night, they'd know they were somewhere safe. Emma won't get much sleep herself, waiting to see if it's true, but it'd be worth it. The loft was small for four people, and the kids' room needed a lot of work, but for now it was where half their family lived.

But it wasn't quite a home. Emma was unsure what made something homely; another part of her new role as a mother that she'd have to figure out.

If Killian was there, he'd tell her she could do this. If Emma couldn't believe in herself yet, then she chose to believe him.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** _Thank you to the guest reviewer who let me know the video link wasn't working. It should be fixed now!_


	5. Breathe (Part 2)

**~ Breathe (Part 2) ~**

Time passed normally between Saturday night and Sunday morning, yet felt to have run ahead of Emma. It wasn't because she overslept, but rather the acceptance and consequence she'd woken to.

She was a mother now.

Despite wanting to bury herself under blankets until everything was less scary, Emma snatched a plain blue shirt and shrugged on a denim jacket.

She restlessly followed the sounds of chatter and kitchenware downstairs.

'This is _so_ good!' Nicholas declared, jabbing his fork into scrambled eggs.

Ava rolled her eyes. She reached for a glass of juice and looked at Emma, who'd paused on the bottom step. The girl waved, which Nicholas copied between mouthfuls of food.

'Morning,' Emma said, resisting a frown.

'Good morning,' Ava politely replied.

Nicholas mumbled something incoherent.

Emma sat at the table, blinking in surprise when Mary Margaret placed breakfast in front of her. How could anyone be energetic while making breakfast on an early Sunday morning?

'Sleep well?' Emma carefully glanced at the twins.

'Yes.' Ava nodded, eyes aimed at her plate. 'What are we doing today?'

'We?' Emma disguised her choking on coffee. 'Oh. Right. I have work...'

'Can we come?' the girl asked.

'You want to come to the station with me?' Emma grimaced. 'Watch me fill out boring paperwork, not stay here and watch TV or whatever?'

'Yeah.' Ava elbowed Nicholas, who quickly nodded.

'Really? Uh...' Emma glanced at Mary Margaret's encouraging smile. 'I'll have to check it's okay with Sheriff Graham.'

Graham was fine with the kids being there, as long as they stayed out of trouble and Emma kept an eye on them. Ava fidgeted and avoided eye contact. It wasn't far to the station, but Emma let the girl play games on her phone. Nicholas sat by himself in the back seat of the police car, staring out the window in silence.

Emma should've asked Mary Margaret for tips on making small talk with children.

'Cool!' Nicholas ran ahead, but Ava kept close to Emma.

Although unsure what was exciting about some desks and three jail cells, Emma saw the opportunity to get to know her kids better. They hadn't interacted as much as she'd hoped at the party. Everything about coming to Storybrooke started and grew with Henry – she missed him.

Cells remained empty and no calls came in from town. Emma liked her job, but sometimes it was dull and too quiet. The twins being there made a day of filing paperwork interesting. Ava overcame her nervousness and turned attention to Graham, spending most the morning asking him every question she could think of about his job and the people in town.

'Do you arrest a lot of people?' Nicholas asked, swinging legs. He sat on the edge of her desk while she worked, surprising Emma whenever he spoke.

'Not really.' She shrugged, gathering some papers beside him.

Signing a form and tucking it into a folder, she paused to glance at Nicholas. He was often quiet but not in a way of being upset or shy. Mary Margaret said he rarely spoke - Emma wondered why. The black-haired boy turned her stapler in his hands, staying close as if her company was all he needed.

She re-focused on her files when Ava stood curiously by her chair.

Graham approached with a maroon box – he opened it in front of her and Emma cringed. She could smell a bribe.

'Sometimes the clichés are true,' he said.

Nicholas stared wide-eyed at the baked temptations, discarding his interest in office supplies. Ava's green gaze lingered hungrily on the box, with more restraint than her brother.

'Okay.' Emma met the sheriff's gaze. 'What do you want?'

'Remember when I said no night shifts?' Graham asked. 'I need you to work tonight. Just this once.'

'Tonight?' Emma whined, glancing longingly at the bear claw pastry. 'I can't tonight; I've got plans.'

'And you can't get out of them?'

'No.' Emma sighed. 'I _really_ can't.'

She could but didn't want to.

When Graham was out on his morning rounds, she'd planned a movie night with the twins. Mary Margaret would be on a date with David, who'd moved into one of Granny's rooms after a long talk with Kathryn. If Emma cancelled her plans with Ava and Nicholas, there would be no one at the loft to watch them. She was trying to be responsible.

She'd already let Graham down, but her children came first. It cost her a bear claw, but the sheriff kindly shared his pastries with the kids – including Henry, who showed up to spend the afternoon with them.

Being a bail bondsperson was the longest job Emma ever had and she'd worked it alone. Watching Graham return to his office, she leaned back in her chair and made a decision. Leaving the triplets at the station under his supervision, Emma headed to the diner and ordered a big lunch. It was her apology to her new co-worker, and he accepted the free meal with a smile.

Sitting with her three kids as they munched grilled cheese sandwiches, Emma took a break from paperwork. She hung out with them and talked about her job whenever she and Graham weren't attending to duties.

~ T ~

Her first official day of motherhood went well, so Emma wasn't surprised when things drastically changed.

Stepping outside the apartment building, Emma tugged black sleeves of her shirt to combat the chilly night air.

She sighed, reminding herself she was just going to Granny's to pick up dinner. The twins were upstairs, behind a locked door, and bickering about which movie to watch when she returned. They'd survived on their own for years. It wasn't a comforting thought, but she knew they'd be okay in the loft while she fetched food.

'Here you go.' Granny smiled, handing her the takeaway bag.

Emma wasn't sure what she expected to happen when she'd found somewhere to stay in Storybrooke, but it was a strange place to live in. The nods of greeting received when she'd entered the diner caused realisation that, however temporary, she was becoming a town resident.

'Thanks.' Emma turned, catching sight of Sydney and Graham glaring at each other by the dartboard.

Heading to the door, she almost dropped the bag in shock - a dart whizzed by her face, sharply sticking into the wooden frame. She turned abruptly, stomach dropping to see Graham was mad at her. Emma tensed, guarding her emotions. Was this about the night shift or had she done something else to disappoint him? Making friends was not a skill she excelled at.

Balling a fist, Emma left the diner to avoid involvement in the drama. She had two kids waiting for her.

Graham didn't let her walk away that easily. He followed her outside and mentioned he was in a relationship with the mayor. Emma kept her head ducked, refusing to face any possibility why Graham's confession was supposed to impact her. She was annoyed it was Regina, and didn't want to imagine what went on with those two while Henry might be in the house, but Emma's heart didn't wander.

'It's your life and I really don't care,' she said, clutching the paper bag. She headed into the darkened streets, heart beating faster as she resisted the urge to run.

'If you don't care, then why are you so upset?' Graham caught up.

Emma had wanted to befriend her new co-worker. She was used to being alone but was trying to be a good role model for her kids. Her past and previous inability to want to connect with anyone wasn't the best example, but she was a mother and had to step up. Emma had to be her best self, whoever that person was, no matter how hard it was.

Graham being mad at her and keeping his relationship with Regina a secret - it did upset her.

'I'm not upset,' Emma lied.

If she was, she'd have to explain. She'd need to understand and put into words her own emotions and vulnerabilities – Emma couldn't remember how to do that. She wasn't about to open up to someone who was mad at her for reasons she couldn't name.

'If that were true, you'd be at a bar with me and not running away.' Graham appeared in front of her.

Emma caught a whiff of his breath; he was drunk.

'I'm not at a bar because I have two kids waiting for me and their dinner,' Emma argued, going around him. 'It's none of my business, really.'

'Can we please talk about this?' He grabbed her arm lightly, trying to slow her down. Emma was tempted to shove him away. 'I need you to understand.'

'Why?' Emma stopped, frowning at him.

'I don't know.' Graham faltered. 'Maybe so I can understand.'

Emma mentioned going to Archie for an analysis, but Graham wanted to talk to her. She wasn't far from the loft yet not near enough.

'Your bad judgement is your problem, not mine.' Emma hurried ahead, not surprised when he continued to follow.

She wasn't unsympathetic but why he was insistent on talking to her about whatever was or wasn't happening with Regina? Graham said she didn't know what it was like, not being able to feel anything. He asked if she could understand that, once again reaching for her arm to slow her determined strides.

Emma lied again; she said she knew about bad relationships, just didn't want to talk about his. Her heart said something else, which she hid behind emotional armour while increasing pace up the street. She didn't have romantic relationships, not letting anyone get close to her. Killian was the rare exception. Emma tried to focus on getting back to the twins. Graham babbled about his relationship issues she couldn't care less about, but she was upset.

Actually, she was furious.

Had Killian ever loved her or cared enough to consider what they had a real relationship? They went years without seeing each other, and the last time felt like a dream. If she hadn't gotten pregnant, Emma would be convinced she'd invented the entire last night they'd shared.

Her heart was at constant war.

Graham kissed her and Emma was too shocked to react right away.

She tasted whiskey and wished it was rum. His hands by her neck didn't fit right. Her eyes widened as senses returned, and Emma jerked back with enough force to place several feet between them. Tears were in her eyes as Graham's face came into view - all she could think was how he wasn't Killian. Their accents were similar, but Graham's blue eyes didn't remind her of the ocean or stormy skies. Maybe she'd have been interested in the sheriff if things were better between them, but Emma's fury came from deep inside.

Her heart wanted someone else and Killian wasn't there. He hadn't been for a very long time.

'What the hell was that?' Emma snapped.

'Did you see that?' Graham's desperation to talk had vanished. His eyes were wide and emotive as he glanced everywhere, seeing something more than the night sky and lit streets.

Emma kept hold of the brown bag, gathering composure the best she could. Simplifying what happened, she told herself Graham kissed her because he was drunk. He didn't like her – circumstances were stacked against him and he needed to reach out. It had nothing to do with her.

'How much have you been drinking?' Emma scowled, fighting the need to wipe the kiss from her lips. 'That was way over the line!'

'I'm sorry, I just...'

Emma squeezed her eyes shut, taking short breaths before facing him. She had to put a stop to this and return to the loft.

'You are drunk and full of regret. I get it.' Emma tucked her arms, stepping back. 'But whatever it is you are looking to feel, I can tell you one thing – you're not getting it with me.' She turned and crossed the street, relieved he'd finally given up chasing her.

Emma had stopped herself from telling Graham her heart belonged to someone else because it didn't. It couldn't. Whatever she felt for Killian, she wouldn't risk believing it was anywhere near real love because he never came back. He'd said they were a team. Emma was used to people disappearing from her life and wished Killian would also fade into depths of her past.

'You're back!' Nicholas hurried to greet her.

The boy's dark hair and brightly-blue eyes almost made her turn back around. A part of Killian would always be with her now and Emma had to overcome that. She thought she'd moved on years ago yet the hurt lingered. She wasn't sure she could actually face that every day.

'Did you pick a movie?' she asked, taking food out of the bag.

'No.' Ava huffed.

Mary Margaret might not approve of eating dinner in the living room with snacks and drinks, but it was a risk Emma was willing to take. Movie night was about her and the twins, nothing else.

No one else.

Movie arguments were diffused by allowing Ava and Nicholas to pick one each, then Emma flipped a coin to see which they'd watch first. A kid to either side, Emma relaxed into the couch and focused on the immediate situation.

They ate, laughed, and tossed popcorn.

Ava's movie choice was Mulan, which they got through without issue. Being in the company of her children was becoming natural, though dark clouds of hovering emotions and memories thickened the longer Emma remained on the couch.

'Is everything okay?' Ava nudged her.

'Yeah.' She forced a smile.

Emma tried hard to care about their movie night, but her mind was relentless in wandering back to Graham and Killian. She made excuses to get up – needing the bathroom or to refill popcorn. Her mood worsened, angry at herself for wasting another opportunity to bond with her kids and letting emotions get to her.

She breathed a sigh of relief when credits rolled on the screen.

'My turn.' Nicholas jumped up to grab his selected movie – 101 Dalmatians.

'I dunno...' Emma shifted in dread of sitting through another movie she couldn't care less about.

'Why not?' Ava asked. 'You said we could watch two.'

'It's getting late.' Emma glanced at the time.

'No, it's not.' The girl frowned, checking as well.

'It will be by the time the movie is finished,' Emma argued. 'You need a bedtime. If we watch another movie, it'll be past it.'

When she was close to their age, Emma's foster parents got into trouble for keeping her up too late at night. She couldn't be another bad example of a parent.

'A bedtime?' Ava crossed her arms. 'We don't need a bedtime. We didn't have one before, why would we have one now?'

'I could pick something else?' Nicholas asked softly, looking sadly at the movie in his hands.

'Look, I'm trying to do the right thing here.' Emma left the couch, purposefully not crossing her arms too. 'You need boundaries and rules. They're there to keep you safe.'

'We didn't before. We just had each other; we were fine without your help!' Ava glared, stomping up from the couch. 'Admit it, you just don't want to spend time with us.'

'That's not it.' Emma growled to herself by the counter.

Killian would have handled it better. When it mattered, he had infallible patience Emma could only pray for. Except, she was there and he wasn't.

Her doubt climbed higher – children need more than new clothes and three meals a day. What if she couldn't be the mother they deserved? She couldn't even figure out how to explain she wasn't in the mood to watch another movie and why they had to postpone it.

'Did I do something wrong?' Nicholas' voice was barely audible.

'No.' Emma turned, guilt slamming her chest. 'No, Nicholas – you didn't. I just...I know you haven't had a parent for a long time, but-'

Nicholas tossed the movie at a pile, knocking it over. He glared at Emma, shoving their emptied bowl of popcorn onto the floor. He left Emma stunned, as the ten-year-old stormed upstairs as if she'd said something horrible to him.

Ava was almost as furious, and followed her brother.

'What did I-?' Emma leaned a hand on the counter.

They needed love and reassurance and stability, but somehow she'd gotten it all mixed around. Her words would have fallen empty regardless – bedtimes and responsible parenting wasn't at the root of her mood.

She sank into the couch, grabbing the TV's remote to switch it off. Emma hung her head, forcing control over her emotions. It was Killian's fault – for promises made and kindness shown, only to vanish from her life when she'd needed him most. Tears heated her eyes. She'd spent each painful day in her cell, whispering apologies to her growing stomach, since learning there were three heartbeats.

Ten years later, she was still apologising.

The door clicked open. Emma startled, barely having time to brush aside tears when Mary Margaret entered with a wide smile. The woman blushed as she hung up her jacket, but enlightenment vanished when she saw Emma's hunched shoulders and a sullen look.

'Emma?' She looked around, then approached.

'I'm fine.' Emma wanted to hide in her own room, but would have to pass the kids' bedroom to get there. She'd rather face Mary Margaret's judgement than theirs.

'Oh, I didn't realise this is what _fine_ looked like,' Mary Margaret said sarcastically.

'How was your date with David?' Emma asked, dragging herself to the kitchen.

She considered making a hot cocoa, but glared at the toaster as if it caused all her problems. Growling, she shoved it across the counter, watching the toaster clatter loudly into the bin. Satisfied with the sound, Emma looked to Mary Margaret with a better grip on outward composure.

'It was wonderful.' Mary Margaret looked upwards. 'The restaurant was beautiful and he was so sweet. We're going out again next week.'

'Great,' Emma muttered.

Watched with a knowing look, Emma panicked. She needed to add small talk until it was safe to hide upstairs. She worried about Nicholas and hoped she hadn't upset him too much. In effort to avoid those thoughts, she threw any comment that came to mind. A remark about one-night-stands being as far as she ever went was regretted the moment it left Emma's mouth.

'Yeah, but that's because you're...' Mary Margaret quickly busied herself with adding a flower bouquet into a vase of water.

Emma headed to the table, but the schoolteacher kept her back turned. Dread filled her – vulnerability and self-doubt crashed back with merciless force. Mary Margaret was too nice a person to be entirely truthful with her opinions or judgements of others; the woman hadn't meant to say as much as she had.

Emma let Graham down by not taking the night shift he'd needed her to. She considered Mary Margaret her safety net of a friendship – the person she least expected to be judged or called out by.

She was wrong.

'Because I'm what?'

'Never mind.' Mary Margaret winced, averting eyes again. She placed the vase on the middle of the table.

The sting reminded her of something Regina said, accusing Emma of being incapable of feeling anything for anyone and that there was a reason she's alone.

'No, tell me.' Emma insisted. 'What do I do?'

She'd messed things up again. It always happened. Why would Storybrooke and motherhood be any different? Foster parents sent her back all the time and any attempts to make friends had ended badly. Emma wasn't a child anymore but some habits were hard to break.

What did she do wrong this time?

'Emma...' Mary Margaret hesitated. 'When was the last time you went on a date?'

'What?' She frowned, tightly crossing arms. 'What's _that_ got to do with anything? So what if it's...been a while?'

Mary Margaret's presence had a way of getting Emma to talk about things in ways she usually specifically avoided doing. It led to telling her about Graham's kiss and how Emma thought of a different man. She didn't like it, but the words spilled out.

'Another man?' Mary Margaret tilted her head. 'Their father?' She lowered her voice, glancing to the stairs.

'Maybe.' Emma grumbled. 'Tell me, what is it I do?'

'You're just protecting yourself.' Mary Margaret shrugged. 'With that wall you put up.'

'Just because I don't get emotional over men...' Emma paused, glancing at the stairs.

She thought she'd heard footsteps but the loft was quiet.

'You don't get emotional over men?' Mary Margaret scoffed, looking at her bin. 'The toaster abuse tells a different story. Was that for Graham or him?'

'I wasn't...' Emma looked away, fidgeting. 'Him. I don't have feelings for Graham.'

'Okay.' She nodded. 'But you do still have feelings for their father?'

'Come _on,_ ' Emma dismissed. 'It was _years_ ago.'

'There's that wall,' Mary Margaret said sadly.

'It's not a wall.' Emma couldn't even lie to herself. She had defences in place around her heart, trapping in emotions and the yearning to connect with someone.

She had to; when emotions escaped her, they came back damaged.

' _Really?_ ' Emma frowned at the look of disbelief she was given. 'There's nothing wrong with being cautious.'

'True.' She nodded. 'True. But, Emma, that wall of yours, it may keep out pain, but it may also keep out love. This isn't just about Graham or the past, but...'

'But what?'

'The kids.' Mary Margaret sighed, looking down. 'I've seen that wall before; Ava has it too. And Nicholas struggles to communicate with the world...'

Emma bit another wave of guilt. Mary Margaret wasn't blaming her, but Emma blamed herself twice as much as anyone.

Movies were scattered on the floor by the couch and an overturned popcorn bowl. She'd gotten caught in arguing with Ava that Emma overlooked Nicholas, forgetting he wasn't as outspoken or easy to read. Had he tried to communicate and she hadn't given him a chance?

'I suck at this.' Emma paced near the counter while Mary Margaret watched.

Frustration climbed. There were too many people and emotions involved, reminding why Emma preferred to be alone. She had to break the cycle of pushing people away, as she couldn't do that to Ava and Nicholas. Or Henry.

'Ava's right.' She frowned. 'They survived three years without me and I'm not making it much better.'

'I didn't mean it.' Ava stood teary-eyed, mid-way down the stairs.

Before Emma could determine a reply, the blonde girl looped arms around her middle. Holding her daughter close made everything a bit better. It was easier to breathe knowing Ava didn't hate her.

With cursed timing, Emma pulled back to check her phone and see who was calling. Henry's excited voice babbled about Graham starting to remember. Emma worried; the man was drunk and looked around as if he was losing it. Movie night cut short and emotions running high, Emma went to find the sheriff.

Whatever a peaceful night in Storybrooke looked like, she was yet to have one.

* * *

Aside from a fight with Regina at the cemetery, Emma got Graham back to the sheriff station without much drama. He was tired and feverish. And heartbroken, but the medical kit didn't have anything for that.

Her split eyebrow was the least of their problems.

No longer in a rush to return to the loft, Emma had a better understanding of what he was saying. She liked things easy and safe – not feeling anything was an attractive option when what she felt sucked. Graham knew too, but he was braver.

Recalling Mary Margaret's words about her wall, Emma was conflicted. She didn't want to keep out love, but doubted the risk was worth it. Graham tended to the cut over her eye and Emma felt something. It didn't compare to the way Killian made her heart race by simply saying her name, but she didn't flee either.

Emma wanted to feel something, so she kissed Graham. It wasn't a bad kiss, yet she instantly knew her walls weren't entirely what placed distance between them. His lips didn't feel right against hers.

The kiss was short, as he stumbled backwards to sit on a desk.

'Graham?' Emma quickly drew in a breath. 'Are you okay?'

He looked at her with such shock and awe that Emma didn't know how to react.

'I remember,' he whispered.

New doubts bothered her, and Henry's voice about the curse was in her head.

'You remember what?' She had to ask.

'The forest. The wolf.' A tear slid down his cheek. He smiled at her, making Emma uncomfortable and confused. 'My heart - she took it. She wanted me to kill Snow White and I didn't.'

'Graham, you're not making sense.' Emma approached but kept her guard up. 'You heard that from Henry, remember? When you talked to him earlier.'

'No.' Graham shook his head. 'I remember when it happened. I-'

Air was choked from him. Graham collapsed and hit a desk with such force Emma instinctively stepped back.

He fell on his side and didn't move.

'Graham!' she yelled, dropping to the floor. 'Graham? Graham!' She repeated his name, shaking him and trying not to panic.

Her vision blurred with tears. Emma fought harder, her mind rushing through possibilities of what caused his collapse. She came up with nothing.

'Okay. Okay.' Emma tried to calm herself, listening close to his chest. 'Graham!'

There was no breath and no heartbeat. He didn't move or breathe; everything stopped and there was no denying his life had as well.

'Come on, Graham!' Emma clenched his clothes in fists. She shook him, resolve crumbling into the blackness of truth. 'Graham.'

A sob ripped through her throat and chest after speaking his name one last time. Her own breathing staggering, Emma cradled his head on her lap as tears rained her face. There was enough clarity to call an ambulance, which would confirm the lifelessness of a man she'd just kissed.

They all left her.

An hour passed before Emma could leave the station. It was a blur until she staggered up the stairs into the loft. At least she had somewhere to go.

'The kids are asleep-' Mary Margaret halted in the kitchen.

Emma was shaking and her eyes were puffy. Graham's death hit her harder than she'd thought it could. She'd kissed him and he died in her arms. Another sob shuddered through – experiences of her childhood enabled her to do that silently. Emma slowly sank to her knees. Harsh realities closed in, smothering her with a cloud of despair.

'Oh, Emma.' Mary Margaret's voice murmured softly in her ear.

Warm arms wrapped her. Words were unclear, and Emma was unable to find her own to explain what happened, but Mary Margaret offered comfort.

Killian disappeared.

Neal abandoned her.

Graham was dead.

Each time was worst than the last. Emma won't repeat mistakes; her children were the only ones she'd let near her heart again.

Except one other. Emma leaned to Mary Margaret's shoulder. For all mistakes she'd made and the coldness of a world against her, she finally had a friend she could rely on. It used to be Killian, and sometimes Corey, but Mary Margaret was who Emma needed that night. She was hurting and heartbroken again, but safe in the arms of her concerned friend.

It was how Emma imagined being hugged by a mother would feel like.

* * *

 _Review?_


	6. Stalemate

_Thank you to everyone who is still reading and enjoying this story. I value every review, favourite, follow and view!_

* * *

 **~ Stalemate ~**

Emma barely spent any time with her kids since Graham's funeral. They went to school and she buried herself in work – often staying late at the station on weekends, leaving Mary Margaret to watch Ava and Nicholas.

The final parental custody forms weighed heavily on Emma's mind. They were tucked away in a secure drawer of her office like a well-kept secret. Graham's death hit Henry pretty hard too. She tried to comfort him as Mary Margaret had done for her, but Emma doubted she'd ever measure up.

She leaned in her chair, eyes trailing the enclosed room that came with her new position of authority. The title of Sheriff seemed silly when she had no deputies or partners to boss around. Emma wanted to bring the twins with her on weekends, but was afraid. Their movie night two weeks ago showed how easily a wrong word or gesture could hurt them. The event of Graham's death refocused everyone's attention; the conflict from that night, between her and the twins, all but vanished.

Emma wasn't going to sign those forms until she was certain she could be a mother.

Exhausted, Emma left work early in preference of falling asleep on the loft couch rather than at her desk. School was finished for the day, but the apartment was empty. She paused by the table, smiling at large papers scattered there. Her three kids gave their full support when she'd run for sheriff. She loved watching them sit at the table, making campaign posters and chatting together as if they were normal siblings.

It wasn't enough to overpower Emma's self-doubt and fear of failing them.

Groaning, she got out her phone to glare at it. She'd left the station but was never really off-duty. Mr Clark jolted Emma from her tired mood, informing her that her kids were caught stealing.

'I'll be right there.' Snatching her jacket, she hurried from the loft - heart racing and dread climbing.

The Dark Star Pharmacy was well-known in town, but Emma never imagined she'd visit it because her children tried to rob the place. Making matters worst, the first thing she saw was Regina's disapproval while leading Henry to the door.

'...And he knows better than to steal. It was obviously those two. It's unfortunate that not all children receive the proper guidance to teach them right from wrong,' Regina was saying, and her darkened eyes lifted to meet Emma's frown. 'Miss Swan.' She smirked in greeting.

Faced with Henry's saddened face, Emma forced herself to remain civil. She wasn't going to fight the mayor in front of the children. It was tempting, with Regina mocking her parenting skills – or lack thereof.

'You okay?' Emma asked Henry instead, who averted his eyes to the floor.

'Miss Swan, must I remind you that genetics mean nothing? You're _not_ his mother,' Regina said, smirk gone. 'Why don't you focus your attention where it should be?' She glanced over her shoulder at Ava and Nicholas.

Regina left the store with Henry dragging his feet behind her. Emma hated how cold she was, yet Regina was still outdoing her as a parent. She reminded herself Regina had ten years of experience and Emma's hardly known her kids for two weeks. It didn't change her shame of being called to the pharmacy because they were caught stealing.

Her annoyance grew, with how adamantly unapologetic Ava and Nicholas were.

Mr Clark implied it wasn't their first incident in his store, and they'd almost succeeded this time by using Henry's bag instead of their own. Being homeless for three years meant doing what was necessary to survive, but candy bars and a silver wind-chime weren't items of necessity.

'What are you doing?' Emma sighed, frowning at the twins.

'Getting your attention,' Ava replied. She raised her chin defiantly, her green eyes mirroring Emma's.

'This is serious, Ava,' she said.

'Are you going to arrest us?' The girl's voice wavered and eyes lowered.

Nicholas fidgeted and wouldn't meet anyone's gaze.

They hadn't thought it through.

Emma considered the counter and Mr Clark, debating how to handle the situation. It'd been two years since she'd stolen something that could land her back in jail, and now Emma stood in the position of an enforcer of the law. She couldn't let her kids make the same mistakes. What if they ended up like her? Emma was a thief, but so were Neal and Killian. If genetics played any part, had she failed them before they ever had a chance?

After everything she'd been through, Emma had to believe a person chooses their own destiny. Her parents left her on the side of a road as a baby. Killian's father abandoned his sons on a ship at sea, forcing them into a life of slavery. She had to be better. Killian already was – making his absence further unfair.

'This won't happen again,' she promised Mr Clark, who sneezed into a tissue.

'I hope not,' he said, but nodded as she paid for the items. 'I didn't know they were homeless. I guess – achoo! - some habits are hard to break. It's good they've got you to set them straight.'

Emma sternly sent the kids outside. Neither could look at her, staying silent in the back seat of the police car on the drive to the loft. She wished Mary Margaret wasn't out with David; having backup would've helped her nerves. This was real parent stuff.

The kids' rebellious confidence vanished as Emma stood over them with hands on her hips. Nicholas couldn't sit still. Ava fixed eyes on her shoes.

Memory of their movie night resurfaced. Emma was determined to handle this better, despite glaring differences. Experience taught her there was always a reason for a child acting out. If she caused this, she had to put a stop to it as soon as possible.

Next time, Mr Clark might not be sympathetic.

'Why did you do this?' Emma sat on the coffee table. 'You _know_ right from wrong. You took that risk for some candy bars and a wind-chime - explain that to me.'

'It had to be big so you'd notice,' Ava said, head ducked. 'We wanted to get your attention.'

'By stealing?' Emma shook her head. 'That is _not_ the way. I've been there, okay? Believe me, you do not want to go there.'

'I know.' Ava looked up, tearful. 'Henry told us. You went to jail and had us.'

'Is it true?' Nicholas asked. 'We were born in jail?'

'Yes.' Emma glanced away, emotions caged in her chest. 'Look, I get it. A lot of things have changed and I've been working a lot. I'll get better at this _mum thing_ , okay?'

'We just want you here,' Ava said quietly.

They wanted to get to know her. But unlike Henry, she was their mother full-time. Emma was the one who cooked their meals and said goodnight at the end of each day. There was a shift in that moment. Both kids stared sadly until Emma stopped seeing the babies she'd given away - and saw reflections of herself and Killian. Their actions in the store weren't complex or foreboding; Ava and Nicholas were crying out for a home of their own and for their mother to be there.

'Okay.' Emma nodded. 'I can do that.'

~ T ~

The next day was Saturday and Emma took the twins to work with her.

Graham's death brought an abnormal silence to the station that Emma hated every minute of. The clock ticked louder than shuffled papers, and the room seemed to grow with its emptiness. Emma could only admit it to herself, but she was lonely there by herself.

She'd expected to enjoy the peace and focus on her job, and instead found herself looking forward to nightly phone calls or bickering with Leroy on the mornings he slept off a hangover in his cell. Despite the suffocating isolation, Emma endured in for two weeks – working as much as possible because going home to her kids was harder to face than the absence Graham left behind.

'Can we have our own desks?' Ava grinned, as Nicholas ran ahead into the station.

'Uh, sure.' Emma nodded, hanging up her jacket.

The twins had fun choosing their own desks and pretending to be her new deputies. Ava even got to answer the phone a few times. It wasn't a day of bonding, as their movie night was intended to be, but Emma enjoyed their company while she did paperwork and sorted files.

'Boots ran away again.' Nicholas sighed, looking at a poster for a missing ginger cat.

'Some things never change.' Emma shrugged, glad she decided to leave her office to work and effectively spend time with them.

'Should we cook?' Ava asked, standing by Emma to watch her work.

Mary Margaret and David were officially dating. The loft offered them privacy where Granny's diner did not, so Mary Margaret was having him over for dinner. She was convinced Regina was always watching and cursing things from going well – Emma couldn't disagree, as it was no secret the mayor didn't like the couple being together. This dinner was important to Mary Margaret and David. Making Regina unhappy was all the more reason for Emma to give the couple her full support.

It also lifted Henry's spirits; he was convinced that Mary Margaret and David being together was a good sign for Operation Cobra.

'It's not a real special date if they cook their own food,' Ava said. 'Is it?'

'Maybe.' Emma considered. 'Some people like having their date cook for them.' She shrugged.

'What is a date?' Nicholas asked, hopping onto the corner of her desk.

Her sons had an aversion to chairs. Emma would make mental note of every new discovery. Ava hated hats, Henry loved comic books, and Nicholas could tie his shoes so fast it should be an Olympic sport.

'A date is...' Emma closed her eyes, searching her memories for the last date she'd been on that could fit a proper definition.

She remembered the flickering candles, gentle rock of the ship beneath her feet, and the scent of a soft, vibrantly blue rose touching her cheek. It took years to reach that point, and once they had there was no turning back. The night the triplets were conceived wasn't the best example.

Emma sighed, glancing at her curious kids. She'd pick another option, but her memories of Killian were mostly blurred.

Neal would have to do.

'A date can be a lot of things. It's usually when two people do something fun or romantic together.' Emma winced at her wording. 'They pick a time and place to...Uh, it's just a shared moment that's special to them.'

'It sounds nice,' Ava said.

Glancing at the time, Emma gathered the last of her files. Her phone rang, and Ava held it up so she could read the caller ID.

'What happened?' she asked, answering. Emma handed half of her paper pile to a kid each, which they carried to her office.

'What?' Corey's voice sounded surprised. 'Does something have to be wrong for me to call you?'

'Yes. I know you.' Emma sat on the desk's edge. 'You never call me this much. What's the big deal about me being in Storybrooke?'

'I hadn't heard from you since that text about Graham - not that it was anything to go by. And you're Sheriff now? I could hardly believe any of it,' Corey said. 'But I wanted to check in. Did you sign those forms?'

'No.' Emma cringed.

Ava sat nearby, spinning the chair. Nicholas stood by Emma, watching her curiously.

'It's been long enough, tick tock. But things are okay?' Corey asked. 'You and the kids.'

'Fine,' she lied. It wasn't bad, but she won't tell Corey about the theft or how little progress she'd made as a mother. He'd be disappointed. 'They're right here. I'll put you on speaker.'

'Hello!' Corey's voice erupted from the phone, as if volume defined his enthusiasm. 'Ava and Nicholas, right?'

'He's a friend, who really quickly arranged for you both to come live with me,' Emma said. She placed the phone on the desk, and crossed her arms uncomfortably.

'Hello,' Ava replied, staring at her shoes. The girl squared her shoulders and picked up the phone. 'Thanks for helping us. What's your name?'

'Corey,' he replied. 'Cool name, right?'

'Not really,' Nicholas muttered.

Having moved to Storybrooke changed Emma's view on a lot of things. Befriending Mary Margaret, Ruby, David, and a few others made her realise how things with Corey were less than ideal. He was all she had for a long time, but she was never comfortable with him changing his surname to match hers. He called himself her brother but she struggled to think of it more than just a word rather than a title. He wasn't her family.

Corey was a friend who wasn't exempt from the list of people who were there one day and gone the next.

'Hey.' Henry walked in, wincing when realising they were on the phone.

'We gotta go,' Emma snatched the phone.

'Okay. Stay cool kids!' Corey called out, and Emma hung up.

Ava waved to greet her brother.

'Hi.' Henry frowned. 'Who was that?'

'Just a friend.' Emma shrugged. 'Hey, kid.'

He kept eyes trained on the ground, moving to stand with Nicholas. Something bothered Henry enough to seek them out despite knowing they had to be at the loft soon to prepare for Mary Margaret and David's dinner date. Emma wasn't sure how to approach her son; she'd shut off a lot of emotions since the funeral.

'What's wrong?' Nicholas nudged his brother.

'This sucks.' Henry sighed. 'I miss everything – movie nights, family dinners, all the stories...' He glanced where Emma's phone was.

'At least you have your own room,' Ava said.

'And you don't have to use girl shampoo all the time,' Nicholas added, rolling his eyes to encourage a smile from Henry. 'I smell like a fruit basket.'

The kids laughed, and Emma gave the station a final glance in preparation to close up for the night.

'Henry?' she prompted.

'Oh.' He glanced at her, lightly biting his bottom lip. 'Yeah. I just wanted to ask you something.'

Whatever it was, Henry was anxious. This was the kid who rode a bus alone all the way to Boston to meet his birth mother. The same boy who went into a dangerous mine in search of clues to a curse no one else believed in. For all possibilities racing through her mind, Emma hadn't considered the most important question of all.

'Can you tell us about him?' Henry asked, chin raised to meet her similarly green eyes. 'Our father. I told you about your parents and now, you're even living with your mum.'

Emma ducked her head in case her eyes revealed too much. She was trying not to think about Killian, and Henry caught her off-guard. She should have expected this. Ava and Henry gave her rapt attention, gazes honest in their hopeful vulnerability. Nicholas wasn't as keen – looking almost afraid of what she might say.

What could she possibly say? Emma flushed in new layers of guilt as she considered lying.

'Please?' Henry added. 'I really want to know.'

'Me too,' Ava whispered.

Every instinct screamed at Emma that this was a moment she couldn't ignore. If she told them the truth, something would come of it.

The trust and yearning in their eyes broke her urge to protect them from disappointment. Each child reminded her so much of him. The Killian she knew wasn't a man to be disappointed by or afraid of. He wasn't Neal, who sent her to jail for a crime he'd committed. Killian was a man of honour and good form. Emma had an opportunities to atone for some of the guilt she hoarded for giving their babies away – for not being as good, strong or capable as he surely would have in her place.

'Your father...' Emma backed to sit on the desk behind her.

They met in a field at night – two children escaping the suffocation of harsh realities that chased them. They were teenagers when running through cobbled alleyways with a thieved meal clutched in hands, laughing with glee at their successful teamwork. There were secret smiles and kisses, a huge ballroom of twinkling lights, and then a place so dark their only light was their faith in each other.

All those good memories Emma clung to, yet struggled to spare a few words to tell their children about a man who was so much more. A lonely little boy became an honourable Navy Lieutenant – a man any child would be proud to call their father.

'I was pretty young,' Emma began. 'Though I only saw him a bunch of times, I've known him most of my life. When I got out of the foster system, your dad...He'd just been made Lieutenant in the Navy. It was a huge accomplishment for a teenager. His brother, your uncle, was the captain of their ship.'

'Did you get married?' Henry asked.

'Oh, no.' Emma chuckled at his innocence. 'Nothing like that. We just...I don't know. We didn't see each other often and when we did...We just hung out. Then, I guess, life happened. And I got in some trouble.'

'And you went to jail,' Henry said, as he and Ave looked away.

'Yeah.' Emma glanced at Nicholas' blue eyes, which didn't blink in his effort to catch every word.

Emotions threatened to spill into her voice.

She'd leave out Neal's existence, but how could she explain that their father vanished from her life before ever knowing he was a father? Henry found her and went all the way to Boston to meet her – what would stop him from doing the same with Killian? She was incapable of stomaching the lie, if she told them he'd died. A half-truth might be easier to swallow.

Perhaps he'd left on his ship one morning and never returned.

'Did he know?' Ava asked quietly. 'About us?'

'No,' Emma admitted, forcing down more guilt. 'He...I tried to contact him when I found out I was pregnant with you.' Sadness mounted in her chest, this time on his behalf, as she smiled at the three beautiful kids Killian would never know.

She was trying to make up for the ten years of their lives she'd missed, but Killian didn't even know they existed. He was just gone. It seemed impossible, that she could find a way to tell their children how their father was a man of honour yet disappeared from their lives without even a goodbye.

'Is he dead too?' Ava asked.

Her daughter's watery, green eyes sealed Emma's decision. Killian wasn't another dead parent like Dory and Michael Tillman. He and the kids deserved better.

'I don't know.' Emma looked to her lap, clasping her hands around her phone. 'I never saw him again. No one did.'

Ave brushed aside a tear.

The darkening station fell silent as the moment washed over them. The lies were minimal and Emma kept herself together. The raw ache of reminders and abandonment were kept at bay by sheer determination – her kids won't be left wondering where they came from.

'Do you have anything of his? Something you can remember him by,' Henry asked. 'Something we could see.'

'I...' Emma frowned and slowly stood, steadying her breathing. She looked to the sheriff's office where boxes were stacked in a corner. 'I do.'

She'd forgotten. There was a box she had to remember moments in her past significant to the person she'd become. Emma shifted through small keepsakes, kept in tribute to those lost of connected to the mystery of her own beginnings. One item she valued above everything else.

The triplets gathered around her. Emma dug deeper in cardboard packing boxes for a tattered shoebox. Brushing a hand over it, she drew in a quick breath – and popped off the lid.

'A compass?' Henry tilted his head curiously.

'Yeah.' Emma stared at the unmoving needle. 'The last night we...The night I became pregnant with you, your dad gave me this.'

Ava was closest. Emma placed it on her daughter's palm, watching as they kids passed the compass around. She didn't explain further, and neither did they ask. There was a shift in the air, exposed by the physical evidence of Killian's existence.

Then Henry talked about their grandparents – Snow White and Prince Charming.

Ava rolled her eyes, handing the compass back to Emma. Nicholas hadn't said a word, but patiently listened to his brother talk about Operation Cobra while Emma led them out and locked up the station. There was still time to get the loft ready for Mary Margaret's special dinner with David.

Emma brushed her thumb over the compass, then tucked it into her jacket pocket.

'Is there really a curse?' Ave asked quietly, as the boys walked ahead to the police car.

'I don't know, kid.' Emma sighed. 'Henry really believe it. Who knows, maybe it is true?'

'I don't think so.' Ava shook her head. 'The real world doesn't have happy endings.'

Thunder rumbled above. Stars and the moon vanished behind the blackness of an approaching storm. She nudged Ava to the car. Rain never came, but the thundering sky grew louder as Emma drove Henry home. She returned to the loft with Ava and Nicholas. They hurried to set the table, while she stood by a window and wished for a view of the ocean.

* * *

Emma left her yellow bug, pausing to look at the grey and gloomy streets of Storybrooke. She'd had all night to think about it.

She headed into the building's lobby, not slowing to allow her kids to catch up. They were as nervous as she was. Everything would change now, and it didn't matter if she was ready or still questioned if she had the strength to go through with signing the forms.

Mary Margaret and David's dinner went well – lots of talking and laughter. Emma sat upstairs in the kids' room, playing cards with them to pass time. Nicholas was fascinated by the rain, often at their window to watch the storm reach the small town.

That night, Emma felt like a real mother. They talked about Killian and the twins said they understood why she gave them up. They knew, as Henry did, that all she wanted was for them to have their best chance.

'I'm glad we're together now,' Ava had told her. 'And we don't ever have to leave, right?'

'Right,' she'd said. 'Just a few forms I need to sign, then you're stuck with me for life.'

They laughed, discussed names, and stacked cards as if it was always the plan. Was she more afraid of keeping her kids or losing them?

Nicholas gave up on his poor card-shuffling skills and went downstairs to call Henry. Ava jumped up to hug Emma for all their family was worth. Tears flowed freely as Emma clung to her ten-year-old daughter. She knew in her hear that Killian would want her to raise their children to be better than their parents could've dreamed of.

And that's when everything became clear.

That's what led her to the counter she was at now, fidgeting with nervousness as the clerk retrieved the final custody forms she had to sign. Emma tucked a hand into her pocket to hold the compass. In the waiting room behind her, the triplets sat chattering and unable to sit still. They were excited, but eyes were wide with apprehension.

She never wanted to let them out of her sight again.

'Here you go.' The clerk placed three forms on the desk.

Emma's breath caught in her throat. 'Uh...'She tried to speak, swallowing razor pain of regret. 'Henry Mills is adopted. I can't...'

'Oh, sorry ma'am.' The man took the middle form back. 'They were in the same file, I-'

'Okay,' Emma dismissed. 'Okay,' she said again, as the clerk gave her space.

She lifted the first form – Ava's.

The room was so cold when she'd given birth. Ava's cry was the life-altering sound of reality flooding back. Her daughter's birth changed Emma in that instant. She still didn't know the new Emma that she'd become, but another layer was added as she signed her name at the bottom of the form.

With Henry's file retracted, she reached for the third form. Her third baby – Nicholas.

His blue eyes were as bright then as they were now, but his personality shone in ways waiting to be discovered that she couldn't see before. Time was given back to them.

Emma signed the last form, and felt she was going to be sick.

'Congratulations.' The clerk smiled.

She withheld a sob threatening to unravel her. Emma turned to catch three kids smothering her with hugs and happiness. Henry's situation couldn't be legally shifted, but he was there for moral support. Regardless of any forms, he was as much a part of their family as his siblings.

'I'm sorry you're not coming home with us too,' Ava said to him.

'It's okay.' Henry ducked his head. 'I'm happy for you.'

'This is it.' Emma breathed. 'It's official. A happy beginning.' She glanced at Ava, who's smile widened.

'Did you change our names too?' the girl checked.

'I did. You're Ava Hope Swan.' Emma placed a hand on her daughter's shoulder. 'And you're Nicholas Liam Swan.' She rested the other on her son's back, pulling him close for another hug.

Everyone was crying – even Emma, who realised the fight was futile.

The small family returned to the soggy streets, walking to Granny's for a celebration lunch. Emma let them order whatever they wanted, and Henry made a Navy hat out of newspaper. He wore it proudly, which prompted fresh tears from Emma.

It was late in the afternoon when they finally left the diner. Ava halted by the yellow bug, shoulders squared as she faced Emma with a stern look. The boys stopped, and Henry adjusted his paper hat to keep it atop his brown hair.

'I want to find our father.' Ava's words hit Emma like a sack of cement.

It was a demand, question, and plea all twisted into six words. Her daughter's green eyes were fierce with unwavering determination. Ava may greatly resemble Emma, but in that moment she bore all of Killian's honour and unshakeable faith in the impossible.

An engine rumbled, and the group turned. A motorcycle drove round a corner and parked across their street. A man removed his helmet and Emma's eyebrows raised with recognition, more surprised by his haircut than anything else.

'Hey.' August stopped in front of them.

'Hey,' she returned.

'Is this Storybrooke?' he asked.

'Yeah.' Emma replied on auto-pilot. The triplets stared at their unexpected company.

'Any place to get a room around here?'

'You're staying?' Henry drew Emma and August's attention to himself. 'In town?'

'That's the plan.' August nodded. 'Just looking for a bed.'

Emma gave directions, pointing and detailing while her mind caught up. He thanked her and she had to make sure.

'You're August?'

'I am.' He smiled. 'You remember?'

'You're a friend of Corey's.' Emma frowned.

'It's always good to make an impression, but that's not what I meant.' August looked at Henry. 'See you soon.'

He walked back to his bike. Revving it, he gave Emma a final glance then drove up the road she'd indicated to. His parting words carries a clue or message she'd long forgotten the purpose of.

Either that or she'd finally gone crazy.

'You really are changing things,' Nicholas said.

'Yeah.' Emma frowned, turning to Henry. 'Wait. I thought you said strangers don't come to Storybrooke.'

'They don't.' Henry's eyes widened with intrigue, moving around her to watch August disappear from view.

'A mystery for another day.' Emma sighed.

Henry had to go back to Regina, but Ava and Nicholas were hers – even by name. She ushered the kids into the car, turning her head in the direction of the ocean. Emma couldn't see the watery horizon, but somewhere beyond it was Killian Jones and his ship. But right there, in arms reach, where their children.

Legal or not, she was the mother of three incredible kids. It was her job to fight for their happiness, to hell with laws or Regina. She couldn't take Henry, but she'd be damned if he missed out on her love and protection because a stack of papers said she only had two children.

Ava wanted to find him.

If the day ever came for Emma to face Killian again, she needed to honestly say she'd done everything she could to give their three babies their best chance – the same chance Emma and Killian were sourly robbed of during their own childhoods.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** Many of you have wondered Killian (where he is, if he's different, etc) and I assure you he's a very big part of this story. He will reunite with Emma and meet their children. I hope you're looking forward to it as much as I am. Feedback is, as always, appreciated and helpful.

 **Important:** _Some of you have also asked about my other two OUAT stories. Updates are delayed due to personal issues I'm trying to deal with. Having prepared this story for over a year, it's much easier to consistently write and edit regardless of what's is going on. I ask for your patience as I deal with hard times._


	7. The Search Begins

_If this is your first time reading The Way Home, you can skip the note below._

 **Author's Note:** I've revamped everything, so please go re-read up to this point before proceeding. I'll get to my other stories eventually, but for now this one is my focus. The video is also being updated; I'll let you know when the new version's released. Enjoy!

* * *

 **~ The Search Begins ~**

Emma checked the table again, adjusting the space between the two bowls and spoons. She placed the carton of milk, and smiled at the box of Jolly Gems acting as the centrepiece. Such a mundane task, but this was a big moment. This was the start of everything that terrified and excited her in this new stage of her life.

Exhaling a long breath, she marched up the stairs of the loft – and knocked on the bedroom door. No answer. Emma peered inside, heart warming at the sight of her twins sprawled under their shared blanket. She wanted to capture this perfect moment forever.

'Time to get up,' she said loudly, crossing the room to peel open curtains.

Ava groaned, rolling to face the wall in effort to shield herself from sunshine. Nicholas sat sleepily, and it took everything Emma had not to laugh at his tousled mop of dark hair. He glared at her anyway, and rubbed eyes with sluggish motions.

'Get dressed. Gonna have to be cereal today because you slept in,' Emma said, glancing to a shelf of Ava's books where they'd placed their inactive alarm clock.

The twins insisted they hadn't been late to school when living on their own and still didn't need help waking up. The situation had drastically changed since then but instead of arguing the matter, Emma let the kids disprove their own words.

'If I have to come back in ten minutes and someone's still in bed, I'll be using water.'

'You wouldn't!' Nicholas gasped, blue eyes wide in horror.

Emma smirked and headed downstairs. Pleased with her bluff, she was confident of getting the kids ready for school in time. In the earlier days, they were careful and unsure – able to get to the bus without delay. They'd since settled and gotten comfortable in their new routine, then her increased involvement. Awkwardness and fear faded.

Emma sipped her coffee, thinking fondly of the progress so far. There was a long way to go, but she'd fully accepted her role as their mother. It was exhausting, but became more than ever thought it could be.

She was a mum now; Emma said it aloud in front of the mirror at least three times that morning.

'Yes!' Nicholas grinned, dropping into his seat at the table. 'You got the triangles ones. You're the best!' He tore open the cereal box, hair still a mess.

The smile lingered on Emma's lips as she nodded with pride. Remembering her son's favourite cereal was a small victory – there wasn't a lot of those lately, so she counted every one.

'Oh, thanks,' Ava added, pausing to grab the clean school sweater from the back of her chair. 'You got the paint out?'

'Good as new.' Emma nodded, resisting a shudder.

It took a long time the night before, sitting on the bathroom floor to scrub every coloured stain from the sweater. Mary Margaret dug a seemingly-magical cleaner out of a cupboard, saving Emma from the torture and an inevitable hatred of paint.

Emptied bowls and coffee mug in the kitchen sink, Emma made sure the twins had packed lunches then led them out the door. Mary Margaret also knew that a packed lunch was supposed to look like – another motherly thing Emma learned to do. Her morning routine used to be a shower, coffee, breakfast if she had time, making sure she had her leather jacket and keys, then heading off to work. It'd become specific breakfast choices, being a human alarm clock, emergency-washed sweaters, packed lunches, and making sure homework went with each child.

The extra time and effort was worth it, when the kids made it to school on time with everything they needed. Those final parental rights forms had given Emma the firm nudge she needed, in a way giving birth hadn't. She'd always been their mother, but now she was their mum. The adjustment was supposed to be hard and terrifying – in many ways it was, but Emma took it with stride.

She was determined not to mess this up.

'Go everything?' She turned in the driver's seat, having parked the police car outside the school. Some doubt remained.

'Yeah.' Ava nodded, opening the door.

'See you later,' Emma said. 'Uh, have a good day.'

The twins slid across the back seat without a glance at her, their attention aimed to Henry waving near the bike racks.

'Bye, Emma!' Ava called over her shoulder, slamming the door.

Confidence slumped, she leaned back to watch the twins leave. Henry babbled rapidly as they ran to him, grin wide and arms enthusiastic. The three kids rushed into the school building, vanishing from sight.

Emma gripped the steering wheel. Ava was adamant about finding their father, with an added declaration that he would never abandoned them. There was heaviness in Ava's words, making it clear they were going to find him with or without her help. Henry had already done exactly that with her, so Emma didn't doubt Ava.

What rattled Emma was the truth in her daughter's words. Without explanation, Killian vanished from her life. Pain and absence lingered, even as she'd tried to let him go and move on with her life. He didn't know about their children and Killian was not the sort of man who would ever abandon his own child. It was important for any child to understand where he or she came from. Emma doubted she'd get her own closure, but the triplets deserved to know their father. Killian Jones was unfinished business. Emma had to try again.

Maybe this time would be different.

A search like that needed the right breakfast, so Emma headed to Granny's diner for grilled cheese. She should call Corey, who also had a knack for uncovering information people wanted to keep buried. He'd worked with Gold to restore her parental custody faster than any legal process generally allowed. Sipping her to-go mug of hot cocoa, she bumped into August.

'Morning.' He stayed in her path.

'Morning,' Emma repeated, lightly biting her burned lip.

'I was hoping to bump into you. Not literally,' August said, amused. 'We should catch up. Are you free after work?'

'Uh, no.' She shook her head. 'I've got plans to storm a castle,' Emma joked, keeping grip on both her phone and the take-away bag.

'That sounds fun.' August chuckled. 'What about Valentine's Day?'

'I...What about it?' Emma swallowed, ducking her gaze.

'Do you have any plans for that?' he asked. 'I'll even throw in an offer to pay if you want to catch up over a meal. It's been a while since we talked.'

'I do have plans.' Emma nodded. 'I'm spending the entire day with my two kids – what could be better than that?'

'Three kids?' August said with a knowing smile. 'Another time, then. How about you give me a call when you have an empty hour in that busy schedule of yours?' He slipped her phone from her hand and put his number in the contact list.

Emma frowned as he walked by her to enter the diner. How did he know she'd deleted his number from her phone last year? Corey must have mentioned it. Whatever August wanted to catch up about would have to wait. Emma headed to work, praying she'd have free time to work out where to begin looking for a man she hadn't seen in over ten years.

~ T ~

The recent storm caused a mess in Storybrooke. With clean-up and repairs still ongoing, Emma's wish for minimal sheriff duties was another dose of wasted optimism. She barely made it in time to pick the kids up after school, having promised Henry they'd go to the castle together.

Parking off-road, Emma was enticed by the sea-view. Looking through the windshield with a heavy heart, her eyes followed oceanic waves drawing memories of her days with Killian.

She even missed Liam's ship.

Henry was the first out the car, throwing open the door behind her. 'No!' he yelled, running to the crumbled remains of the wooden castle. 'The storm!'

Nicholas ran after his brother, tugging his red beanie to stop it falling off his head. Ava slowly slid across the back seat, keeping pace with Emma. The girl fussed with her sweater buttons to combat the cool weather. Emma adjusted her own jacket, and pulled gloves tighter around her fingers.

'It's okay,' Emma said. She joined where the boys searched around what was left of the playground. 'We can fix it. I'll talk to Marco.'

'Do you think it's still here?' Henry turned to his brother.

'Where did you put it?' Nicholas asked.

Ava sighed, crossing arm to hug warmth to herself.

'What are you looking for?' Emma frowned.

'My book.' Henry dropped to his knees.

Nicholas and Henry dug sand together with their gloves. Emma cringed; she'd barely remembered to buy the twins winter clothes in time for the cold season's fast approach. She should've gotten double of everything. She'd go back to the store in the morning to fix her lack of foresight.

'Why did you bury it here?'

'So Regina doesn't find it,' Henry replied.

'Can I wait in the car?' Ava whined, rubbing arms.

Emma slipped off her jacket to drape over the girl's shoulders. Nicholas wore his thickest black hoodie, but Ava opted for her favourite sweater that wasn't nearly warm enough for a breezy afternoon. With relief, she slipped her arms through the longer sleeves of Emma's blue jacket. Emma smiled; it was much too big on Ava, like a child playing dress-up.

'Hiding the book under your mattress wasn't good enough?' Emma asked Henry.

The boys continued burrowing, as if it was a matter of life or death that they find the book.

'Really?' Nicholas rolled his eyes, pausing to glance at her.

'What?'

'That's the first place the Evil Queen would look,' Henry said, pulling out a red box from underneath its sandy hiding place.

'How about leaving it with us?' Emma suggested.

'That's the second place,' Henry said, leaning back so Nicholas could undo the padlock.

Emma had missed something. Not about the curse or even the wooden playground Henry was determined to share with his siblings.

The boys worked well together. Nicholas moved without prompting or question, as if they buried and unburied things all the time. They'd bonded during their time in the mines, but somewhere along the line since then, Henry and Nicholas grew that bond in ways that didn't include Ava. It'd happened out of Emma's sight, but their teamwork spoke volumes.

'It's still here.' Henry exhaled, touching the cover of his storybook. 'Good.'

'So your mum doesn't know about the castle?' Emma slipped her jacket's hood over Ava's head, paranoid about her daughter freezing.

Ava hated hats, but evidentially hated the cold more. She adjusted the hood closer, thankful for any extra warm it secured. Emma frowned, thinking she should've made Ava wear the new jacket that morning instead of a poorly-insulated sweater.

'No.' Henry tilted his head to look at her. 'This is our secret.'

It was nice, having something to share with Henry that Regina didn't.

The afternoon trip to the playground was so Henry could share his favourite place with the twins. It warmed Emma, the idea of the four of them having something that was only theirs. It was the kind of warmth that no amount of cold weather could chill away.

'Henry?' Regina's voice broke the moment.

The boys snapped the metal box shut and hurriedly reburied it in sand. Ava moved to block the view from the mayor, who'd arrived in her car.

'Henry!' Regina approached, scowl on her face.

Was it her natural expression or something Regina reserved specially for Emma? Henry flinched at the look and quickly stood, shifting to hide partially behind Emma. Nicholas joined her other side, patting gloves against pants to dust off sand.

Ava, bold as ever, narrowed eyes at Regina.

'I've been looking everywhere for you.' Regina halted. She glanced at Henry then glared at Emma. 'I should have known he was with you. Henry – car – now!'

Rushing around Emma, the boy ran to Regina's car. He pulled open the back seat door, and paused to share a look with his brother. Nicholas shuffled his feet, looking down at the sand.

'You let him play here?'

'No.' Emma defensively crossed her arms, offering the mayor a glare of her own. 'We were going for a walk,' she lied.

'This is hardly the weather for that.' Regina directed disapproval at the jacket snug around Ava's shoulders. 'Miss Swan, how many times do I have to remind you that Henry is not yours?'

Not in the mood, Emma ignored the rest of Regina's little rant. She was pleased to watch the mayor march back to her car. Henry was Emma's son too – no matter what anyone said. While mindful of laws and not to do anything rash, she wasn't going to waste time with her kids by worrying about Regina's bad attitude.

Being a real mum to the twins came with a deeper understanding of what she missed out on with Henry. It wasn't her intention to disrupt Regina's custody of him, but sooner or later something was going to change. No one was going to stop her from being a part of her son's life or making sure he got his best chance too.

* * *

Storybrooke got colder during the week. With the amount of warm clothes Emma bundled on the twins, Mary Margaret joked that they looked like burritos.

Ava appreciated the gesture, whereas Nicholas always wriggled free of an extra jacket.

However, the fallen temperature made no impact on the busyness of the town. She was regularly called to solve one matter or another – icy roads, electrical problems caused by excessive use of heaters, or rescuing drunken citizens from taking naps outside in freezing air. The drama of Gold going up against Moe French was something Emma would rather not deal with. Her last interaction with Gold left her owing him a favour – it made her nervous that he was yet to cash it in.

When wind and weather relented for a day of sunshine with moderate warmth, Emma took a few hours off work in an afternoon to spend time with the twins.

She ordered muffins at Granny's, and was approached by Sydney – the editor of the Storybrooke Mirror newspaper. Or former editor, apparently. He tried to recruit her to go up against Regina. The temptation dangled in her mind, yet Emma's refusal was simple. She threw insults about the mayor for good measure, but made it clear to Sydney that he won't sway her decision.

She didn't have time to bullfight with Regina over the woman being a jerk. Emma had to find out why Nicholas deliberately kept himself from getting high grades in school, and what caused Ava's absolute dislike of wearing hats no matter how cold she was.

'Suit yourself.' Sydney angrily gulped the last of his drink. 'If you change your mind, you know where to find me.'

Henry stepped aside at the doorway to let Sydney leave, then joined Emma at the counter. His shoulders were hunched and eyes sad. Regina had the castle torn down, but what upset the boy more was the disappearance of his storybook.

'Where's Nick?' Henry glanced around. 'Or Ava?'

'At the loft, getting ready.' Emma said, accepting her order from Granny. She turned on the stool to face her son. 'We're going to the beach.'

'It's freezing.' Henry frowned.

'We're going for the sand and view, not swimming.' Emma smiled. 'It was Nicholas' idea.'

'So why'd you ask me here?' Henry sighed, voice quiet and miserable.

Emma had thought a lot about things August had said, and knew she had to do this. She led Henry outside, his mood lightening as her confidence shone through. The plan had to work or things would get really ugly, fast.

'You can say no, but I want you to come with me.' Emma placed hands on Henry's shoulders. 'To the Mayor's office, right now. I have a question for your-for Regina.'

Henry's eyebrows raised. He considered for a moment, the nodded. He kept close as they headed to the town hall, Emma's heart racing in her chest.

To say Regina was unhappy to see them enter her office together, entirely unannounced, was an understatement.

'Miss Swan-'

'I know,' Emma interrupted, 'but I needed to get your attention.'

'You have it.' Regina rose from her seat. 'What's this about?'

'I know you don't like me or that I spend time with _our_ son,' Emma chose her words effectively. She pretended not to notice the mayor tensed with contained anger at any implication of sharing Henry with her. 'And I know you want to believe he's fine, but here's the thing – he's not.'

'Emma...' Henry winced, darting his gaze from her to Regina.

She hadn't wanted Henry to be there for this. She stepped forward, believing luck to be on their side. The boy was part her and Killian - with the right words, the plan could work.

'Because of the fairytale thing?' Regina rolled her eyes.

'No, because his mother and birth mother are constantly butting heads instead of just _talking.'_ Emma crossed arms, refusing to believe she had any part in that besides not backing down when Regina was being unreasonable. 'And because he's a triplet; Henry has a brother and sister who can understand him in ways we never will. You're not just keeping him from knowing me and where he came from - you're keeping him from developing a relationship with his siblings.'

'What's your point?' Regina asked defensively. 'You think I should just let him run rampant with you so he can spend time with the others? He's done perfectly fine without a sibling in his life all these years. Nothing's changed.'

'I didn't know about them before.' Henry sulked.

'Stay out of this, Henry.' Regina sighed. 'Why did you bring him here, Miss Swan? This is hardly an appropriate conversation-'

'To change things,' Emma said sternly. 'I'm not here to argue. I'm here to ask for your _permission._ I'm taking Ava and Nicholas to the beach. I would like Henry to come with us and spend time with his siblings.'

'It's winter.' Regina's confusion mingled with surprise was almost comical.

'Their father was very fond of the sea,' Emma explained. Panic swelled from sharing anything personal with someone she wouldn't trust the life of a mouse to. 'It's sort of a picnic on the sand and taking in the ocean view. A beach isn't just for swimming.'

'I want to go,' Henry added.

Regina ignored him. Her suspicions of Emma's intentions was clear in her narrowed eyes and unrelenting tension. Shocked by the civil request for permission, retaliating insults didn't immediately roll off the mayor's tongue. It was a small success, yet a far throw from a yes.

Emma hated giving the power to Regina by asking, but it was the only way things were going to change. They had to break the pattern and it certainly wasn't going to be Regina who took the first step.

'A beach picnic in this weather is hardly a suitable bonding trip.' Regina shook her head. 'Miss Swan, I don't know what you're playing at, but I don't have to agree to anything. He is _my son_ and you have _no right_ to make any sort of demands!'

'No one is demanding anything,' Emma said patiently. Keeping her arms crossed helped to resist any urge to punch the woman or say what was really on her mind. 'This is about them, not us.'

'The hell it isn't!' Regina hissed. 'Don't use the children as an excuse.'

'It's just a picnic, what's the big deal?' Henry moved closer to Emma, green gaze fixed on Regina. 'What's _so bad_ about me being with Ava and Nicholas?'

'You see them at school every day,' Regina said.

'We can't talk in class,' Henry continued, voice raising. He clenched fists to his side. 'Ava has her own friends and Nicholas reads at school. That's not spending time with family.'

'They are _not_ your family.'

Regina knew she was losing control. Henry had a lot of anger inside him from the unfairness of the situation. The mayor had already shown what she'd do to win, even if it hurt Henry. Emma had done a lot of things out of stubbornness and recklessness, but Killian Jones was the most rebellious person she'd ever known. Henry deserved the right to be heard, and she'd gladly intervene if it became too much for the boy.

Regina needed to hear what he had to say.

'They are my family!' Henry glared. 'Ava is my _sister._ Nicholas is my _brother._ We have the same parents and the same birthday. They know what it's like being adopted and feeling like we never belong anywhere. They get me. I want to see Emma, but I want to know my brother and sister more than _anything_.'

'I'm your mother, Henry.' Regina moved front of her desk. 'I'm doing what's best for you. Running around with this woman, whenever either of you please, is not good for you.'

'You know, this is proof.' Henry's voice took on a deeper tone that surprised both women. 'That you don't really love me. You're _Evil.'_

'Henry!' Regina scolded.

'I wish you never adopted me,' Henry snapped. 'I wish I'd been homeless too so then I can be with my _real_ family!'

The ten-year-old stormed out the room before Emma could stop him. Guilt rushed through her - she turned to yell at Regain, but halted at the stunned look on her face.

'Are you happy now?' Regina's voice was very low. She was preparing to lash out in ways Emma did not want to be at the receiving end of.

'Of course not.' Emma frowned. 'You think I like seeing him upset? I know you're going to blame me for this too, but I didn't do this. _You_ did. All I did was give Henry a chance to be heard, thinking maybe you'd actually listen. He's not going to magically be fine just because you don't want things to change. Well news flash, Madam Mayor, he is _not_ fine!'

She was too angry to voice the rest of her argument in effort to win Regina over. Emma stormed from the office in a manner similar to her son.

~ T ~

Henry couldn't go with them to the beach. Emma found him on a bench. He gave her a big hug that meant he as going to be okay. The boy thanked her so sincerely she didn't regret having him join her to confront Regina.

Emma took a walk before returning to the loft. Their picnic on the beach was admittedly a strange outing. She and the twins were dressed warmly, though breeze was minimal and the sun beamed over sand and shore.

Ava mostly kept to herself, using a long stick to draw animal faces in the sand.

Nicholas lay on the gigantic picnic rug Mary Margaret lent them. Emma sat beside him, watching the distant horizon in secret longing for the sight of sails. Swallowing the last bite of his ham and cheese sandwich, Nicholas followed her gaze. Waves broke the water's stillness, white and blue rushing to the shore where Ava paused to collect seashells.

'Did you get to go on our uncle's ship?' Nicholas asked, sitting up. 'Is our father a good sailor?'

'Yeah.' Emma smiled sadly.

She even missed that magnificent ship, and Liam's stubborn faith in his many rules no matter how often Killian broke curfew.

'They both were. Your dad loved the ocean.'

'Me too, even if I can't swim.' Nicholas leaned to her side. 'Do you really think we can find them?'

'I'm trying my best.' Emma won't give false hope.

'Maybe they're at sea?' Nicholas shrugged. 'Do sailors use phones?'

'I don't know, kid.' She chuckled. 'Probably.'

The sky turned red and orange as the sun slowly tipped to meet the watery horizon. Emma packed up their rug and picnic basket, joining Ava and Nicholas for a walk along the beach before they'd head back to the loft.

The twins stopped ankle-deep in water, toes wriggled in sand, to peer at their reflections. Emma stood behind them, keeping her emotions controlled inside her. She and Killian did the same thing as children, only they'd waded in deeper and it led to a splash-battle of salty water and getting caught in seaweed. There was something magical about reflections in water that mirrors couldn't create.

'I look like you.' Ava smiled at Emma's reflection.

'I don't.' Nicholas frowned. 'Do you know anything about our grandparents?'

'No.' Emma looked away.

Her son resembled Killian so much it hurt to see his face in the water like an embodiment of a memory. They knew her story about not knowing where she came from or anything about her parents. Killian rarely talked about his family. There was so much anger at his father for abandoning him and Lima at sea soon after their mother died.

Nicholas tilted his head, considering. 'If Henry's right...Mary Margaret has black hair and David has blue eyes.' The boy pointed to his matching features.

Henry and Ava were satisfied to know their father was a great and kind man – only Nicholas extended questions further. But none had asked for Killian's name or what he looked like. They didn't want answers, they just wanted their dad.

The group walked back to the loft, as Emma had anticipated them being covered in sand and hadn't wanted to remove it from her yellow bug. She checked her voice messages, but there was nothing. After changing their clothes, the twins sat at the counter while Emma considered dinner.

There was a knock at the door.

Emma wanted to pinch herself to help comprehend the situation in front of her. She'd opened the door and there stood Regina with her hands on Henry's shoulders. The boy beamed at Emma with such a bright smile she barely managed a stuttered greeting.

'You have no legal right to Henry and you will be held to that,' Regina started, her tone cold and unrelenting. 'But...he has friends and that's good for him.'

'She means Ava and Nicholas,' Henry said.

'I will control when and where he is with you or them, but...you're right.' Regina swallowed, as if the words caused her pain. 'He should be allowed to know his siblings. He can stay for dinner and I will pick him up in an hour. No dessert or TV.'

'For real?' Nicholas grinned, running to greet Henry.

Emma was speechless.

'Do we have a deal?' Regina frowned.

'Uh, yeah.' She nodded. 'That's fine.'

'One hour. Not a second later.' Regina released her grip on Henry.

'You're here!' Nicholas hugged his brother, softening Regina's glare.

The mayor left and Emma shut the door, still processing her disbelief.

'What was that?' Ava asked.

'That was a start.' Emma smiled, looking to Henry. 'What happened?'

'I don't know.' The boy shrugged. His sly smirk said otherwise. 'I guess she decided to listen.'

'I guess so.' Emma didn't buy it, but took any good fortune they got. 'Alrighty then, let's get a start on dinner. Mary Margaret's joining us after all.'

'I thought she had a date?' Ava tilted her head. 'It's Valentine's Day.'

'They changed their minds,' she said, distracting the girl by requested ingredients from the fridge.

Nicholas tugged Henry's hand to show him where everything was, both excited to help prepare dinner – something they'd never shared before. The family of four crowded in the small kitchen, and Emma never wanted it to end.

Things weren't going well for Mary Margaret and David, as if there was a conspiracy against them. She'd texted Emma to say their dinner date was cancelled and they'd decided to have some time apart.

When the kids were asleep, late night hot cocoa and conversation was due.

'What are we making?' Henry grinned up at her.

'How does home-made pizza sound?' Emma asked.

'Awesome!' Henry and Ava said in unison.

Years of struggling to survive on her own didn't make Emma the best cook, but if the oven wasn't enough than she could just throw the pizzas in the microwave. It'd be a shame to waste their hour together by sitting around waiting for food. The triplets set up at the counter, enjoying picking their own toppings on each their mini-pizzas.

They were rather picky eaters; Emma should invest in a cookbook.

Mary Margaret walked through the door as they were setting the table to eat. To her credit, the schoolteacher engaged in small talk with skill Emma envied, and their meal went by rather quickly.

Then the hour was almost over and Henry hugged his siblings tight.

'Maybe my mum will let me sleepover sometime,' Henry said, optimistic as he helped clean up from dinner.

'Let's not get ahead of ourselves.' Emma winced. 'She hasn't exactly asked to sit and talk about this yet. One step at a time, okay, kid?'

'Okay.' Henry sighed.

'Maybe we could sleepover there?' Ava suggested.

'A sleepover at the Evil Queen's house?' Nicholas shuddered. 'I'd rather face a dragon.'

Emma joined Mary Margaret by the counter, each watching the triplet chat together as the minutes ticked away. They looked so happy.

A knock at the door dropped Henry's smile. Nicholas gave him an extra hug, as he and Ava walked their brother to wave goodbye. Regina was considerably less sour, yet checked Henry over as if they'd poisoned him or dome harm.

Emma rolled her eyes but kept her mouth shut.

'Goodnight.' Regina nodded, and they left.

Mary Margaret suggested a movie so they headed to the living room, but Emma lingered by the door. Nicholas demanded 101 Dalmatians, much to his sister's annoyance. While they bickered in the background, Emma slipped the compass from her pocket. She let questions flow – those dangerous ones she'd never allowed herself the chance to honestly ponder.

Would Killian want to know their children?

Would he be proud of them as much as she was? Would he love them?

Had he ever loved her?

The compass was warm to touch. It stopped working the day he gave it to her – its needle never moving even when turned or shaken. Yet she couldn't toss it away.

Memories of Killian where often incomplete and distorted. As she stared at the aged lettering of the compass, those recollections became a bit clearer. The more she concentrated on pinpointing where an event took place, the fuzzier it all became. There was the ship, Killian's charming smile, many cobbled alleys, tall trees good for climbing, a dazzling ballroom, and yet no town or sign – no indication of where to begin her search.

Her phone pinged with a text message.

Emma sighed, pocketing the compass. August sent her a time and place for their date. Her mind reeled, unsure if she should've called it a date – torn between guilt and confusion. She'd labelled it because without a label it was too unknown and new. Nothing could happen with another man until she knew how her search for Killian would turn out. She was stuck without closure, but would go along to hear what August wanted to talk about.

Her phone buzzed. Seeing the caller ID, she quickly answered.

'Hey.' Corey's voice was heavy. 'Em, I'm sorry. I looked everywhere. There's no record of Killian or Liam Jones _anywhere._ Not now, and not ten years ago. I can keep trying, but-'

She hung up, pressing the phone to her forehead. Eyes shut tight, she fought to stay calm. Hope dwindled; every stone she overturned came up empty.

Where was the man who fathered her three children?

'No, Ava – give it back!' Nicholas whined, reaching for the snack bowl.

She'd do it for them. Emma won't give up, not this time. She insisted it was so the triplets could learn where they came from, and for Killian to know his children as he rightly should. Her emotions strayed into dangerous territory, where it was harder to deny how motivation she was for her own selfish reasons. It couldn't be about her.

'I'll find you,' Emma promised quietly. Her hand clutched the warm compass. 'Wherever you are, however long it takes, I _will_ find you.'

* * *

 _Review?_


	8. Conflicted Sides

**Author's Notes:** Thank you for the reviews and messages - and for reading/enjoying this story so far! I appreciate every one of you.

* * *

 **~ Conflicted Sides ~**

'Mum, have you seen my gloves?' Nicholas peered over the loft's upstairs railing. 'The green ones. I can't find them anywhere.'

Emma stilled by the kitchen counter, eyes wide with disbelief.

'You left them at school. I forgot to grab them,' Mary Margaret answered the boy while glancing at Emma. 'I'm sure Henry will let you borrow his.'

'Yeah. My others are in the wash.' Nicholas huffed and returned to his shared bedroom.

'Emma?' Mary Margaret smiled. 'Was that-?'

'Yeah.' Emma's throat was tight. 'That was the first time.'

He'd called her _Mum_. Her heart beat fast as the word echoed in her ears. Nicholas said it so casually, so easily, as if unaware of its magnitude. After the months they'd shared, why now? Nothing significant happened in the past weeks since their trip to the beach, yet there the milestone was.

She was "Mum" now.

'Okay, I'm ready.' He hurried down the stairs, looping a red scarf. Nicholas gave Emma a quick hug.

The boy left with Mary Margaret. Emma leaned to the counter, exhaling heavily. With an emotional smile, she glanced to Ava coming down the stairs with her nose in a book. The girl rather liked research, though it wasn't clear where Ava was getting the books from - the town library remained closed and she rarely asked to buy something.

Sighing, she tossed the book onto the table and joined Emma by stacks of papers and filed records. Ava zipped her jacket as high as it went.

It was the night of the Miner's Day festival. Nicholas and Henry were already on their way there, eager to help Mary Margaret, Leroy, and David sell candles. Ava wasn't interested in managing a stall in cold weather, preferring to keep her mother company.

Emma hadn't revealed Killian's name, paranoid Henry would hop on a bus to wherever it led. Ava flipped through files anyway, as if the answers would jump out at them.

'Anything?' she bit her lip, reading some of Emma's papers messily piled to one side.

'Nothing useful.' Emma grimaced. 'It's not as if he gave me a fake name. Yet...'

'Finding people's what you do, right?' Ava watched her. 'Maybe you're looking in the wrong place?'

'Maybe.' Emma leaned back, sighing. 'Or maybe I don't know him as well as I thought.'

'Time for a break?'

'Yeah.' She smiled at her daughter. 'Time for a break. Let's go see what the festival fuss is about.'

'At least it isn't in the mines.' Ava rolled her eyes, snatching gloves from the table.

They left the loft together and walked to the town square, neither in a hurry to get there.

Ava was the most outspoken of the triplets; her directness kept interactions simpler than with the boys. She often watched Emma with Killian's knowing look, able to read her in similar ways he used to. Regardless of her strong resemblance to Emma, it was Killian's faith and perception that shone through their daughter.

'What does he look like?' Ava asked.

'Who?' She feigned ignorance.

'Our father.'

'Oh, he...' Emma swallowed, eyes trailing stall signs and above the crowd.

In over ten years, details were unforgettable: the softness of Killian's hair, despite salty waters he craved and the lingering sweat from hard labour; the blue of his eyes, deeper than any ocean and just as easily lost in; the way he smiled and laughed; when he scratched behind his ear when nervous or the rosy tint to his cheeks when embarrassed.

Her memories of their adventures dimmed and blurred over time, but he was so real. His hands fit flawlessly in hers, his kisses tasted of rum and honey, and when Killian stood close his whispers tickled her skin.

His impact on her lingered in ways Emma refused to confront.

'He looks like Nick, doesn't he?' Ava's tone was accusative. 'I see how you look at him. You don't do that with me or Henry.'

'There's resemblance, but that's not why,' Emma lied.

They walked among the festival's crowd and activity, but she wished they'd stayed at the loft.

'You can tell me.'

'Ava, it doesn't matter.' Emma crossed arms, as if to tuck every secret to herself. 'Can we talk about something else?'

'I want to talk about _this,_ ' Ava growled. 'He's our father and you don't even have a picture of him. Why not?'

'It's complicated.'

Ava scoffed and marched off to the stall where Nicholas stacked orange candles into a pyramid. Leroy sneakily sipped from a flask behind David's back.

Emma watched the triplets, heart sinking.

Things were going well until now. Regina allowed Henry to have every Monday dinner with them at the loft, accompanied by a list of rules the boys spent their two hours complaining about. The time apart was good for Mary Margaret and David, though they hadn't resumed going on dates. Sydney finally accepted Emma's decision not to go up against the mayor, and left her alone. Nicholas and Henry were happier than ever – so what caused Ava's mood to turn sour?

'Rough day?' August stood beside Emma, watching the retreating ten-year-old.

'Aren't they all?'

'Perhaps.' He shrugged. 'Someone wise once told me that hard days are there to teach us to appreciate the good ones. Without the bad, we wouldn't know what _good_ is.'

'I've had more than my share of bad.' Emma frowned. 'I'm pretty sure there's no balance to that stuff. Sometimes, things just suck.'

'Either that or you're looking for good things in the same place you found bad ones,' August said slyly. 'Maybe you need to broaden your horizon?'

'Were you always this philosophical?' Emma rolled her eyes, arms crossing tighter.

'I have my moments.' He shrugged. 'I am a writer.'

The candles were selling well, though no doubt the adorable duo of Henry and Nicholas charmed more customers than Leroy's grumpy determination. Yet it was important to Leroy too; looks could be deceiving. August often called himself a writer but when did he actually write something? He barely used the typewriter he carried everywhere, and she used to only see him because August and Corey were rarely one without the other. The men had the sort of loyal friendship that slipped away from Emma since she'd seen the last of Lily.

In the years Emma had known August and Corey, something always felt out of place so she'd kept her distance.

'Light your path with the best candles in Storybrooke!' Henry said.

Nicholas held up candles as if they were holy grails.

'I hear you're looking for their father,' August said, his voice carrying over a background of chattering people enjoying the festival. 'Maybe I can help?'

Emma knew why he was in Storybrooke. August revealed himself to be the seven-year-old boy who found her as a baby, on their weird trek through a forest outside of town. He'd also said she had to save everyone from the curse. Emma was at her wits end with the fairytale crap. She didn't have Henry because she had no choice. Regina was right: she gave up her rights ten years ago and would be held to that. For August to say a crazy curse could change that was too cruel a fate.

She was no saviour.

'I don't need your help,' Emma said. 'Their father is none of your business.'

'You and I, we used to be friends once.' August glanced around, lingering on Marco laughing with Archie. 'If you can trust Corey, you can trust me.'

'You also used to be Neal's friend once. I don't trust any of you.' She glared. 'Look, I get you mean well, but I need real answers. The ones you give tend to be in the form of magic.'

Henry waved at her to join them. Not sparing August a glance, Emma headed to the stall. She stood by Mary Margaret, who pat her arm sympathetically. David wrestled the flask from Leroy, tucking it into his own jacket with a disapproving shake of his head.

'How's the sales going?' Emma asked.

'Okay.' Nicholas shrugged.

'We need to sell _all_ of them to help Astrid,' Henry added. 'Or Nova.' He smirked, flipping to a page of his storybook illustrating a fairy and dwarf standing on a hill to watch fireflies. He hadn't gone far without his book, but now Henry took it everywhere since Emma returned it.

She'd found it near her car the other day; another small victory, but one she was suspicious of.

'You can have my hot cocoa, if you like?' Ava offered to Leroy. She sat by him at the edge of the group, where they occupied the only two chairs their group brought.

'You don't want it?' he checked before accepting the steaming cup.

'Not anymore.' Ava sulked. 'And there's no cinnamon.'

Emma excused herself. She should patrol the festival and ensure everything went well because she was still sheriff, but she marched off to get some fresh air. The place can burn to the ground in her absence for all she cared. That wasn't true, but her emotions didn't put her in a rational state of mind.

She found herself in quiet darkness by the docks, overlooking the ink-coloured sea. She'd always believed the best in Killian, but was she looking in the wrong place? Should she include hospitals and prisons? No - even if he'd fallen from grace, his name would've come up by now. Liam was nowhere either. Emma didn't believe in curses or magic, but Killian gave her enough reason to hope for a miracle.

It may be exactly what she needed to find him.

~ T ~

Ava didn't avoid Emma for long, but her mood worsened. Even Mary Margaret was confused, talking of conflict between Ava and Henry at school. Nicholas became withdrawn and no one knew how to approach him about it. He spent afternoons his room, where Ava kept her brother company to help cheer him up.

Emma was at complete loss – what had she missed or done wrong?

Saturday morning started calmly enough, with the twins watching TV or reading books while Emma sorted another stack of records. They headed out to Granny's for lunch while Mary Margaret went to the animal shelter. A ginger cat named Boots had escaped his owner again, found tangled in shoelaces - David needed an extra pair of hands to deal with the fiesty runaway.

'You finally gonna tell me what's going on with your grades, kid?' Emma questioned Nicholas as they walked to the loft, full of grilled cheese and chocolate milk. 'You got those questions right when I quizzed you. What happened?'

Nicholas shrugged.

'Not good enough,' she said. 'Look, I'm not mad – I just want to understand why you're holding yourself back.'

'Can I tell her?' Ava nudged him.

Nicholas nodded, staring at his shoes.

'It's the pressure,' Ava said. 'Nick works hard in school, but he's afraid if he does really well then it'll be expected. What if we have a bad day and he doesn't do so well next time? And now we're living with our teacher so everyone thinks we're supposed to be geniuses or something.'

'Or we're teacher's pets now,' Nicholas mumbled.

'Thank you for telling me.' Emma considered how to explain they shouldn't care what other people think. 'People are always going to assume things. They'll try to tell you who you are your whole life, but you that's not their choice. You got to push back and show them who you are. Nobody's perfect. We all make mistakes and have bad days.'

'Even you?' Ava raised an eyebrow.

'Oh yeah.' Emma chuckled. 'All the time. But if I gave up every time someone thought I couldn't do something or be the person I want to be, I wouldn't have made it this far. We wouldn't be together.'

Nicholas nodded, giving her a smile. They continued to their apartment – Henry was sitting on the steps, bag by his feet.

'I have proof,' Henry said, grinning as he revealed a large set of keys.

'You found them!' Nicholas hurried to his brother. 'I was right?'

'You were absolutely right.' He stood. 'The book said they could open any door, so let's try it.'

'Are those Regina's?' Emma frowned. 'Did you steal those from her office?'

'So she has some weird keys.' Ava rolled eyes, arms crossed. 'How does that prove anything?'

'Yeah, but the Evil Queen _would_ have keys to where Snow White lives,' Nicholas said, smile dropping at his sister's disapproval. 'I mean, if it's real...'

'We have to try,' Henry pleaded with Emma, heading to the locked door.

Shifting files, she let him give it a go. Ava's deep frown answered what she and Henry argued about at school.

The first key didn't fit. Emma's heart sank for Henry. He was so eager and convinced the keys were going to work. When she approached, Nicholas hurried ahead.

'Let me,' he said.

Henry passed the keys. Nicholas wriggled one at the keyhole, with no success. He looked at the keys for a moment then sighed, handing them back.

'Can we just go inside?' Ava huffed. 'I've got homework to do. Or is your stupid curse going to magic that way too?'

'Hey,' Emma scolded. 'That's your brother.'

'I know, and he's being annoying.' Ava slumped her shoulders. 'I'm tired. He's blocking the door.'

'It has to work!' Henry kept trying. 'We just need to find the right one. Why else would she have these if not to spy on everyone? The Evil Queen has to make sure we don't break the curse. Why do you think it's so hard to find our father? She must've done something to stop us finding our happy ending too.'

'Come on,' Emma said, unsettled by the boy's words. 'Henry, I know you want to think the answer to everything is in Operation Cobra-'

'It is!' he insisted.

'But sometimes the real world needs to come first.' Emma got out her own keys and moved to the door, not finished discussing Nicholas' grades or Ava's attitude.

'Just try one more,' Henry asked. 'Please?'

'Okay.' Emma sighed. 'One more. But then we're done.'

'You do it.' Henry offered her the keys. 'This one.'

Emma stared at the apple, hesitating as she thought of Mary Margaret being Snow White. She took the key and turned it. The locked clicked.

'Do you believe now?' Henry watched the door swing open.

'Wow!' Nicholas turned to his brother. 'We were right, it fits! Just like the part in the queen's Castle.'

Ava shoved by them, heading into the apartment to dump her bag on the table. Nicholas' enthusiasm vanished; he glanced between either sibling, clearly torn.

'Ava's mad at me.' Henry lowered his gaze. 'What'd I do wrong? Am I annoying?'

Glass breaks, clattering to the floor. Emma gasped, running to the kitchen where Ava stared at her bloody hand.

'I...I don't know what happened,' Ava stuttered.

'Are you okay?' Henry worried.

'She'll be fine.' Emma grabbed a cloth to wrap Ava's cut palm. Her heart drummed at the sight of blood on her child. Growing up in foster care, Emma had similar incidences but always thought it was faulty glass or she'd held a cup too tight. She refused to reconsider the cause.

'It was like magic,' Nicholas whispered.

'Not now, Nicholas.' Emma frowned. 'Henry, where does Regina think you are? You should go home. Put the keys back, okay?'

'But-'

'Henry, go.' She fixed him with a stern look.

He nodded and left, dragging his schoolbag behind him down the stairs.

'It hurts.' Ava winced, eyes staring up in avoidance.

'I know, kid.' Emma checked the first aid kit Mary Margaret kept close, spare hand rubbing the girl's shoulder. 'But we'll get this cleaned up and you'll be okay.'

Nicholas made a frustrated sound. He stormed upstairs and slammed the bedroom door, rattling pots in the kitchen. A plate slid off the counter, smashing on the floor. Emma closed her eyes and mentally counted backwards to stay calm.

It was times like these that maybe she'd dodged a bullet not raising the triplets on her own.

'Can I use the animal band-aides?' Ava asked quietly.

Emma snorted, opening eyes to smile at her daughter. 'Of course.' She nodded, brushing blonde hair from Ava's face. 'Whatever helps.'

* * *

Weather got warmer but a chill remained between the triplets. August put a new bolt on the door; neither Emma nor Mary Margaret were keen on Regina having easy access to their apartment.

Curse or no curse.

'Hello?' Henry peered inside.

'Sit.' Emma indicated to the table. Ava and Nicholas, also still in their school uniforms, where already there.

'Regina-'

'She knows you're here.' She watched Henry sit with his siblings. 'And she agreed that this has to stop.'

'What does?' Ava worried, breath catching.

'The fighting.' Emma placed a reassuring hand over her daughter's smaller one. 'You're not getting along and it's a problem. Do you really want to risk Regina forbidding Henry from seeing us? Because that's where we're heading if this keeps up.'

'No.' Ava ducked her head in shame. 'Of course I don't want that.'

'Okay. Good.' She nodded. 'Then be honest – what's really bothering you?'

'Is it the curse?' Henry asked hesitantly. 'Because you don't believe me?'

Ava was quiet for a long moment.

Emma was on edge, afraid it can't be resolved without getting messy - without someone getting hurt. She glanced at Mary Margaret, who slowly placed a mug on the kitchen counter in determination not to make a sound.

'No,' the girl said. 'I don't know what I believe. But Henry, you don't understand. It used to be me and Nick. Now it's you and Nick, but not me. I wasn't in the mines, I didn't know about your castle, or any of it. You and Nick do everything now.'

'He asked you to come,' Nicholas said. 'You don't believe. You called Henry names and said it was stupid to think the book's real.'

'What, you believe in the curse?' Ava frowned.

Emma let them sort it out; she was out of her depth. She shared a look with Mary Margaret, who offered a supportive nod.

Nicholas used his voice – and what he had to say was delivered with fierce loyalty.

'Who cares?' Nicholas rolled his eyes. 'Yeah, when it was just us we always had each other and did everything together. Who'd Henry have? It's not about the curse, Ava - it's about our brother. I believe in _him._ '

'Thanks.' Henry was tearful, leaning to hug Nicholas tight.

'I didn't...' Ava's eyes filled with tears too. 'I'm so, so sorry! It should've been the three of us against the world. I thought I was losing Nick and I was angry. It's not your fault. I was mean, I'm sorry!' She rushed around the table.

The triplets hugged and cried and laughed, but it was Emma who was overwhelmed. Emotions were high and apologies got repeated, yet a little nudge was all they'd needed to sit and talk. She'd expected more fighting and debate. It was over fast and Emma could hardly believe Ava's remorse was genuine, but it was. She saw the pain in her daughter's matching green eyes.

Was their love that strong or had everyone made a bigger deal about the conflict than they should have?

'Okay.' Emma nodded, proud but unsure what to say. 'I think you need to spend more time together as a family – get to know each other better. You'll see more things you have in common than stuff you don't. Any suggestions?'

'We could ride horses?' Ava rose higher in her chair. 'That'd be fun.'

'More like amazing.' Henry grinned. 'Please, can we?'

Nicholas slouched in his chair. He'd used up his words.

Emma called Regina – they arranged to meet at the stables.

The kids raced each other out the apartment, shoving and bickering in haste. Emma glanced to the kitchen where Mary Margaret smiled at her.

'You're doing great,' she encouraged Emma.

'Thanks,' Emma said, but wasn't so sure. 'Was that too fast? It _felt_ too fast.'

'Maybe.' Mary Margaret shrugged. 'Or maybe Ava already knew what Nicholas was saying, but emotions kept her in denial. Seeing her brothers upset probably broke the barrier. Her walls came down.'

Emma fidgeted under the significant stare. She grabbed a jacket and headed outside, relieved her three kids hadn't gone far.

'This is cool,' Henry said, getting into the back seat of the police car with Ava and Nicholas.

It was how it should've been the night Emma got custody; three kids in the car.

She was quiet, trying not to worry about the sneaky whispers shared behind her on the drive to the stables. Ava shot out the car, slowing when near enough to see a horse. Henry kept up, while Nicholas dragged his feet reluctantly.

'There you are.' Regina glared by the open barn doors.

Emma bit back a sarcastic apology that teleportation hadn't been invented yet.

'This is Joe McDonald,' Regina introduced them to an older man in a cowboy hat. 'He's agreed to give these three riding lessons – one hour on Thursday and Friday afternoons. Henry, Mr Hopper is willing to change your therapy day to Wednesday. He agrees that learning to ride a horse will be good for you.'

'Awesome.' Henry grinned.

'Miss Swan, I do hope you can afford the lessons.' Regina glanced smugly at Emma.

'Yeah, not a problem.' She nodded, arms crossed in annoyance.

'Y'all like to see the horses?' Joe asked. 'I've got a few old reliables lined up for new riders.'

'Would we?' Henry gasped.

'Yes!' Ava nodded. 'Can we pick our own? Do they all have names? Are there any baby horses here? Oh, please tell me I can choose my horse.'

They headed into the stables, led by ever-so-eager Ava and Henry.

Emma wanted to ask why Nicholas sulked and kept his distance as if they were strangers to him. Regina distracted her with reassurances that she knew Joe well enough to trust he'll look after the kids and was certified to teach them. She'd also examined the potential horses herself – they were more than capable and appropriate for the kids to learn on.

A horse neighed loudly, kicking a stall door. Nicholas yelled, stumbling backwards into Regina. She caught the boy by his shoulders faster than Emma could react.

'Be careful,' the mayor said sternly. 'Joe's going to give a tour of the stables and horses. Why don't you join them?'

Shaking his head furiously, Nicholas stared wide-eyed at the restless horse. He gasped, then turned and ran.

'I...' Emma hesitated, looking where Ava's excitable voice was heard beyond the doors.

'Go after the boy.' Regina sighed grumpily. 'I'll watch them.'

Emma went to find her youngest son.

He'd locked himself in the back seat of the police car, knees drawn close. She sat in the front, turning to look at Nicholas in struggle to understand what was on his mind. She'd legally been his mother for months and still he was as much a mystery to her as when he was born.

'You don't talk much, kid,' Emma said kindly. 'Nothing wrong with it, but do you think you could tell me why?'

Nicholas met her gaze, blue eyes vulnerable and scared. He shrugged, resting his chin on knees and staring low. He was quiet but his thoughts were active, slowly building bravery needed to answer.

She was patient.

'What's the point of talking if no one listens?' Nicholas asked quietly.

'Hey,' Emma leaned uncomfortably to reach his hand, holding it in hers. 'I used to feel that way too. I know it's hard, but shutting yourself off from people doesn't make it any easier. Believe me, I know.'

Nicholas dropped his gaze, unconvinced.

Emma put aside her reluctance and pain, not wanting her kids to be afraid to connect with people like she had. The fear of getting hurt and being left behind did nothing to prevent either fact.

'Your father...He was there for me at times when no one else was. He was a great listener. I see a lot of him in you, Nicholas,' she said. 'And I promise I'll always listen to you. You're not alone.'

Nicholas sprung from the seat to hug her. She exhaled in relief, holding her boy tight. It was in Killian's quiet frustration and her fearful emotional-self-preservation that forged a new understanding of Nicholas.

'I don't like the horses,' Nicholas said. 'Please don't make me ride one. I know Ava and Henry want to...'

She cupped his face with her hands, smiling at her brave and kind son. 'Okay.' Emma nodded as they left the car. 'You can like different things; you're your own person, with or without siblings. How about, when Ava and Henry ride horses you hang out at the station with me? They need to spend time together and I'm short of a deputy.'

Nicholas nodded, smiling back.

'Mum!' Ava ran towards them while Henry puffed to keep up. 'I'm going to ride this beautiful horse called Chestnut. He's awesome! I fed him a carrot and he made a weird noise and it was amazing,' she babbled.

'Henry, let's go,' Regina said. 'Thursdays and Fridays, Miss Swan. Straight after school.'

Emma nodded, arm looped around Nicholas' shoulders. Henry gave them both a quick hug and ran to Regina's car.

'Is everything okay?' Ava asked, as Nicholas wiped his eyes.

'Yeah,' Emma said. 'I think we're going to be fine. Come on, I've got to pick up some more files then we can decide dinner.'

'Pizza!' Nicholas said.

'Nice try, kid.' Emma chuckled.

They headed to the station and she gathered the last box of papers. Emma wanted to donate to a rainforest or something to ease guilt of the sheer amount of paper she clogged the loft with. Why were all computers in Storybrooke from the dark ages?

Her phone buzzed.

She glared at it.

Dumping the box on a desk, she sighed and read the latest string of messages from Corey. He believed the curse was real and encouraged her to go on a trip with August. She'd made it clear there'd be no more trips or lectures about the curse and her being the saviour. She doesn't have time to look at trees or wells or whatever it was this time.

She and Corey had been through a lot together in the past few years, but the moment he added to the curse her walls went high. She didn't consider him a friend or her family. With longer gaps between hearing from him, Emma was ready to move on. She was going to stay in Storybrooke and create a new life there.

It was time she looked to the future.

Mary Margaret greeted them as they returned to the loft. She gave Nicholas her phone so he could call Henry – the boy ran upstairs for privacy while the schoolteacher left to get groceries.

Ava helped gather cutlery and plates. They set the table in silence, then the girl noticed something in a basket of laundry.

'What's this?' she asked

'My baby blanket.' Emma folded it carefully, hand brushing her own name embroidered in purple. 'It's the only thing I have left from my parents.'

'It's pretty.' Ava touched it gently, eyes thoughtful.

Emma didn't dare ask, but wondered if the girl noticed it too. The blanket was made for her with love and preparation, yet was used to wrap a newborn left on the side of a road. She was abandoned by her parents, though the blanket was proof of something more.

'We're lucky,' Ava said. 'To have you, I mean. We're together now, like a family. I'm glad Henry went to Boston. I'm glad you came to Storybrooke. I'm glad you're my mum.'

'Me too, kid.' Emma hugged her daughter.

'Do you think we'll really find him? Our father?'

'I'm not going to stop until I do,' she promised.

'Do you still have the compass?' Ava asked. 'It's all we have from our father.' She glanced at the blanket.

Emma lifted the compass from her pocket. She'd added a chain in case one of the kids wanted to wear it, but she'd never made the offer. She had a harder time letting it go. It didn't even function as a compass; despite being turned in every direction, the needle stayed put as if glued in place.

'Did you love him?' Ava asked quietly, holding the object close with both hands as if afraid it'd disappear too.

'I don't know,' Emma admitted. 'Maybe I did, once. But I will find him, Ava. Even if I have to use _magic_ to do it.'

'I believe you.' The girl smiled, staring intently at Killian's compass.

The needle twitched.


	9. Believe

**Author's Notes:** The updated version of the video will be coming soon. Thanks again to all of you wonderful readers and reviewers who make writing this story more fun than it already is.

* * *

 **~ Believe ~**

Emma spent a quiet afternoon by the docks.

The ocean was calm and its bluest blue, while she wiped away tear and glanced down. Henry's book sat open on her lap, showing a page with a horse – one of many leading a black carriage through a forest. Ava said its name was Reina; not on the page, but the identical Storybrooke stable horse with the same flower-shaped marking on its neck.

She sighed, snapping the book shut. Emma placed it on the bench beside her, focusing on the rise and fall of the ocean's watery breaths. When she drove into Storybrooke all those months ago, she couldn't have anticipated how much her life would change. Emma put down roots, made friends, became a mother, and was searching for Killian; she was fighting for her family.

'Our family,' she whispered, closing eyes to think of him.

She held the warm compass, mind shifting through memories sharpened by her determination. The field where they met was full of flowers glowing in moonlight. Their first kiss was in a tree when they were fourteen. They went to a ball together - an actual ball with stunning gowns and grand entrances.

She glanced warily at Henry's storybook.

Her daughter once believed. When Emma met the twins, Ave commented that no one else had changed – only them. She'd asked Henry questions; the more he talked about the curse and happy endings, the less Ava believed. Then a horse shared markings with one who pulled the Evil Queen's carriage.

Her phone beeped. Emma turned off the alarm, checking the time.

She gave the ocean a last glance – she should take the kids out on Leroy's boat when he fixes it up, teach them how to sail. Killian would like that. Once she taught Nicholas to swim, but at least there were life jackets.

Every Thursday and Friday, Emma drove Henry and Ava to the stables for their lessons. She and Nicholas would be at the station colouring art or sorting files. Then she'd drop Henry home and take the twins to Granny's for dinner. Ava's confidence and riding ability shone in the past month, though Nicholas didn't appreciate the horse posters added to their shared bedroom.

Having seen Regina's glare, Emma parked roughly outside the school gates where the Triplets stood nearby. Henry and Ava were angrier than she'd ever seen them, but this time not at each other.

'But that's not fair!' Ava growled at Regina, earning wide-eyed admiration from her brothers.

'What's going on?' She hurriedly left the police car. 'Regina?'

'Henry won't be attending his lesson today, or any day for the foreseeable future. I've cancelled the entire event; you'll get your refund as early as tomorrow,' Regina said. She was livid in tone and heated gaze, arm tight around Henry's shoulder to keep him beside her.

'Why?' Emma crossed arms.

'Because I said so.' The mayor was intimidating. Emma's refusal to back down added to Regina's controlled fury. 'Because I am his _mother_.'

'So am I,' Emma stated boldly before she reconsidered saying it aloud. 'We had a deal.'

'No, Miss Swan, I _allowed_ Henry to _s_ pend time with his siblings and now I'm disallowing it.' Regina's voice became quieter yet deadly. 'It's clear this was a bad idea. I need to do what's best for _my son._ '

She turned to leave with Henry, nudging the reluctant and furious boy.

'You really are the Evil Queen,' Nicholas said.

Regina halted. 'Excuse me?' She shot him a look, prompting Emma to place protective hands on Nicholas' shoulder.

Ava stood firm by her brother's side, chin raised in bravery.

Henry stomped to Regina's car and got in. The mayor cast a lingering glance then drove away.

'What the hell?' Emma turned to Ava, as Nicholas retreated to sit miserably on a bench.

'She cancelled my lesson.' Ava huffed, arms crossed. Her anger faltered under Emma's stern look, expecting answers. 'Henry was so brave. He told Regina he wanted to leave her and come live with us. We're gonna help him, right? And when you find our father, he can help too.'

'Ava...' Emma sighed, slumping to sit beside Nicholas. 'It doesn't work like that. Legally, Regina _is_ Henry's mother. I shouldn't even be...'

'He belongs with us,' Nicholas muttered.

'One battle at a time, kid.'

~ T ~

Henry's rebellion meant days passed without his company; no Friday riding lesson or Monday dinner at the loft. Emma kept to her sheriff duties. Ava and Nicholas focused on school. While the triplets were upset about the change, nothing fell apart. It was a revelation that shook Emma, and led to a late-night conversation with Mary Margaret.

'I tried to keep them together but none of it worked,' Emma said, pausing to sip her hot cocoa. With cinnamon, of course. 'Henry put himself in more danger. So did Ava and Nicholas. Archie's right; none of this is good for them.'

'But you have a plan,' Mary Margaret assumed. Her eyes were sad and knowing.

'We're leaving.' Emma nodded. 'We're getting out town for a while. I can do that, Ava and Nicholas are _my kids._ It's what's best for them.'

'And what about Henry?' The schoolteacher looked into her mug. 'You'll just leave him? Is that what's best for him?'

'Not forever,' Emma promised, as if she needed Mary Margaret to believe her. 'Just until things calm down. I have to prove to Regina that I won't take him from her. We'll still be in his life, but not like this.'

It wasn't her original plan. If Henry wanted to live with her and get away from Regina, she'd have buckled all three kids in her yellow bug and drove out of town. Maybe the old Emma would've done it. After ten years, she finally understood the new Emma she'd become. She had Ava and Nicholas to thank for it.

'When will you leave?' Mary Margaret placed a hand over Emma's, showing support even when opposing the decision.

'Tomorrow.'

Her mind was made up.

Emma told the twins the moment they rose for breakfast the next morning. Ava did as she was told, without fuss or comment. Nicholas was upset - he shoved his bowl, sloshing milk and cereal on the table. Emma winced at the mess, though paused patiently to listen to her son if he chose to speak.

'We're really going?' Ava asked quietly.

'Yes.' Emma nodded.

'But...' Nicholas grumbled, taking a deep breath. 'You can't _leave_ Storybrooke. Henry says you have to break the curse.'

'Nicholas, we all love Henry and believe in him, but is this really about a curse?' Emma crouched to his level. 'As your mother, I need to do what's best for you – to help _you._ '

Nicholas leaned in his seat, head bowed sadly. 'I'm really gonna miss him.'

'I know.' Emma ruffled his dark hair, glancing at Ava.

'Okay.' The girl nodded. 'I trust you.'

'Then go pack when you're done with breakfast,' Emma instructed, grabbing her jacket.

There was one thing left to do. She'd spoken to Archie a few days ago, who agreed the war between herself and Regina had to end if they were both going to be in Henry's life.

Emma was outside the mayor's house. Her heart beat to war drums as she forced herself to accept what had to happen. She rang the doorbell, resisting every urge to turn and flee. She'd rather fight and win against Regina, but at what cost? No, this plan had to work; she had to be better.

Regina opened the door, surprised.

'We need to talk,' Emma said.

'Yes, I imagine we do.' Regina was confused, but hostility vanished. 'I was just about to call you. Come right in.'

She entered the house, nerves flaring inside her. The last time Emma saw the house in such detail was the night she arrived in Storybrooke, after meeting Henry. It made what she was about to do that much harder. Nothing, no matter how horrible or unfair, could compare to giving them up at birth – it was her only comforting thought as she faced Regina and the decision she'd made.

'Do what you're so skilled at and make yourself at home,' Regina said with amusement.

Emma glanced round in fading hope that maybe Henry was there. Maybe something could change her mind before the plan became final. They didn't go far, but Regina was civil and open to conversation.

It was a start.

'I believe you came to see me,' she said when Emma didn't explain her visit.

'Right. Look, this isn't easy.' Emma started with painful honesty. 'I think that this...Whatever is between us needs to end.'

'At least, something we can agree on.' Regina smiled.

'I wanna make a deal with you about Henry.'

The mayor shook her head. 'I'm not making any deals with you-'

'I'm leaving town,' Emma cut in. 'We all are – me, Ava, and Nicholas. I'm their _mother_ and that's _my_ right.'

'What?' Regina's eyes narrowed but there was a flash of optimism in them.

'This, what we're doing is a problem.' She clenched her keys to stay focused, ignoring the woman's offended look. 'And we're gonna go. But I have conditions. Ava and Nicholas still get to see Henry. We get to visit and spent time, whatever. Nicholas can call him on weekends and we'll be back over the holidays.'

'And you get to see him; you're still in his life?' Regina's voice was quiet, arms crossing in defensive stance.

Why had she made it a closed adoption? Emma averted eyes, fighting tears.

She was right, back then, to assume even a glimpse of her kids would make it impossible to let them go. They were a part of her and Killian; what they shared resulted in three amazing kids with such love and forgiveness beyond anything either had known. None of it was fair.

Emma didn't back down, reminding Regina the world where she's not in Henry's life no longer existed. The mayor led her to the kitchen to discuss it further. She had to admit Regina was Henry's mother, which clenched Emma's jaw and threatened their civil manner – but she said it. She had to.

When Regina placed an apple turnover in a container, Emma stared at the offering.

When the Evil Queen threatened someone over a basket of apples, it was a sure sign not to eat them. When she smiled and kindly offered an apple turnover as a gift, was that worst?

Emma accepted it.

She placed the container on the passenger seat of her yellow bug, beside her sheriff badge and Graham's shoelaces she'd worn as a bracelet since his death. For once, she didn't want to run. She'd rather stay with her new roots and future, but her kids had to come first. They always came first.

For now, their happy life in Storybrooke was not meant to be.

'We're ready,' Ava said when Emma returned to the loft.

They had new suitcases by the door, topped with Nicholas' old teddy from the Tillmans. Emma stared at it, recalling the first night they'd spent in the loft. It was months ago and the time since felt both incredibly slow and yet too fast.

'What's that?' Nicholas eyed the apple turnover.

'Uh, just a going-away gift from Regina.' Emma put it on a plate, frowning at her own paranoia. 'For later.' She stared at the walkie in her hand.

'Can I do it?' Nicholas asked.

'Sure.' Emma handed it to him.

'Henry, come in,' he said, blue eyes tearful but voice strong. 'Urgent meeting at the bird's nest. I repeat, urgent meeting. Over.'

'Roger that,' Henry's reply crackled. 'Over and out.'

Emma headed upstairs to pace her bedroom – no, Mary Margaret's spare room. Doubts flooded back. She sank onto the edge of the mattress, head in her hands to steady her heartbeats. Refusing grief a moment to creep in, Emma tossed clothes into a bag and carried it downstairs.

There was a knock at the door and Ava rushed to answer.

'Everything okay?' Henry let Nicholas hug him tight.

'No.' Nicholas stared at his shoes, moving to stand with Ava and their luggage.

'It will be,' Emma promised, breathless in panic of saying goodbye to Henry for however long was necessary. 'Just...'

She stood in front of her son, brushing his brown hair then cupped Henry's face. His green eyes stared patiently at her. Emma tried to explain, but he fought her – insisted she couldn't trust Regina. Nicholas was distraught, sitting in a chair to wipe his eyes. Ava stared at Henry, afraid to blink.

Emma's walls were brought down, spilling her own tears and vulnerability as she hugged Henry close.

He refused to give up on the curse, convinced the apple turnover was poisoned so the Evil Queen could get rid of the saviour. Henry snatched it, backing away from his family. Nicholas jumped to his feet.

'What are you doing?' Emma's heart raced.

It was just a turnover, she reminded herself, but something in the back of her mind clicked into place – like a well-learned lesson from a forgotten memory.

'You may not believe in the curse,' Henry said, holding the pastry. 'But believe in _you_.'

'Henry, no!' Nicholas ran to his brother. 'Don't eat it.'

The boys wrestled with the turnover, but Henry took a bite of it – and collapsed.

Everything was a blur after that. Emma bagged the turnover, having Ava grab the car keys. They rushed Henry to the hospital where Emma yelled at Dr Whale.

Nicholas sobbed against the cover of his brother's storybook, shoving away Ava's hugs.

'Look, I understand you're frustrated, Ms Swan, I do, but I need something to treat,' Dr Whale said. 'And right now, there's no explanation. It's like...'

'Like magic.' Emma stared at Nicholas clutching the book of fairytales.

The Evil Queen and her poisoned apple, going to any lengths to stop heroes from winning. To stop anyone from breaking the curse. Magic came with a price. It always had, Emma realised, grabbing the storybook.

The bright flashes were intense, reaching deep inside Emma's mind for the truth kept hidden for twenty-eight years. She saw herself as an infant, with parents who loved her dearly but had to give her away for her best chance. There was a hurried fight of clashing swords. Then the curse was enacted.

Henry was right about everything.

Emma blinked as the compass burned in her pocket. She'd intended to leave it with Henry during their goodbye, as something to hold onto. Then she saw beyond the curse and magic; she saw the compass in Killian's hand, from the night the triplet's were conceived. Her memories of him flared with unshakeable clarity - the field of flowers where they met under a moonlit sky, up a hill by an ocean port and small village overlooked by a castle. They rode horses, fought with swords, and argued with fairies.

Killian wasn't in the land without magic.

Emma's parents sent her away when she was born, yet somehow she'd gone back at least several times during her childhood and teen years. She'd found her way to Killian, and believed deeply in her heart that she could do it again.

'Mum?' Ava hugged her side, staring with tearful eyes.

'It's real,' Emma gasped. 'Magic is real. The _curse_ is real.'

Science can't help Henry, but perhaps magic can. If Emma broke the curse, she'd be saving their family. They'd go back to their land and she'd find Killian. She'd do anything necessary to save her son's life.

The war against Regina was far from over.

* * *

Nicholas hadn't known something could hurt as much as seeing his brother lying in that hospital bed.

Emma had fought with Regina then they went to Gold for help. The boy clung to every bit of hope he could grab onto. Ava stood by a window, hugging Henry's book as she stared at the town. Nicholas was in a chair shifted as close to his brother as possible, gently holding Henry's hand and refusing to let go.

'I'm really, _really_ sorry, Henry.' Nicholas bit his lip to keep from crying again. 'I should've said it more – that I _believe_ you. I believed the curse and all of it. I should've told you. I should've been brave, like you were.'

'And I didn't listen to him,' Ava said hoarsely, refusing to turn from the window. 'He's my brother too. I was supposed to believe in him, no matter what. If we'd helped him - if I hadn't thought happy endings don't happen to real people, he wouldn't have had to...We could've _helped._ '

'Hey,' Emma marched into the room, sword at her side. 'You okay?' She kissed Nicholas' head, giving Ava a one-armed hug when she rushed over.

'Is he...' Nicholas' voice shook, nose drizzling despite his bunched tissues. 'Is Henry gonna...'

'No, and I won't let that happen,' Emma promised. 'This sword was your grandfather's.'

'Prince Charming?' Ava asked.

'Yeah. It's not _my_ sword – I don't even know what happened to my cutlass, but this is going to help.' Emma approached Henry's bed. 'We need magic and I've got a plan.'

She gently moved hair from his face, eyes sad but fiercely determined. Henry was pale and lay motionless, attached to medical equipment.

'Henry, you were right about the curse,' Emma said. 'I should have believed you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry...'

'We'll stay with him,' Ava stood by her. 'Go be a hero.'

Emma left and they reluctantly gave Regina a moment with Henry.

Nicholas stared at the storybook on his lap, startled when Mary Margaret came to keep them company. They returned to the ward - Nicholas refused to leave his brother's bedside chair again.

'Will you read to him?' Ava asked at their grandmother, Snow White. 'Maybe it'll help him find hope, to come back to us?'

'I was just thinking that. Good idea.' Mary Margaret accepted the book from Nicholas. 'How about Show White's story? It's full of hope.'

'That's a good one.' Ava agreed.

Mary Margaret – no, Snow, carefully sat at the edge of Henry's bed. She flipped open to a page and read.

Nicholas held his brother's hand and shuddered in effort not to cry. Everything hurt and it was exhausting. He tried to listen to Snow's words, but found no comfort in them.

Ava returned to the window, staring where they knew the harbour was. She was quiet and unreadable, which almost scared Nicholas more than anything else; his sister was always open and familiar, but she'd retreated as if hiding her soul from the world made everything hurt less. For the first time in his life, Ava was a stranger to him.

'And, yes, she was beyond hope, beyond saving,' Snow read. 'This was her end. When Prince Charming saw his beloved Snow White in her glass coffin, he knew all that was left was to say goodbye.'

Tears fell and Nicholas let them, slipping his hand out of Henry's. The boy hugged himself, scared and uncertain. He was so full of doubt that hope was no longer a concept he understood, lost in memories of Henry's laugh and eager excitement.

'He had to give her one last kiss,' Snow said, hesitating. 'And when he did, true love proved more powerful than any curse. A pulse of pure love shuddered out and engulfed the land, waking up Snow White and bringing light to the darkness.'

Nicholas stood from the chair. Turning his back on the bed, he went to stand with Ava. His blue eyes searched the clouds and buildings for any sign that maybe things would still be okay.

He didn't believe it would be.

A rapid beeping filled the room, urging Nurses and Dr Whale to rush in. Snow pulled the twins back, having to restrain Ava - who took on Emma's role of yelling at medical staff to do something.

Ushered outside Henry's room, Nicholas pressed palms to the glass wall to watch nurses frantically trying to save his brother. The boy's heart beat too fast and his tears were all used up.

Then everything stopped – the nurses' movements, the urgency in the air, and Henry himself.

 _'No!'_ Ava screamed. She spun round to bury herself in Snow's stunned embrace.

Nicholas didn't move, blue eyes wide as shock settled in. Rippling grief shot through and he clenched fists tight – a light burst nearby, raining shards of glass by a wall.

Emma and Regina ran in.

Nicholas zoned out in desperate attempt to process what happened. A burst of pure light and warmth pulsed through him, spreading beyond them and throughout the town.

Henry gasped a huge gulp of air in response to Emma's kiss to his forehead.

'Henry!' A wide grin on her face, Ava shoved by a nurse in hurry to stand by the bed.

Nicholas ran after her, almost slipping on the floor.

Others approached, disorientated but wanting to see Emma. Snow covered her mouth, sinking into a chair. Her eyes lifted to Emma in awe but hesitation.

'Charming,' Snow said emotionally and rushed out the room.

It dawned on Regina what happened. Henry confirmed that the curse was broken.

'That was true love's kiss, right?' Ava asked.

'Yeah.' Emma frowned, gaze turning to Regina. 'We're not finished.'

'No, I don't believe we are.' The queen inhaled a breath, tearfully moving to Henry's side. 'No matter what you think, no matter what anyone tells you, I _do_ love you.'

Regina fled.

Ignoring everyone else's protests, Nicholas crawled onto the bed and hugged his brother as much as he could without hurting Henry. The boys hopped onto the floor, giving Ava room to hug them both. Henry clung to Emma, thanking her and saying he loved her too. Nicholas stared at their mother with renewed admiration; her love for them was more powerful than any curse.

A nurse dropped a clipboard, eyes wide and fearful towards the window. Purple smoke moved through the town like an approaching beast, swallowing everything in its path.

'Is that bad?' Ava worried.

'No,' Emma said, protectively holding them close. 'It's magic. No matter what happens next, we're together now. We're a family and always will be. It's just going to get bigger.'

'I'm scared,' Nicholas shivered.

'It's okay.' Ava grabbed his hand and Henry's. 'Mum's right. We're stronger together. And now we're going to find our father.'

Purple smoke bled into the room to fill it. The triplets held tight to Emma, who was a pillar of strength and heroism, as everything they'd ever known was consumed within the return of magic.


	10. The Distance Between

**Author's Notes:** Apologies for the delay - weather here has been dangerously hot.

* * *

 **~ The Distance Between ~**

 ** _The Enchanted Forest_  
** _ **Many years ago...**_

Killian ran as far as tired legs carried him, which was beyond the port and up a grassy hill. He was faster than other ten-year-olds, and could even outrun Liam - who was a whole three years older.

It didn't matter if he only got so far, as long as he wasn't on that ship.

The boy paused under moonlight to catch his breath. Out in the field of pale flowers was a girl with blonde hair. He couldn't clearly see her face, but she looked sad. Killian walked through grass and petals until close enough to realise the girl was about his age. He wondered if he was faster than her too.

'Hello,' he said. 'Are you okay?'

The girl shrugged. She stared at a broken flower in her hand – a sort of rose but prettier.

'I'm Killian,' he added, averting blue eyes from her dried tears and bruised arm.

He glanced high at bright stars and the moon, calmer under their glowing constellations. Liam had promised to teach him how to navigate them properly.

'I'm Emma,' she answered. 'Did you run away too?'

'Yeah.' He sat on the grass. The roses were tall there – was Emma using them to hide? 'I ran as soon as we reached the docks. I came on a cargo ship. The big one. Did you see it?'

Emma shook her head. 'I came from the forest, but I don't remember there being a forest.'

'Maybe it moved?' Killian glanced behind them, shuddering at blackness beyond trees and bushes. He had to search inside himself for the brave his father said was there – or was that also a lie?

'Forests don't move.' She rolled eyes, but looked over her shoulder too. 'What were you running from?'

'Everything.' Killian frowned, plucking grass. 'Father left my brother and me. He sold us to a mean man named Captain Silver. We have to work _all_ the time. All of me hurts, even inside.' He points to his chest. Sadness rested in his heart – the same sadness he recognised in Emma's eyes as hers raised to meet his.

'I was left too,' she said quietly. 'As a baby. My parents left me in a blanket on the side of a road.'

She offered him the broken rose, though Killian wasn't sure what to do with it. He thanked her anyway. He'd have to put it somewhere safe.

'In my new foster home, they wanted me to stay in my room all the time.' Emma sniffled. 'They're not very nice.'

'So you ran away.' Killian understood. 'Good plan.'

'Until I got lost.' She huffed. _'Where_ are we?'

'I don't know. I'm lost too, but it's okay. When the sun comes up, my brother will find me and I won't be lost anymore,' he said.

'Won't he take you back to the ship and its mean captain and the hard work?'

'Yeah.' Killian bowed his head. 'But I've nowhere else to go. I don't have a home. And I can't leave my brother; he's all I've got.'

'Must be nice to have someone like that.' Emma leaned back to look at the sky. 'Can I come with you?'

'You're _free.'_ He shook his head. 'Living on a ship is cool, but that one's not a nice place. They'll make you work until you can't work anymore. I don't want you to be trapped too.'

'What's it like then? The ship.'

'I'll show you.' Killian stood, hurrying to the hill's edge. The cargo ship had plentiful sails and paint that shone in moonlight. He pointed to the village port where men unloaded crates and brought back supplies.

Everyone looked the same far away.

'I wish _I_ was a captain. Then I can have my own ship and make the rules,' Killian said, as he and Emma sat on the hilltop together. 'Then nothing can hurt me ever again.'

They watched people until there were no people left to see. Sharing stories to pass the time, there wasn't room for tears.

Sunshine peeked above the watery horizon, casting warmth over the two children smiling as if the ocean gave the answers they sought.

'I should go,' Emma said, turning to the forest. 'Do you think I'll ever see you again?'

'I hope so.' Killian held the rose she'd given him. It was broken but he liked it better than those still in the field. It was special because it was from her. 'Bye, Emma.'

'Bye.' She waved, running into the forest and vanishing.

 _'Killian!'_

He spun quickly at his brother's voice, blushing at being caught. Liam was a bit taller, but acted much older. Killian felt guilty when his brother saved him from a lot of the harder work, but knew he wasn't strong enough to compete.

'There you are, little brother.' Liam placed a firm hand on his shoulder, relieved. 'You've got to stop running of like that. Are you okay?'

'Yeah.' Killian shrugged him off, glancing at the forest. 'I made a friend.'

No matter how hard or scary things got, Killian always had his brother. He hoped Emma would find someone like that too.

~ T ~

Things were simpler when he was ten. Barely a teenager, Killian learned hard labour and taunting villagers weren't the only torture life had to offer.

There was a newer member of Captain Silver's crew – a stowaway the captain put to work instead of tossing him overboard. Fishy Fred wasn't his real name, but he stank of fish and always gave the Jones brothers a hard time. Killian hated him.

'Pick it up, boy!'

Killian glared at the spilled bucket wasting an hour's work over the deck. The afternoon sun was hot on his back and neck, despite the ship being docked partially in shade of a large village. Liam was off running errands. Captain Silver and most the crew were headed to a local tavern. There wasn't anyone to stand up for Killian, so he'd have to do it himself.

He hadn't faced Fishy Fred on his own before, but Liam stood up to people all the time.

'No,' Killian angrily told Fishy Fred. 'You kicked it on purpose! _You_ pick it up.'

It happened so fast.

It was easy for a full-grown sailor to shove a skinny and scared thirteen-year-old boy against a mast. Killian winced as his head smacked solid wood. Blue eyes wide, he ducked to avoid a fist. He saw a sword by some rope and scurried to grab it, trying to stop his hands from shaking. He was tired of being pushed around like he was nothing, as if he belonged to someone other than himself.

Fishy Fred glanced at the aimed sword. The man laughed, not in amusement but with a roar of hilarity.

'I'll stab you, I mean it!' Killian yelled, feeling taller than he was. 'Stay away from me.'

'Fair shot.' Fishy Fred unsheathed his cutlass. 'If you last two minutes against me, I'll lay off.'

'And you'll clean the deck.' Killian indicated to the spilled bucket. 'Deal?'

Fishy Fred's response was a lunge of his cutlass.

He dodged, swinging his sword around but hitting a crate. Killian hadn't even chipped the wood, but he was confident. Liam sometimes practised sword-fighting with some of the crew while Killian watched and cheered with rapt attention.

He got in a few good lunges that made Fishy Fred jump back, but Killian wasn't watching the blade and his footwork was unsteady. His sword was knocked away and he crashed onto the deck. Back soaked by his own spilled bucket, frustrated tears stung his eyes. A boot pressed on the boy's chest, pinning him there.

As the cutlass pointed at his throat, Killian realised he was about to die.

'Look at you.' Fishy Fred maliciously leaned over him. 'You're just a _little boy_ – a cast-aside orphan with no friends, no one who cares if you drown at sea. No one but that angry brother of yours who at least stands a chance to make a name for himself one day.'

Killian growled but didn't move or speak, his blue eyes fixed on the blade. He had a friend – her name was Emma. They shared lunch and books together sometimes, but he hadn't seen her in a while.

'You're a nobody, Jones. You're _nothing_ -'

The cutlass flew from Fishy Fred's hand, sharp end spearing a crate.

By the gangplank, a wide-eyed girl ducked from view.

'Get off him, you bastard!' Liam thundered up the gangplank. He was fifteen, but in a fit of fury Liam was capable of anything to protect his brother. He punched Fishy Fred, who went down faster than Killian had.

Fishy Fred snarled, hand raised to his bruising jaw. 'You bloody-'

'Choose your words wisely,' Liam said darkly. 'You just hurt my brother and the captain's on his way back.'

'Then perhaps Captain Silver would want to hear about the mess your little brother made on the deck he was meant to be cleaning?' Fishy Fred got to his feet to use height to his advantage, but Liam wouldn't be bullied or intimidated when his brother's life was just being threatened.

'I dare say the captain cares more about the cargo you're meant to be overseeing than some water spilled on an already-wet deck.' Liam offered an arm to Killian, pulling him up. 'All right, little brother?'

'Younger,' Killian corrected. 'I'm not a _little boy._ '

While the man and his brother argued, which Liam was easily the victor of, Killian left the ship. He didn't run this time.

He stood by some crates, where he'd seen blonde hair when the cutlass had flown from Fishy Fred's hand.

'Thank you,' he said, nervously scratching behind his ear. 'I don't know what you did, but thanks.'

She stood and their eyes met.

'Emma!' Killian gasped, grin forming. 'How'd you find me?'

She shrugged. 'Just did. I always do,' she said. 'You look hungry.' Emma handed him half a loaf of bread, carefully keeping it hidden from view of the marketplace.

'Thanks.' He inhaled its freshness. Having stolen from the baker before, Killian knew it was the good stuff. 'We're leaving soon. There's another trade port out East. But I'm happy you're here. Do you think you could find me again?'

'I'll try.' Emma promised.

Her smile was brighter than the sunrise they'd watched together on the flowery hill years ago. The warmth of a smile like that was Killian's reminder to hold onto hope, like a lighthouse beacon calling to a lost ship.

One day, it may even lead him home.

* * *

Killian and Emma shared many adventures over the years growing up, more so since the day Captain Silver marooned Fishy Fred for smuggling pixie dust. Liam was especially smug that day, but the end of Fishy Fred's torment wasn't enough for Killian to share his secret – to tell his brother about Emma.

Freshly fourteen, Killian ignored drunken laughter below as he sat on the roof of a tavern. He watched the streets carefully.

'All clear,' he said. 'No guards.'

'And our bounty increases.' Emma dropped a loaf of bread into a small sack. 'I brought drinks this time.' She added two bottles of water.

He frowned at the odd containers. 'No rum?' Killian joked.

'Rum's gross.' Emma tied the sack's intentionally-long string around her waist.

She slid down tiles and landed her boots on cobbled stone. He jumped after her, wincing when a man in royal armour rounded a corner.

'There they are!' shouted the guard.

'Too slow, mate,' Killian mocked, turning on heels to run through the town square.

He was still faster than everyone else. He and Emma zigzagged through the market, trying to avoid people but knocking many panicked chickens onto the path.

Killian hoped she saw him when he impressively leaped a wandering pig.

'Stop, thieves!' The guard chased them, upsetting merchants and more chickens. 'The king will have your heads.'

'The king will have to catch us first!' Emma called back, snatching an apple from a stall's basket. 'Catch this.' She paused to toss the fruit at the guard.

The man yelled, hand over his face. The teenagers ducked round a cart of hay and headed into a stone alley. They breathlessly darted out, and halted at the edge of town where two guards waited by construction supplies and fencing sticks.

The thrill of their chase instantly vanished.

'No,' Emma whispered, gasp escaping her throat. She acted fast, grabbing wooden sticks for her and Killian.

The first armoured man caught up. The royal guards each drew swords – smirking at the young pair wielding fence-sticks.

'Watch the blade,' Emma reminded him.

'I know.' Killian grumbled. 'Let's not forget who taught who.'

Swords where sharp enough to cost him a hand if he wasn't careful. Killian risked a glance at Emma, who bit her lip nervously. Many afternoons spent sparring and improving their natural skills for sword-fighting prepared their reflexes not hearts. The guards wore armour, but the teenagers were braver and stronger together.

Emma ducked a sword, aiming her stick at vulnerable spots of the armour. She'd learned fast. They fought together, whacking guards in faces or especially sensitive areas that almost made Killian apologise. The armour was heavy and slowed them enough for two teenagers to battle their way through the confrontation enough to flee.

Refusing to leave him behind, Emma grabbed Killian's hand to pull him along. They abandoned the sticks and headed for a nearby forest.

'The tree!' Killian yelled.

They climbed a tall tree with cloud-like clumps of leaves perfect for hiding in. High on success and teamwork, the pair grinned while catching their breaths. Slipping a band from her wrist, Emma tied back her hair. She checked the sack, and shared their thieved meal as if it was fit for royalty.

He wondered how long they had this time.

'The ship heads out in three days, right?' Emma sipped her water. 'I'll leave then.'

'Do you have to?' Killian whined. 'I want you to stay. It's more fun when you're here. I like...I mean, I like you being with me.' He blushed, scratching behind an ear.

Emma watched him intently. 'Okay. I'll stay.' She nodded.

She reached for the sack - their hands touched. Killian stared at her fingers, then glanced at eyes greener than the forest around them. What would it be like to hold her hand in a non-running-from-danger way? She bit her lip. What would kissing Emma be like?

He hadn't expected to find out.

She shyly leaned closer on their huge branch, shifting the sack to tie it nearby. Time slowed as they kept eye contact, Killian hesitantly placing his hand over hers. Their noses bumped and foreheads were tickled by leaves. He shuddered when a leaf touched his neck like a crawly spider. He hastily tried to move it and got swatted in the face by the leafy twig.

'Might wanna add a little charm, Jones,' Emma teased.

His black hair was overdue for a cut, but he blushed as she lifted a leaf from it. Emma had to re-adjust herself in the tree to avoid falling out.

'And where's your grace, Swan?' Killian rolled eyes.

He was so nervous it was like something attacked inside his stomach. He touched her face, surprised when she didn't pull away. He uncertainly pressed lips to hers, heart pounding in his ears with a thrill more exciting than fleeing guards or sparring swords.

Their first kiss was wet and awkward and the greatest moment of his life.

It happened high in a tree while royal guards searched somewhere below – and that wasn't the surprising part. He was surprised when Emma kissed him back. She gripped his collar to pull him closer, moving as if without possibility of falling from their branch. She liked kissing him. Maybe she liked him too?

Emma didn't stay.

Three days later, Killian and Liam re-boarded Captain Silver's ship to set sail for another port. They were older, but their jobs no more or less respectable than cleaning decks or carrying heavy cargo. When the anchor was pulled up and the ship turned to the horizon, Killian glanced sadly at the docks. Emma was nowhere to be seen.

He went below deck to sulk in his hammock. Remembering their kiss kept Killian hopeful. If he'd known that wasn't a one-time thing, he'd have managed a smile through the days ahead.

~ T ~

At sixteen, Emma and Killian moved beyond kissing and holding hands. They never defined their bond, just tried to enjoy every moment they shared – whether it was spent watching sunsets or kissing in trees.

They'd also outgrown simple thievery when their skills allowed for bigger ambitions.

'I look ridiculous,' Emma growled, smoothing her red gown. She peered closer at the full-length mirror, checking her braided hair wasn't out of place. 'No, I look like an escaped Disney character.'

'An escaped _what_?' Killian leaned back into the room, shutting the door used to keep look-out.

He joined her by the mirror of the room they'd scaled a castle wall to use. She was beautiful but past experience taught him that an attempt to tell her would reduce him to a stuttering and blushing mess. It would be a waste of his suit, which highlighted his dashing rapscallion looks.

He nervously fussed with his hair.

'Nothing.' Emma sighed, slipped a spare band off her wrist. 'Here.'

Killian eyed it, then the mirror. 'Fine.' He tied his hair back so it wouldn't get in the way if Emma kissed him - or if he fell on his butt in realisation he possessed no remarkable dancing ability whatsoever.

'You ready?' she asked, having checked outside the room for any sign of trouble.

'Are you, love?' Killian tucked his hand into hers.

'No.' Emma bit her lip. 'But let's do this. I want to know what the fuss is about.'

'As you wish, milady.'

Emma rolled eyes, poorly hiding amusement. 'Which way?' she asked quietly, leaving the tower's room.

The stone corridor was huge. They followed an enchanted orchestra to its enormous ballroom. Slipping by some guests, the teenagers ducked to the buffet that gave them pause. Killian eyed the wine.

'They're always drinking when I'm trying to work,' he complained.

'This isn't work.' Emma held his hands in hers, walking a few steps backwards to the dancing floor. 'You gonna dance with me, Jones, or eat the kingdom out of pantry?'

'I'd hate to keep a lady waiting,' he replied. Killian straightened his posture, trying to look confident as if he knew what he was doing.

The ballroom was adorned with silk-curtained, tall windows streaming moonlight over dancing guests. Floor sparkled and silverware shone under chandeliers - he made the mistake of looking and almost stumbled into a prince due to temporarily blindness. Killian frowned, too aware of not belonging there among royalty and those with influence or wealth to their names.

Liam's rough lessons paid off. Killian led their dance and discovered another thing Emma was a natural at. If only he could focus on co-ordinating his feet, instead of how stunning she looked and how impossibly lucky he was.

'Does this count as this a date?' she asked.

'Oh. Er...' Killian winced, stepping on his own foot. 'I don't know. What'd you say a date was again?'

'Never mind.' She averted eyes. 'This is perfect enough.'

He smiled, spinning her round. 'Where do you go?' he finally asked.

'Back to foster care,' Emma said. 'I don't know. I leave here and then I'm there. _Alone.'_

When they first met, there was sadness in her eyes that hadn't faded. Killian wanted to make her happy enough to forget what she ran away from – sometimes he was successful, but others it was a reminder that all good things had to end.

She always found him, but was he doomed to always be losing her?

Killian pressed his forehead to hers, pulling Emma closer as enchanted music slowed. He closed eyes to memorise their perfect moment. The royal ballroom was filled with people who became someone. He was a fraud in that room, but with Emma at his side Killian could belong anywhere.

'Time to go,' Emma hissed.

'What?' He blinked.

Two guards conversed with a concerned guest. They pointed to Emma and Killian – who ran. Their trip wasn't planned or scoped out, making the castle a maze of stone and dead-ends.

'This way!' Emma pushed him into the dressing room they'd stolen clothes from.

He locked the door and they hastily shed layers. Emma was thrilled to kick aside the corset. Killian watched in equal relief, sticking a personal promise to make sure Liam never found out his brother knew how to tie a corset better than a girl.

Back in leather, the teenagers climbed out the tower window. It wasn't too high and their grappling hook remained strong. Fleeing down the wall and rope, with Killian insisting Emma go first despite her protests, they headed into town to blend with merchants and drunken sailors.

They weren't safe yet.

Killian led Emma by her hand so they didn't make unnecessary noise with conversation. They reached the docks. Clouds drifted over the moon and its countless stars. The cargo ship was familiar to Emma now; they snuck aboard and Killian tried to keep her from view below deck.

Laughter erupted from a room used for gambling and sharing meals. He passed the open doorway, gesturing Emma to rush by when no one looked. Liam glanced from a bucket he was washing dishes in, rolling his eyes at Killian.

In his quarters, Killian carefully shut the door and turned to smile at Emma lounging in his hammock. She moved over and he lay with her, staring at the ceiling's wooden boards.

'I can stay one more night.' Emma sleepily leaning her head to his shoulder. 'I'll need to leave in the morning.'

'Captain Silver wants to go somewhere secret. No cargo,' Killian said. 'He's been planning for ages, but not even _Liam_ knows what's going on. A storm's coming though. I hope it's nothing bad.'

'Killian?' Emma's serious voice made him shift to face her in the hammock. 'I'm...I don't know if I can keep finding you. I don't know how this works.'

'But you always do find me.' He shrugged. 'I've yet to see you fail.'

'Maybe you should come find me?' Emma joked.

He turned away, eyes guiltily looking anywhere else. 'I've tried. I fail every time. It's like you just disappear, like...I don't know, _magic.'_

'You tried to find me?' she asked softly.

'Yeah.' He frowned, disappointed at himself. Killian glanced at Emma, who smiled warmly.

'It means a lot to me that you _tried_.' She closed her eyes, wriggling closer to use his shoulder as her pillow.

Hearing footsteps, Killian tosses a blanket over them and shuts his eyes tight to fake sleep. He knew that "why do I have a weird brother?" sigh anywhere, but Liam walked away.

Killian's secret was safe.

* * *

Work was tedious most days, but seventeen-year-old Killian remembered when it was hard and torturous. Back then, weight was heavier and his muscles tired sooner - either he'd gotten stronger or the job got easier.

He missed the work now. It'd been weeks without hard labour, yet something hurt more than carrying cargo or scrubbing decks.

'Is it gone?' Emma whispered. The hilt of her sword pressed to his leather as she leaned over, risking a peek round the apple cart they hid behind.

She ducked back, tears in her eyes.

They'd been through a lot in their lives – together and apart, but nothing matched the fear and horror of witnessing an Ogre kill people. He'd rather face the storm again – the one Captain Silver sent them into for a sapphire that cost the crew and captain their lives. It was a miracle Liam and Killian survived, and he hoped for another such miracle now.

Ogres were huge and loud, but there was no certainty of safety just because it'd moved beyond a tree-line.

Afternoon arrived before they decided they could leave, though neither Emma nor Killian moved. They didn't want to see death and grief on the other side of their cart. Villagers wept and tried to clean, while the teenagers stayed put. Killian searched inside himself, trying and failing to be brave.

'Tell me about your dream,' he said, longing for any distraction from the Ogre-induced horror replaying in his mind. 'The one that woke you last night.'

'Really?' Emma huffed. 'Fine. It was just something from foster care, years ago.'

'Before we met?' he asked, reaching blindly above them for an apple.

Emma instinctively didn't like apples so he'd stopped eating them too, in case she'd want to kiss him yet he had apple-breath. He tossed the apple and caught it, a habit she'd given him after a long morning spent waiting by the docks for a late supply run.

'Yeah,' Emma said. 'The night before we met, according to my dream, there was a man in my room. He watched me all creepy-like, but wasn't a real person...Some sort of black figure, like a living shadow. It was weird.'

'But it was just a dream?' Killian dropped his apple in fright when a woman came into view.

'You kids all right?' she asked.

'Yeah.' Emma nodded shakily, her hand finding Killian's. 'We're just-'

They jumped to their feet at the sound of Liam's incoherent voice behind their cart.

'Killian!' He rushed to them. 'I heard what happened. Are you hurt?'

'We're fine, brother.' Killian shuddered, blue eyes fixed on a pool of blood nearby. It was only a matter of time before these attacks led to an Ogre war.

'Let's get you out of here.' He indicated to the teenagers, thanking nearby villagers.

A pair of horses waited nearby. Liam adjusted his Navy uniform as he saddled one. Killian climbed onto the second, offering his hand to help Emma. She hugged his middle, and they glanced at Liam – who hadn't budged.

Liam smiled at Emma then raised an eyebrow at Killian. 'This is her?'

'I thought he didn't know about me?' Her whispering tickled his ear.

'So did I.' Killian blushed. 'Uh, Liam – this is Emma. She's my...We're sort of, I mean...Can we just bloody go?' he muttered, staring at the ground.

Liam was amused, but nodded and nudged his horse into a gallop. They rushed along a forest path, avoiding fallen logs and carriages on their way to a seaside town.

'Is that the Jewel of the Realm?' Emma gasped, sliding off their horse to admire the tall ship.

'Aye, that she is.' Killian nodded. 'Liam's a great captain too.'

Emma followed the brothers, keeping close out of habit though this time she was invited aboard.

'Now my little brother's returned, we can set sail!' Liam declared to the crew.

 _'Younger,'_ Killian muttered.

Shore leave was over.

He went below deck to change into his own Navy uniform with immense pride. Killian tied his hair back with a ribbon then straightened his collar. He was no less a fraud there than in a ballroom, but he'd make it real. This was his chance to be better – to finally make a name for himself. He had honour and hope.

'Starboard.' Emma peered round the door's frame. 'Which way's starboard?'

He pointed right with one hand, other busy with buttons.

'That way, got it,' she mumbled, drawing on her hand with one of her magic self-inking quills. A "pen" she'd called it.

'What are you doing?' He glanced at her adorable, crinkled-nose frown.

'Liam put me to work,' Emma said with a pleased raise of her head. 'I'm one of the _crew_ now. It's kind of awesome.'

'But you're not in the Navy,' he said.

'The king doesn't know that.' She winked. 'It's just until I leave.'

Those few weeks were the longest Killian and Emma spent together at once.

Liam commanded the crew as if born for the role of captain. Motivated by Emma's support and pride, Killian put in extra effort to do well – keeping sailors in check and making sure no one brought aboard rum or other causes of bad form. He'd tried to get her a dignified job that wasn't something he'd been forced to endure growing up, but she insisted it was fine. She shared his love of the sea and sailing its waters. Liam was fair and seemed to enjoy having Emma on board, though a few members of the crew were wary at first.

It wasn't free-sailing, however. They had to deliver secret documents for the king, so Liam kept the ship out of view of a large town for a few days. They rowed boats to reach port and Killian was fortunate to be relieved of his duty soon after. He had something special planned, but was so nervous he almost fell out the boat he and Emma stole.

They returned to the ship by sundown.

'You won't get in trouble for this, will you?' she asked.

'Don't worry, love,' Killian assured her. 'Liam won't mind.'

The ship was eerie when empty but not at port, tucked away in a huge cavern not far from the town. No one was there but them, hidden away in their own little world.

'Wait here,' he said.

Killian rushed below deck to his personal quarters. It was supposed to be the captain's quarters, but Liam gave it to him instead. He and lit placed candles anywhere they'd fit – on shelves, the table, and windowsills.

Checking himself in the mirror, Killian set the table with food he'd stocked from town - food he'd actually bought. The silverware, however...What Liam didn't know couldn't hurt them.

'Why are you being weird?' Emma whined.

He led her to the ladder, insisting she keep her eyes closed.

'I'm trying to be _romantic.'_ Killian huffed, adjusting her to face the prepared meal and candles.

He took a quick swig of rum – liquid courage and all that, then hid the flask in his wardrobe.

'Try to act surprised, okay?' he added.

'I'm surprised you're trying to be romantic,' she teased, but he saw her fidget.

Killian hesitated, looking around the room. Was it too much?

He didn't know if they were actually a couple or if he was allowed to make romantic gestures. He'd never done something like that before. It wasn't like the time he'd meticulously made her breakfast in bed (hammock), or grappling up a castle tower because she wanted to see a royal ball but thought she'd never be invited to one, or searching half the realm for books she'd enjoy reading, or even months earlier when they'd gone horse-riding to have a picnic in the field where they'd met.

This candlelit dinner was a big deal; a real date.

Emma opened her eyes and gasped. 'Oh, wow!' She was giddy with enthusiasm. She spun to hug Killian and he could breathe in relief.

'Where's that...Ah.' She opened his closet, grabbing the flask to take a sip of rum.

'How'd you-?'

'I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you,' she joked. 'C'mon, I know _all_ your hiding places, Killian. And it's not half bad.' Emma placed the flask on the table, eyeing the burgers he'd made.

'Are these okay?' He helped Emma into her seat like a gentleman should, and sat across the table. 'I know they're supposed to be warm. I used chicken instead, and I've no bloody idea what ketchup is, but...'

'Killian, they're great.' She nodded, taking a big bite. 'This is awesome! I can't believe you actually _made_ burgers, here. If it didn't taste _so good_ I'd accuse you of magic.'

Candles flickered to the gentle rock of the ship as they ate and talked and laughed. He gave her a vibrant rose – it smelled amazing and fruity. She blushed at the gift and hugged him tight. She was doing that a lot lately and he loved it.

'It's supposed to be magic,' he said, putting a cheap vase on the table with some water from one of those bottles she brought. 'It took forever to find it. It's supposed to make sure two people are never forcefully separated, so long as the bond between them is alive and strong. They'll always find their way back to each other.'

'Do you believe that?' Emma stared at the rose, placing it in the vase. It glowed brighter in moonlight, giving no doubt it had some form of magic in its blue petals.

'I hope so.' Killian pressed his forehead to hers. 'I never want to lose you, Emma. I want to spend all my life with you.'

Emma kissed him, arms looping his neck as she drew him closer. Whatever else he was going to say was lost in her touch and warmth. He was safe with her; everything was going to be okay. She listened and understand the pain deep inside – Emma was his best friend and something that didn't have a name he was brave enough to speak.

Emma grabbed her backpack near his bed, getting a strange device that played music when she pushed something. They danced, unafraid to be silly as they waved arms or pulled faces at each other. Killian kicked off his boots and shed a jacket to get comfortable.

There was an object in his pocket he'd almost forgotten.

'What's that?' she asked.

'My compass.' He stared at it. The needle moved as he placed it on Emma's palm. 'It belonged to my mother. She taught me how to sail but I was scared so she gave me this, said it would always lead me home.'

'It's lovely.' Emma smiled.

'I want you to have it,' he said. 'I know when you leave you're alone, so maybe this will remind you I'm always gonna wait for you to come back. To find me again.'

'Killian, I can't.' She hugged the compass to her chest. 'It belonged to your mother. I'd do anything for something from my parents.'

'Please?' Killian brushed blonde hair from her face, eyes and heart sincere. 'It'd mean a lot to me, knowing there's a part of me – and of us – that'll always be with you.'

'Okay,' Emma whispered, tucking it into her pocket. She exhaled an emotional breath, hand touching his buttoned collar. 'I wish I had something to give you. I mean, look – you're a _Navy Lieutenant_ now. That's amazing and I'm _so_ proud of you. I knew you'd make a name for yourself. Anyone who doubted you was stupid; Fishy Fred was wrong about everything. You've got a great future, Killian – but I'm still just an orphaned girl who doesn't matter...'

'You matter to me.' He kissed her hand, his own emotions fighting to better him. Her words were the nicest things anyone ever said to him since his mother died. 'My future's only great if you're in it. You're my happy ending, Emma. You're my _home.'_

Her wide eyes filled with tears. She rushed forward, kissing and hugging him close. She pulled off her jacket, placing the compass beside the vase and its rose. The teenagers sat on Killian's bed, too entangled in their romance to notice blue petals turning to powder and being absorbed by the compass.

He gained a new definition of "magic" that night, which didn't fade even as morning sunshine beamed into his face. He blinked in complaint, then sat up to see Liam's unamused face shooting him disapproval. Killian could attempt an excuse, but it was pointless; his clothes littered the floor and half-melted candles occupied every available shelf-space.

'Get dressed.' Liam sighed. 'There's work to be done.'

Emma was gone – her warmth, her belongings, and the compass.

Killian exhaled, falling back onto his bed with a wide grin that was probably permanent.

'Brother,' he said blissfully. 'I think I'm in love.'

Liam rolled his eyes, amused by the worst-kept secret in all the realms.

~ T ~

Five years went by and Emma hadn't returned.

Lieutenant jacket shed, Killian stood by the railing of his ship - the newly-renamed Jolly Roger. His brother was dead. He watched the ocean's horizon, though Liam's body was long gone beneath its depths.

'Where are we headed, Captain?' someone asked.

'Set sail for the King's village,' Killian angrily replied. 'We'll bleed him of _every ounce_ of treasure to his name. No quarter and _no mercy._ Weigh anchor!'

'Aye, Captain!'

Killian held his head high as he crossed the deck, heading below to his quarters. The Captain's quarters, with bitter irony. He kicked off boots and anything that remained of his Lieutenant ways.

He should've known this would happen; all good things come to an end.

He yelled, shoving plates and books off the table in a fit of rage. Sinking to the floor beside his bed, Killian drowns in the feeling of being completely alone, missing the one person who made everything okay. He glanced at a fallen book. He gently adjusted the broken rose, stored in its pages since the night he met Emma. It was flat and dry, turned an unpleasant shade of gold.

Killian tucked the rose away, shoving the book into a drawer underneath his bed.

'You deserve more than me,' he said, voice breaking. 'I've got nothing left to give.' He hung his head, sobs breaking loose.

It took a while to stagger to his feet, but his crew awaited orders from their captain. He made the rules now. Killian intended to kill the king responsible for sending his brother to his death in Neverland.

Maybe then the pain would hurt a little less.

Murder was another point of no return – a line he and Emma were careful not to cross. Many other lines were crossed since he met her, for the better, he'd hoped, but now he knew their time together was a silly fantasy.

He'd tried to be a better man for his brother and for Emma, but neither were there now. He couldn't measure up. Killian sipped rum, glaring at the flask before throwing it into his open closet. He sat on the edge of his bed. His eyes stung with every good memory he tried to hold onto, from a time in his life when he'd taken love and acceptance for granted.

Killian was lost - and this time no one came to find him.

* * *

 _Review? Next chapter returns to Emma and the broken curse, but now you know their history._


	11. Crossing Realms

**Author's Note:** Now the curse is broken, some names may change _("Snow" instead of "Mary Margaret")_ or alternate _(Gold / Rumpelstiltskin)._ If this ever becomes distracting or annoying, please let me know.

* * *

 **~ Crossing Realms ~**

Magic tingled Emma's skin as it flooded the room. When smoke cleared, she opened her eyes and released the triplets. There were no forests or castles, just Storybrooke's hospital where her son almost died.

Pushing down disappointment to their unchanged surroundings, she had Nicholas help Henry get dressed. She held her daughter's hand, leaning her cheek to the girl's blonde hair. Ava was in shock – Emma led her outside the ward to a vacant corridor, allowing the girl space to process that her brother was alive and fairytales were real.

Emma called Corey's number, but he didn't answer. She sank into a seat, raking hands through her hair and exhaling a long breath to keep from panicking. Her mind was still catching up with what happened and all her resurfaced memories.

Ava sat beside her, quieter than she'd ever been.

'What now?' Nicholas asked, hurrying to join them.

'Are you going to find your parents?' Henry added.

Emma groaned; she'd forgotten that aspect of breaking the curse. She'd wanted her parents so badly growing up and now they were real people she could talk to or...No, it was too much to deal with on top of everything else.

She was sent away from the Enchanted Forest as a baby – time froze for twenty-eight years, so how was it possible for her to grow up with Killian?

Emma led the triplets into town. She needed answers and to make sure everyone was okay. She didn't run when she saw her parents hugging friends in the main street. Snow White and Prince Charming. Names of everyone else mixed as she decided what to use that wouldn't add confusion.

They didn't notice her or the kids approach, giving Emma precious time to brace herself and force aside nervousness.

'So what do we do now?' Ruby asked.

'Now?' Snow looked to David. 'Now I find my daughter.'

'So it's true,' Emma blurted out.

Their tearfully expressed emotions so deep it threw Emma's composure. They weren't older and wiser than her, but she finally had the chance to know them and understand why they'd given her up. She didn't know how to handle any of it or what it was like to have parents.

She tried to ignore it but somewhere inside was also anger. Her parents were in Storybrooke the whole time, waiting for her yet unaware she existed. It took twenty-eight years of her life to know anything or meet them because they'd decided to send her away with nothing but a blanket. Snow White and Prince Charming were heroes, but something didn't settle with Emma - something painful and frustrating she wasn't ready to deal with.

Snow cupped her face and Emma couldn't make eye contact. Her mother pulled her into a gentle but firm embrace.

'You _found_ us,' Snow said, voice breaking.

She was surprised, but mostly confused. Emma closed eyes, absorbing the moment and surrendering to her inability to speak or comprehend what happened. David hugged them both, his hand rested behind Emma's head – how many times had she done that to Nicholas, or Ava, or even Henry? It was a connection she hadn't expected.

Their embrace was warm and safe – everything she'd dreamed it'd be. They fought to stay strong, which she heard in their uneven breaths. Emma didn't know how to react or where they'd go from there. Was she supposed to say something? She placed hands on Snow's back, biting her lip in reminder to keep her own tears hidden. If she cried, she'd never stop.

In that moment, Emma wasn't grown up – in her heart, she was the little girl who yearned for the love and safety of her parents.

'Grandpa?' Henry asked, turning Snow's tears into laughter.

Emma reluctantly pulled back and smiled at her son, mentally cursing his timing. She hadn't wanted to let go yet, and bit her lip as Snow held her hand. David hugged Henry tight, then Ava, and Nicholas. His immediate acceptance and love for her kids warmed Emma's heart. She'd often imagined Killian doing the same, which re-focused her on more important things than trying to decide what having parents her age would be like.

'She did it.' Henry told David. 'She saved you.'

'Mum's a hero.' Ava grinned, clutching Emma's other hand.

'She saved all of us,' Snow said proudly.

'I...Well...' Emma stuttered. Now she wanted to run.

It was too weird and scary. She accepted magic was a real thing, and maybe she was the saviour - but a hero? No, that wasn't her.

They had no idea what she'd done and who she used to be.

'Uh, then why are we still here?' Leroy asked.

Emma welcomed the topic change and listened carefully.

How did she get to Killian all those years? There was nothing in her head to explain it. Magic must be the cause for both her travels across realms and then forgetting how. She couldn't ask Regina, was still furious at Rumpelstiltskin, and avoided making eye contact with the Blue Fairy. She hoped Blue didn't realise Emma was the same girl who once argued with her about not sharing magic.

And yet she'd wished on a blue star candle before Henry knocked on her door in Boston...

'Mum?' Ava nudged her. 'Are you going to help them?'

'Yeah.' She nodded. 'But there's a lot to figure out. I need you to go with Ruby, Red, whoever, while I deal with this.' Emma sent the kids to Granny's Diner, knowing they'd be taken care of.

Dr Whale led a mob against Regina. After reminding them she was still sheriff, and locking Regina in a cell at the station for safety, Emma busied herself with evading any subject of her parents – and Snow's persistence in wanting to talk. There wasn't time for that. While it wasn't the conversation her mother sought, Emma filled her parents in on what happened with Rumpelstiltskin. Or Gold – an easier name to grapple with.

Outside the pawn shop, Emma placed hands on her hips and ignored the dread that took hold of her.

'Emma-' Snow said, as she and David caught up.

'No.' She frowned. 'I'm doing this.'

Emma pushed open the door and marched to the counter, crossing her arms tight. Confronting Gold rose her walls high. She lost control of her emotions and almost did punch him, if David hadn't grabbed her elbow - reminding Emma it wasn't a good idea.

Gold was amused, answering questions with his own; saying how Henry survived, the curse was broken, and she'd found her parents. Emma wasn't about to thank the man who risked her son's life.

'Twist my words all you want,' she said, glaring at him. 'You brought magic here, why?'

'Not telling,' he replied.

'But can we _use_ it?' Emma dared to ask. 'Is there a way back?'

'Quite eager, aren't you?' Gold smirked. 'Magic can do much, but crossing realms? That requires something with a bit more _kick._ Something you won't find in Storybrooke.'

He was never easy to read, but Emma saw it – the lie. She returned a smirk of her own.

'Emma, come on,' Snow urged.

'Don't believe anything he says,' David added.

The ground shook beneath them. Gold wanted revenge on Regina; Emma and her parents rushed outside to see what he'd done. The sky was darker than it should be and wind howled through the streets. Emma needed a plan to find Killian. No, she needed information.

Instead, she got another crisis to solve.

~ T ~

At the town hall, Emma paced a side room – energy high and frustration climbing further.

A wraith was after Regina, who had a plan to banish it. When chaos erupted throughout Storybrooke, the triplets found Emma and hadn't left since. Ava helped find brooms, as Snow intended to combat the wraith if necessary. Henry and Nicholas were with David and Regina, doing whatever else they could to prepare.

Emma was at breaking point; too much happened too fast.

Pressing her back to a marble wall, she released a shaky breath and closed her eyes. Head full of memories and heart constricted by their consequences, she clutched the compass in her jacket – until startled by an opening door.

'You okay?' David asked, kindness in his tone and gaze.

He was patient and hadn't pushed Emma to talk, yet kept a close eye on his daughter - ready to support or defend her at any moment. He was the one who'd placed her in the wardrobe, after battling guards and risking his life to get her to safety. Her mixed emotions muddled further.

'Yeah.' Emma nodded, hastily wiping her eyes.

She joined everyone in the main room, refusing to be alone with either parent in case it led to a meaningful conversation. David watched his daughter, worry evident in his eyes, but didn't push. Snow shot him a questioning look. He shook his head and Emma was grateful.

'It will open a portal to our land,' Regina said, placing Jefferson's hat on the floor. 'All we have to do is send the wraith in there.'

'A portal?' Emma's heart beat faster. 'You _just said_ our land was gone. Not that I believe you, but...'

'It is,' Regina insisted. 'But sending it to a place that no longer _exists_...Well, that's banishing it to oblivion.'

Lights flickered and doors rattled.

'Henry, you need to get somewhere safe.' Regina shot him a stern look.

'I'm not going anywhere,' he stubbornly replied, confident with his siblings to either side.

'We're going to help,' Ava added, gripping a broom. 'Even if you are the _Evil Queen_ and don't deserve it.'

'She's also my mum,' Henry said, earning a startled stare from Regina. 'I don't want her to die.'

Emma gave up trying to send the triplets away; they refused to listen and the wraith was outside. She was annoyed, but ensured each kid had a flaming broom to defend themselves with. There wasn't time to have someone drag them to a safer place.

'Regina?' Emma stared at the shaking doors.

'I'm trying,' she said, fussing with the hat. Regina spun it, but nothing happened.

A roar burst through the doors, spreading fear and urgency. Nicholas whimpered, backing from the railing. It'd be a miracle in itself if Emma survived the stress of fighting what can't be killed, yet while protecting her three kids.

She missed her partner-in-crime.

Snow and David jumped into action. He swung a flaming broom at the wraith while Snow created a protective barrier of fire along the railing. Emma hesitated, but was as impressed then as earlier when her parents showed leadership against the aftermath of a broken curse. They were the real heroes, not her.

'Come on!' Nicholas begged Regina, crouched by her side.

'I'm trying!' Regina snapped, desperation in her voice. 'It's not working.'

'What is the problem?' Emma asked, blindly yanking Ava's shirt to keep the girl from running into danger.

'Magic,' Regina answered. 'Magic is the problem.' She gripped the hat, closing eyes to concentrate.

'I can help.' Emma placed her hand on Regina's arm, channelling fierce determination to protect her family. If it could fling a cutlass into a crate...

The hat spun a purple haze and created a portal. David yelled as the wraith tossed him aside. Snow rushed to help him – Nicholas tried to follow, but tripped onto the floor.

The creature swooped over their fiery barrier and made a grab for Regina.

'Henry!' Ava shouted, roughly shoving her brother from the wraith's path.

The creature shrieked as it fell through the portal, hands clawing for anything to prevent its fall. Its attempt missed Ava, yet swayed her balance. Nicholas slid on his stomach and grabbed his sister's hand, but wasn't strong enough to hold on until the adults could help.

 _'No!'_ Emma screamed as Ava and Nicholas fell into the portal.

Without hesitation, she jumped after them through the spinning tunnel of magic. Snow yelled behind her, but everything vanished in an endless spiral. Emma resisted darkness closing in, but it was too strong and she passed out mid-fall.

She woke among debris in a place that wasn't Storybrooke.

'Emma!' Snow touched her face, checking her daughter.

'I'm okay,' she dismissed. Emma grabbed Ava and Nicholas' sleeves, pulling them close in shaking relief. Her heart pounded until she accepted they were okay.

She sympathised with Snow; it was a terrifying thing to watch a child vanish into a portal that could close at any second. Her mother did exactly what Emma had for the twins, so she shot the woman a teary-eyed smile.

Snow nodded, shoulders relaxing.

'You jumped in to save us? I'm so sorry.' Ava sobbed in Emma's arms. 'You're a great mother,' she said.

Nicholas clung to them both. Emma kept herself together, glancing at their company – who she learned were Aurora and Mulan. Snow explained what happened and how they didn't know the Enchanted Forest still existed. At confirmation of where they were, Emma paid keen attention to their surroundings. None of the grassy plains, choppy mountains, or waterside spaces were familiar.

It was a wasteland.

'Fine,' Mulan said, looking at the scared kids. 'We won't take you prisoner, but you must come with us.'

'What?' Aurora snapped. 'After what they did?'

'We just want to get home,' Snow said. 'What happened to Phillip was not our fault.'

'I won't harm children,' Mulan said, giving Aurora a firm stare. 'We'll bind their wrists as a precaution.'

'How is _that_ not taking us prisoner?' Emma stood, keeping the twins close.

'I'm scared,' Nicholas whispered.

'I know, kid.' She looped an arm round his shoulders. 'But I won't let them hurt you.' Emma shot the other women a threatening glare.

'Where will you take us?' Snow asked.

'A safe haven.' Mulan gathered rope. 'It's what's left of our home.'

* * *

Emma sat silent and contemplative. Staring intently at the ground, she listened to conversations behind her.

When they'd arrived at the safe haven, it was like stepping into a dream of an unlived memory. Ava stomped Aurora's foot when Snow tried to aide an escape – actions which temporarily landed the four visitors in a pit with Regina's mother. Accordingly to Snow, Cora was untrustworthy and a terrible person. Emma had bigger priorities.

'I'm not eating chimera!' Ava snapped at her brother, who kept passing food.

'It's too dangerous to voice our plans here,' Snow said to Mulan. 'Cora can't be trusted.'

Emma rushed to one of the wooden towers, ignoring protests as she climbed up. The man keeping watch wisely moved aside to give her space. The land, as far as could be seen, was both familiar and unknown. Ignoring Snow calling her, Emma pretended the view was one of Liam's navigational maps - recognising patches of toppled forests and a distant shoreline.

This was Ogre territory.

'You know the area well?' Emma asked the tower man.

'Uh, mostly.' He nodded. 'What're you looking for?'

'Trading ports.'

'That way.' He pointed East. 'What's left of them, at least. There's an island further South, but I heard pirates have claimed its waters.'

She wasn't afraid of pirates. Climbing part-way down, Emma jumped to the ground and carefully observed the safe haven. There were wooden huts, makeshift gardens, swords and armour, baskets hanging from roofs, and people in old-fashioned attire. Everything she remembered was there.

'Hey, kid,' she said to Ava, plucking a grape from a bowl. 'Chimera's not half bad. Eat something, okay? You'll need it.'

Ava crossed arms on the table, glaring at their food options.

'Emma?' Snow approached. 'You okay?'

'No, I'm not.' She frowned. 'We're wasting time here. We need to get moving.'

'Get moving, where?' Snow asked. 'I've _lived_ here, Emma. I know this world and its dangers. We can't rush into anything.'

'Indeed,' Lancelot said. 'The Enchanted Forest is not as you remember it. The Ogres have returned.'

'Yeah, we can handle Ogres,' Emma said, shuddering in memory of bloodshed she and Killian hid from as teens. 'I'm not staying here.'

'Okay.' Snow sighed. 'I'd have liked more time to _plan,_ but you're right – we need to get to find a portal. We need to get home. Lancelot, please let us go.'

'I'll allow it,' he said. 'But on one condition. Take my bravest warrior with you.' Lancelot indicated to Mulan.

'Uh, no offence, but no,' Emma said firmly, nudging Nicholas to leave the table and its food.

'Emma, we could use the help,' Snow insisted. 'This place-'

'Yeah, I know. _Ogres,_ got it.' She huffed. 'You're not the only one who's been here before. Honestly, I don't trust anyone here – much less with my kids.' Emma placed a hand on Ava's shoulder.

'You've been here before?' Snow gasped. 'You mean, _during_ the curse?'

'No. I don't know. Can we just leave?' she whined. 'We can defend ourselves. Just get me a sword and we're all set.'

 _'And_ you know how to use a sword?' Snow stared, crossing her arms in a motherly manner. 'What aren't you telling me?'

'A lot, sorry.' Emma winced, turning to Lancelot. 'I appreciate the offer, but I helped the royal Navy take out a Kraken when I was about sixteen. And I just killed a dragon last week. We'll be fine.'

'If you insist.' Lancelot disproved, but nodded.

'You'll need weapons.' Mulan led them to a chest. 'Choose wisely.'

'Can I have a sword?' Ava asked eagerly, her reaching hand stopped by Emma.

'Not until you know how to use one,' she said, grabbing the sword for herself. She unsheathed it, checking the blade and hilt. Satisfied, Emma attached it to her side.

Her weapon was in Storybrooke; she hadn't thought a gun would be necessary for pushing a wraith into a portal. She certainly hadn't intended to follow it. Snow got the bow, watching Emma suspiciously, and each kid grabbed a sort of rope slingshot - she didn't know how to use it but apparently the twins did. People were kind enough to give clothes when Emma insisted the twins change into something suited to long journeys in a magical land.

The family of four left the safe haven into a forest heading East.

Snow explained her plan to see if the wardrobe survived the curse and could be used to make a portal home. Emma had other intentions, but didn't voice them. The twins walked ahead, playing with their slingshots – trying to flick the other's ankles with rope. Seeing Ava and Nicholas in fairytale clothing tugged Emma's heart and fuelled her determined to find Killian.

'So...you've _been here before?'_ Snow kept pace beside her, eyebrows raised. 'Do you want to tell me about that?'

'Not really,' she admitted. 'I don't know how or when. I just know what happened.'

'And what did happen?'

Emma didn't answer. She glanced through treetop gaps at the darkening sky, hoping for a moon and stars. 'We should make camp. I'll get firewood.' She moved to walk away, halted by her mother's voiced realisation.

'You were _so eager_ to come here when the curse broke,' Snow said. 'You've been asking about ports and places of trade...You _helped_ the royal Navy? Emma, their father-'

Quickly hushing her, Emma checked Ava and Nicholas were busy with their game – not interested or close enough to overhear. As added precaution, she gave Snow a look to keep her voice down.

'I need to keep our family safe,' Emma said. 'If they think any of this brings them closer to their father, they'll put themselves in more danger trying to find him. I don't know where he is, I just know we were _here_ together. You sent me away from this land to save me, but I guess I was always meant to grow up here. Not that I did...just sometimes. I don't know. Can we talk about this later?'

'Mum?' Ava approached, stopping Snow's attempted reply. 'What are Ogres?'

'Like giants but nastier. They hunt by sound, so no yelling. Their eyesight's pretty bad, but it's also their physically-weakest spot.' Emma shrugged, lifting the compass from her jacket – passing it to her daughter. 'Hang onto this for me.'

'Why?' Ava asked, accepting it. 'It doesn't...Wait, it's _moving!'_

The needle spun rapidly – slowing when moonlight cast upon it, pointing East.

'Cool,' Nicholas said, reeling in his slingshot.

'What does it mean?' Ava stared intently at Emma.

'It's magic,' was the only explanation she gave them.

With instructions to gather firework and stay in plain sight, the twins wandered to help set up camp. Snow tried to read her daughter better, watching every movement and expression for clues. Emma stubbornly ignored the attention.

'No, Nick, you need something bigger.'

'I know what I'm doing, Ava.' Nicholas growled. 'We're not building a house.'

'Obviously.' The girl frowned, gathering branches.

'They're great kids.' Snow smiled. 'They remind me of your father sometimes. Stubborn but brave, like you.'

'God, I hope they're not like me,' Emma joked.

'Stop it!' Nicholas shoved his sticks to the ground. 'I can do it myself.'

'I'm just trying to help!' Ava snapped back.

With everything that's happened in a short amount of time, Emma wasn't surprised by their growing tension. Her eyes widened as a roar ruffled trees and brought with it the approach of heavy footsteps.

The twins screamed loudly and ran to their mother, who grimaced.

'Run!' Snow urged.

Emma grabbed both her kids by their hands, running among trees opposite the danger. Snow led the way, but Nicholas struggled to keep up – distracted with looking over his shoulder. Killian could outrun anyone, but Emma was out of practise with keeping up with him.

'Come on!' She pushed the kids ahead of her. 'Keep going. Nicholas, eyes ahead.'

Snow gestured the kids to her and they disappeared among bushes. Emma deliberately kept back, ensuring no one fell behind. She didn't pay attention and tripped into the grass, cheeks hot with embarrassment.

Footsteps thudded and branches snapped, parting way for a huge Ogre. Emma froze, turned to stare at it – memories flashing with that day in the village. She had a sword, but couldn't move. She'd seen first-hand how deadly Ogres were, how easily they tore limbs, and she didn't stand a chance without perfect aim. If lucky, she could stab one of its eyes. Emma had no confidence in her tactic, barely able to breathe at the sight of such a monstrous creature.

It came closer, its roar sweeping grass and her hair. Ears aching, Emma grimaced at the deathly smell. She withdrew her sword with a shaky hand, not about to die and leave her kids without a mother.

The Ogre hunched above and she readied to strike. A whistle ripped air behind it.

'Back away from my daughter!' Snow shouted.

Emma was stunned; her mother shot an arrow and killed the Ogre. Sheathing her sword, she anxiously stood. The twins hurried out of the forest to hug her.

'You okay?' Snow touched Emma's arm.

'I...No. I mean, I think so.' She pressed her cheek to Nicholas' head. 'When was the last time you shot an arrow?'

'Twenty-eight years ago,' Snow said. 'Guess it's like riding a bike.'

'Guess so.' Emma stared at the dead Ogre. 'Let's get out of here.' She nudged the twins, but Nicholas glued himself to her side.

Ava grabbed Snow's hand to walk with her.

'I hate it here.' Nicholas whimpered. 'What if there's more?'

'There's not. If there is, we'll take care of it.' Emma rubbed his back. 'I'm glad you both stayed back but you need to listen to us, okay? No yelling.'

'Sorry,' he muttered.

They walked until the twins were too tired to continue. The sky was dark and forest quiet so they set up camp. Emma poked the fire keeping them warm while Ava told Snow about Henry's book and Operation Cobra. She used a charred stick to draw a rough map in the dirt, staying quiet until her daughter exhausted conversation.

'There's _no way_ I'm going to sleep.' Ava shook her head.

'You need to rest.' Emma sighed, shifting to give Nicholas space on her other side. 'We've got a lot of walking tomorrow. We'll keep you safe, I promise.'

'Can you tell us something, to help us sleep?' Ava asked. 'Something about our father.'

By a log with their bag of supplies, Snow pretended to adjust firewood instead of eavesdropping. Emma inhaled a heavy breath, glancing at each child's pleading eyes. The blue of Nicholas' gaze bore into her.

'Okay.' She frowned, mentally cataloguing what she was willing to talk about. 'What do you want to know?'

'Did he ride horses?' Ava asked. 'Or fight with swords?'

'Oh yeah.' Emma nodded. 'He taught me both. We had fun together; your father was my best friend. Anyway, he took me riding once so we could have a picnic in the field where we met. I can't remember how old we were...'

She talked for a while, keeping details vague but honest. It was the most Emma had talked about Killian to anyone, even Corey. Ava and Nicholas fell asleep to stories of their father's adventures, comforted by his bravery and kindness.

Emma wiped a tear from her cheek, shyly looking to Snow.

'You love him, don't you?'

'I...' Emma blushed, panicking at the mere idea of loving someone. People she cared about had a tendency to leave. 'I don't know. He was just...He _got me_ , you know? He understood. Or I thought he did.'

'Is he here?' Snow asked kindly. 'Emma – please, trust me with this. I know you want to go home, but is it all you're thinking about? Do you want to find him first? If that's even possible.'

'Yeah. And it's possible,' she admitted, another tear escaping as she looked at Ava's hand.

The compass shone blue in moonlight, its needle hovering uncertainly between East and South. She chose to have hope because it was the only thing left. In their last night together, Killian explained how the compass worked. Its hue matched the enchanted rose he'd given her, revealing one thing Emma was certain of now: whatever bond they shared was still there.

He was alive.

'Okay.' Snow nodded. 'Then when we've secured a way home, we'll go find him.'

'I don't know.' Emma smiled sadly, tilting her head to admire the stars. 'Maybe, just this once... _He'll find me.'_

* * *

Review? And yes, I'm excited to confirm that next chapter includes the reunion you've all been waiting for.


	12. The Reunion

**Author's Notes:** It's finally here!

* * *

 **~ The Reunion ~**

Emma was glad there were no words for how difficult the place was for her to comprehend. They entered the broken castle where she'd have grown up, had the curse not been cast and she wasn't sent away. Despite darkened corridors and dusty spider webs, Ava and Nicholas were in awe.

Snow silently navigated ahead, grabbing a sword along the way, and wouldn't make eye contact with anyone. Reaching a door, she hesitated to push it open until they caught up.

'Oh, my God,' Emma whispered.

The nursery was huge. There were pillars, intricate designs, and more belongings in that one room than she'd had her entire life. She could imagine spending many nights on the balcony, overlooking land and kingdom. She could even see the water from there. Emma was drawn to the wardrobe, recognising it from Henry's book. As she touched its smooth surface, there was a bite of something in the air around it.

Magic?

'Wow!' Nicholas ran onto the balcony to admire their view.

Ava peered at shelves of books, squinting at titles dulled by moonlight and dust.

Realisation dawned on Emma as she stood with Nicholas.

'I never thought I'd see this place again,' Snow said, dusting a teddy bear. 'This room. It was your nursery.'

'You got to live in a _castle?'_ Nicholas stared incredulously at Emma.

'She never got to spend the night.' Snow turned, taking in the entire room. 'This is the life I wanted you to have.'

Emma was quiet as her mother listed moments they'd have shared – her first steps, first words...Dressing for her first ball. Guilt stabbing her chest, Emma considered the ball she and Killian attended together. They were uninvited outsiders, but in reality it was part of the life Emma would've led. And yet, she considered herself no less a fraud in that setting.

'And you never got to do any of it.' Snow sighed. 'We never got to be a family.'

'We missed stuff too, with our mum. And with Henry...We're missing stuff with our father right now,' Ava said quietly, reaching to hold Snow's hand. 'But we're still a _family,_ Grandma.'

Snow nodded, smiling tearfully.

Emma distracted herself with the wardrobe and trying to get it to work. Ava believed their situations were the same, but Emma never made a nursery. She hadn't had a home to raise her kids in, or stuffed toys, or a balcony...Not a single thing. Her parents had a choice, she hadn't – not with three babies.

She'd missed a lot for herself, but realising how different things might have been for her kids was beyond that pain. In the early days of discovering her pregnancy, Emma dreamed of Killian coming to rescue her so they could be a family together. Now she hoped never to see him again – to never reveal she'd given their babies away.

She couldn't imagine any version where he'd forgiver her.

'Where's the on switch?' Emma asked, peering cautiously into the wardrobe. It was weird that she'd ever been small enough to fit inside it.

They had to get the wardrobe back to the safe haven, hoping someone there had access to magic for it to work. Emma crossed her arms and bit her lip, resisting a topic she wasn't confident enough to discuss.

'How?' Ava brushed a hand across the wood. 'It looks heavy.'

'Yeah, _how_ are we gonna carry this thing?' Emma asked.

'With the help of an old friend,' Lancelot said, entering the nursery.

Nicholas ran to Emma's side. Ava reached to her slingshot, just in case.

'I'm sorry,' he said. 'I couldn't help following, in case you ran into trouble.'

'You weren't there when the Ogre attacked,' Emma muttered, eyeing him suspiciously.

'I heard about that.' Lancelot nodded. 'I had to make sure you were all right.'

'I don't trust him,' Ava hissed.

Neither did Emma. The more interest he showed in the wardrobe, the less comfortable she was with his company. Snow figured it out first, unsheathing her new sword to aim at Lancelot – who became Cora.

Emma grabbed Ava's arm, placing the fiesty girl behind her with Nicholas. The boy clutched his slingshot. They glared at Cora when she revealed she'd killed Lancelot a long time ago and took his place so people would listen to her.

'And, besides, every kingdom needs a hero, don't you think?' Cora narrowed eyes at Snow.

Snow lunged, met with purple magic that hovered her to a wall. She was pinned there and struggled to get free. Ava searched for a better weapon, while Emma drew her sword.

'Let her go,' she threatened Cora, keeping Ava back.

'Oh my.' Cora laughed. 'You can't _hurt_ me.'

'Watch me.' Emma jabbed her weapon, but was flung aside with magic. Her shoulder smacked the wardrobe, and Ava ran to help her.

Nicholas retrieved the fallen sword, struggling to hold its weight. Emma gestured for Ava to stop her brother, relieved when she listened.

Ava and Nicholas grunted, magically shoved into a huge stuffed bear. Time was precious, but there was one way to protect Henry and anyone else Cora could hurt if she got to Storybrooke.

When Cora focused on Snow, Emma crouched by the wardrobe. She raised hands, eyes closed to concentrate on her need to protect those she loved. She'd tried to avoid thoughts of magic since the curse broke, but there was no better time to see if Killian was right.

'Please work,' Emma whispered.

Flames shot from her hands, filling the wardrobe and engulfing it. She dove aside, protective instincts flaring as she shielded her kids.

 _'No!'_ Cora yelled in fury. The flames ignored her attempted magic. 'What have you done?'

'You're not going to Storybrooke,' Emma said. 'You're not getting anywhere _near_ Henry.'

Cora glared at Emma, hand raised to attack, but paused at a sound in the corridor outside. She growled and vanished in thick smoke. Snow fell to her knees and Ava rushed to help. Nicholas moved around Emma, watching the wardrobe burn.

Emma wanted to apologise, but she couldn't. She put Henry first. Caring for the twins taught that being a mother was more important than anything. Giving them up for their best chance was a different kind of sacrifice.

Snow smiled sadly with understanding.

'It's okay,' Snow said. 'We'll find another way.'

'I know.' Emma sighed, staring at the dusty floor. She placed an arm round Nicholas, drawing him close. 'It's just...I was _angry_ at you for so long, wondering how you could choose to let me grow up without you. But I get it, seeing all this.' She glanced around the nursery, rubbing her bruised shoulder.

'Did we have a room?' Ava asked.

'No.' Emma fought tears and shame. 'No, we never got a chance. I had _nothing._ Your father wasn't...'

It was too much. Snow pulled Emma into an embrace, assuring her it was okay and they were together now – that's what matters. Emma cried and hugged her mother tight, though they opened arms to invite the twins in too.

A family was torn apart in that room, but they were still a family.

* * *

It'd been three days since the curse was broken and Emma was just as overwhelmed, but also increasingly comfortable in the Enchanted Forest.

Shortly after leaving the broken castle, Mulan and Aurora caught up to them - suspicious of Lancelot suddenly leaving then Cora disappearing from the pit. Snow explained what happened and they returned to the safe haven.

'I think I'll try chimera,' Ava said beside Mulan. 'I've never had snake or goat before though.'

'You're forgetting _lion,'_ Nicholas added, playing with his slingshot. 'I reckon-'

'Wait.' Mulan halted. 'Stay back.'

'What's going on?' Emma rushed ahead, nudging the kids.

'The tower.' Mulan drew her sword. 'We always have sentries guarding the entrance. Stay close.'

What waited for them was a gruesome yet familiar sight to Emma. There was less blood, but as many bodies and destruction as then.

Everyone was dead.

'Are...Are they...' Nicholas sunk to his knees.

'Ogres?' Ava shuddered, turning to hide in Snow's embrace.

'It wasn't Ogres,' Emma said, staring at bloodied holes in victims' chests. 'Believe me, I know what that looks like. _This_ was something else.'

'Cora.' Snow frowned. 'We have to stop her-'

'Look!' Nicholas tore forward, running as fast as he could.

'There's someone under there,' Aurora said.

Everyone but Emma helped move the dead, revealing a man underneath.

'Please help me,' he said.

'You're okay,' Ava crouched kindly beside him. 'You're alive. She's gone now.'

He nodded thankfully, then glanced to Emma. His gaze met hers and they both froze with recognition. An entire world of raw emotions crashed upon Emma, who stared at Killian in such disbelief it turned to dizziness.

Oblivious to the significance, only concerned he might be hurt, Mulan instructed everyone gather water and check supplies for herbs.

'Go...' Emma swallowed shakily, unable to tear her gaze from Killian's blue eyes. 'Uh, go help.' She nudged the twins.

'But-' Ava protested.

 _'Now,'_ she insisted, emotions bubbling up her throat. Emma fixed Killian with a stern look and subtle shake of her head.

He discreetly nodded and ducked his gaze, staying quiet.

Snow returned with water, and Aurora led him to a table to sit down. He played the victim, a sole survivor with a story she doubted, and Emma's relief to their reunion was tainted with suspicion.

Killian was wrapped in some sort of tunic but he wasn't in uniform. His hair was shorter and eyes darker, features sharp and handsome yet grown. He was a man now, but what sort of man had he become?

'Are you okay?' Aurora watched Emma. 'You look like you're going to faint.'

'Yeah.' She inhaled a thick breath. 'Just...Dead bodies. Not nice.' She turned forcefully, walking to press a hand to a tower post and keep herself steady. There was no bathroom to hide in this time.

He was right there and everything about it was wrong; Ava and Nicholas weren't supposed to find out this way. She and Killian were meant to be alone to talk and figure things out before...

'Do you know him?' Snow asked Mulan. 'Have you seen him here before?'

Emma wasn't prepared for this – for him. Her heart pounded and head ached, yet somehow she'd hadn't fallen apart. She sucked in another breath, composing herself the best she could. Though attentive, Killian kept his head bowed.

'Yes, I've seen him around,' Mulan said. 'He's a blacksmith – came to our camp a couple of months ago. Said he lost his hand in an Ogre attack.'

'Lost his hand?' Emma turned sharply.

Her heart ached as once-buried feelings rushed back. Seeing Killian brought unfair truth that she'd never stopped caring, even after all those years apart and thinking he'd abandoned her. The pain of his absence, and of having to give their babies away because of it, helped lock emotions deep inside – but it couldn't destroy them.

Somewhere during their time together, she'd reached a point of no return.

Snow and Mulan discussed why Cora would leave a survivor, while the kids helped Aurora build a fire and set up preparations for a meal. Emma tried to act normal, but tensely watched Ava approach Killian – both unaware they're related. Revealing the truth was a horrifying idea Emma wasn't ready for. She couldn't bare have Killian hate her when he realised what she'd done, not now she'd seen him again.

'Do you need more water?' Ava asked, offering a cup despite the one in front of him.

He nodded, taking in the girl's appearance – did he suspect? Killian glanced at Emma, then averted eyes to the table.

Her mind rushed with ways to handle the situation, hurrying forward when Mulan approached him.

'I cannot thank you enough for your kindness,' he said. 'Fortune, it seems, has seen fit to show me favour.' Killian's gaze lingered on Emma.

His guarded reluctance to be read was no match for Emma's ability to read him. Each answer he gave Mulan filled Emma with dread. Cora tricked them once and they won't let it happen again. Killian lied and it wasn't the worst part; Emma wanted to believe him despite everything. He said he'd hid under the bodies when Cora attacked, and she remembered them tucked behind a cart of apples in the aftermath of an Ogre's rampage.

She didn't need her superpower, having been beside for the excuses they'd made to get out of trouble or into it.

A clay pot shattered. Everyone turned to Nicholas, who winced and apologised – bending in failed attempt to put pieces back together. He blushed, scratching behind his ear, and glanced worriedly with blue eyes. Killian stared at the boy while Emma struggled not to panic.

Nicholas wandered around the bodies, face pale but determined. He nudged people with his boot, crouching to peer close at each one.

Concerned, Emma gestured her son over. 'What were you trying to do?' she asked, shifting dark hair from his face. His resemblance to Killian was so obvious that it seemed impossible to keep it secret.

'I...' Nicholas hesitated, meeting her encouraging look. 'I wanted to make sure no one else was stuck and needed help.'

'Brave lad,' Killian whispered.

'We should leave here in case Cora comes back,' Mulan said.

'We should start searching for a new portal back-'

'Hold on,' Emma interrupted Snow. 'I think we should wait. Cora already tried to steal the wardrobe. That was a pretty close call. We need a plan – a better one.'

 _'Now_ we need a plan first?' Snow asked. 'Do you have something in mind?'

'Not yet,' she lied.

Killian narrowed eyes. Emma had to be careful; he could read her too.

'Well...' He flashed them a fake smile. 'I know this land well. I can guide you-'

'No!' Emma snapped, wincing as everyone stared at her. 'You're not guiding us anywhere.'

'Is he lying?' Ava asked, though it was Nicholas who nodded.

'I also believe he isn't who he says he is.' Mulan frowned. 'We can't trust him.'

'I...' Emma hesitated, avoiding Snow's suspicious gaze. 'I want to talk to him, alone.'

'Why?' Mulan asked. 'Do _you_ know him?'

'Can you just trust me?' She irritability clenched fists to force calm. 'I'm pretty good at knowing when someone's lying. I can't explain, but I think he'll talk to me.'

'Okay.' Snow exhaled.

'But-' Ava argued, then huffed and followed her brother.

Emma waited until everyone was far enough away that they couldn't eavesdrop. She slowly faced Killian, allowing their eyes to meet, and a small fraction of their walls fell away. It was just them and no amount of time or emotion prevented that from feeling right. Together they could belong anywhere.

 _'Emma,'_ Killian breathed disbelief, her name leaving his lips in threat to undo every layer of her composure. 'How are you alive? It's been many years since...Yet you appear to have aged very little.'

'No, you don't get to _ask_ questions,' Emma hissed, eyes stinging with restrained tears.

With a shaky exhale, she sat across from him – her heart raced and drummed painfully in her chest. She leaned closer, itching to make contact, but instead placed her hand beside his on the table.

'We don't have long to talk,' she said quietly. 'If I _ever_ meant anything to you, tell me the truth. What happened?'

'You're asking _me?'_ He growled.

Emma scrubbed her other hand down her face. 'I can't...' She was totally unprepared and could only take so much.

Hair spilled over shoulders as Emma bowed her head, tears welling to break her. Everything caught up and was too heavy for her to carry on her own, but that was her life. Killian was the rare exception until now – sitting across from him, yet no longer united and supportive, was the final straw.

Emma startled when his hand made gentle contact with hers.

'How long has it been for you?' Killian eyed the kids, suspicion in his voice.

Ava climbed a sentry tower to look around. Nicholas sat on a fallen log by a hut. He sipped water and watched his parents, averting his equally-blue gaze when Killian made eye contact. There was something unsettling in her son's expression but Emma won't reveal parentage yet. It wouldn't be fair to Henry, who was waiting back in Storybrooke.

'Mum!' Ava called down from the tower. 'I can see the water from here. Can we use a ship to get home?'

'It doesn't work that way without a portal!' Emma replied. She then fixed Killian with a stern look. 'A lot has changed, I know. But I need the truth. You only get once chance here, Killian. I want-'

'This is getting us nowhere,' Mulan interrupted. 'He's probably working with Cora.'

Emma reluctantly slipped her hand from Killian's. 'What do you suggest?' she asked, leaning further back to cross arms tightly over her chest as an emotional shield.

Killian was outnumbered. Emma didn't make a move to help either as Mulan tied him to a huge tree. She had to accept that Killian may not be the man she'd known and cared for.

'I already told you,' Killian insisted to Mulan. 'I'm just a blacksmith.'

'What if he's telling the truth?' Aurora doubted, as Snow kept the kids back.

'He's not,' Emma said.

Not speaking to her didn't use his chance but did waste her patience. She raised a blade to him, face furious but eyes trying to convey that she didn't want to do this.

He stared at her, unreadable but glanced warily at her weapon.

'You won't kill him, right?' Ava trembled.

'No.' Emma turned quickly, promising. 'Of course not.'

'That is yet to be decided,' Mulan said. 'He could be working for Cora. If he is, he puts everyone in danger.'

'Killing is _not_ the way.' Snow frowned.

'I know.' Mulan nodded. 'But I will do what must be done to save what's left of my people.'

A growl rumbled in the distance, sending shivers through Emma. She tucked the blade away, matching Killian's wide-eyes as he stared to the trees. They knew the sound of an Ogre better than most.

'Nicholas!' Snow gasped.

The boy ran to Emma, grabbing her shirt. He whined, eyes pleading and scared.

'Hey, kid, it's okay.' She rested a comforting hand on his shoulder. 'Use your words.'

'Mum... _Please_ don't let him die,' Nicholas said, blue eyes flooded with tears. 'We saved him. Ogres are the worst and no one deserves that. He's not bad, I _know_ it.'

'You should listen to your boy,' Killian said tensely, fidgeting against the rope. 'I'd rather not be ripped limb from limb. I'm already down one hand.'

'Then you better start talking,' Emma said. She bit her lip, pushing Nicholas back. She had to make a choice. 'The truth will set you free. Are you willing to take the chance?'

Emma refused to break eye contact. Leaves shook with continued growls and deadly approach. Killian squeezed his eyes shut, turning his head from her in frustration.

'Who are you?' Emma asked for the benefit of those behind her, re-earning his attention.

He searched her gaze intently as she kept their shared history a secret.

'Killian Jones,' he answered. 'But most people have taken to calling me by my more colourful moniker – Hook.'

'As in, Captain Hook?' Emma stared.

'You've heard of me then?' Killian frowned bitterly.

'Oh.' Nicholas stepped back to Snow. 'That makes you a bad guy.'

Distrust grew among the group, but Emma saw Killian's deep shame. He struggled to look in her direction, anger raging in his blue eyes like a stormy ocean. He risked a lot to be honest, yet there was betrayal and grief – what happened in those years apart? How did a respectable Navy Lieutenant become a pirate?

And more importantly, where was Liam?

'How's this for a chance?' he asked her. 'Cora wanted me to gain your trust, so I could learn everything there is to know about your _Storybrooke._ She didn't want any surprises when she finally got over there. She gathered the ashes from the wardrobe, as the enchantment remains, and intends to use them to open up a portal.'

He tried to pull his wrist free from the rope. Growls and thrashes continued beyond trees, growing louder and closer. Ava and Nicholas hugged Snow, terrified. They had time, but it was running on short supply.

'We should leave him here to die.' Mulan gripped her sword. 'To pay for all the lives that he took.'

Killian looked at Emma, silently pleading her to believe him.

She couldn't stand it any longer. 'Cora killed those people, not him,' she said.

Emma quickly cut him free with her blade. She resisted pointing it at him, unsure if Killian was still affected by Fishy Fred and many others – those who threatened his life with a blade when he was unable to defend himself. She wouldn't become one of them, no matter how scared she was.

'Anything else?' she asked. Her eyes glared a warning.

'We both want the same thing,' he answered. 'The ashes aren't enough. To find your land, Cora needs more. She seeks an enchanted compass - if you promise to bring me along to your land, I'll help you obtain it before she does.'

'Sounds too good to be true,' Snow said, shaking her head.

'Cora was merely a means to an end.' Killian watched Emma, ignoring the others. 'I have plenty of unfinished business.'

'So do I.' She winced as another roar rustled the trees. 'Just tell me one thing...'

'Only one, darling?' he teased, sarcasm thick.

'Why do you want to go to Storybrooke?'

'To exact revenge on the man who took my hand.' He stared intently, without hesitating, and she believed every word. 'Rumpelstiltskin.'

Shared anger flashed in Emma's eyes, intriguing Killian further.

They were out of time. She grabbed Ava and Nicholas' hands as the Ogre thrashed its approach. The group fled opposite it, deeper into the forest, where Mulan gave directions and ran ahead.

Emma skid to a stop when Nicholas tripped. He fell roughly onto the grass, grimacing with pain and shock.

'Ava, go!' she commanded.

The girl gasped and ran.

Killian stayed, watching Emma crouch with Nicholas. The boy was beyond terrified, hugging his knees and crying. She looked towards danger and prayed for a miracle.

'You're okay.' She placed a hand on her son's head. She'd carry him if she had to, but it didn't guarantee an escape. 'You gotta get up, kid. I know you're scared, but you can do this.'

'I _can't.'_ Nicholas shuddered, shaking his head. 'I'm not brave enough.'

'You can be.' Emma brushed dark hair aside, cupping his face to make him look at her. 'Your father was a hero, but he got scared too. Remember when I told you how we got really lost one night?'

Nicholas nodded.

'This is like that,' Emma said, briefly sharing a glance with Killian. He anxiously stood by them, concern aimed at Nicholas as she spoke. 'Just...look deep inside for that brave part. It's there, I promise, you've just got to find it.'

Nicholas slowly stood, head darting to face the approaching roars. Emma took his hand and nodded. They ran with Killian, ducking under low branches with more ease than they'd done as children. They caught up with the others and kept going, never slowing or stopping until safe.

Nicholas and Ava collapsed onto the grass of a clearing, puffing in struggle to catch their breath.

Mulan scouted the area while Snow passed around water. The forest was quiet and somehow that was worst.

Fidgeting nervously, Ava carefully approached Killian. 'So...' She glanced him over. 'You're Captain Hook, huh?'

'Aye.' He nodded, giving Snow a smirk as she reluctantly offered him water too. 'And who might you be, lass?'

'Don't answer him,' Snow told Ava, shooting Killian a warning look.

'Okay, but what's so special about the compass Cora wants?' Ava asked instead. 'Why can't we use ours?'

Emma checked Nicholas over – he'd taken quite a fall earlier. She tensed, realising what her daughter meant. She rushed to snatch the compass, but Ava hugged it to herself in reflex.

'Where did you get that?' Killian growled, staring at the precious object that once belonged to his mother.

The needle pointed directly at him.

'Me. They got it from me,' Emma cut in, taking it from Ava. 'So they can always find their way home.'

Told to go sit with her brother, Ava stared wide-eyed at Killian then the compass he'd reacted so strongly to. She rushed to Nicholas, wanting to be as far from Captain Hook as possible.

'Is that so?' Killian moved closer, gaze burning into Emma's. 'And what of your home, love? Does the compass lead you there too?'

'No,' she said quietly, fidgeting under his stare. Emotions threatened to spill with their proximity, but they weren't granted any amount of privacy by the others.

It hit her that he was actually standing there; she could hug him, kiss him, or punch him. Killian was no longer a memory. Questions about Liam's whereabouts were pushed further back, now convinced she wouldn't like the answer. Emma glanced where his hook would go - it hurt to see his hand missing.

He noticed and immediately tried to move away, face red and ashamed.

'The compass doesn't lead me anywhere.' She grasped his forearm, stopping him. 'I don't have a home, but what I've been searching for all these years...I think it's right here.'

It was the most honestly she'd allow him for now, in return for the honestly he'd shared with her. Everything between them used to be equal and open – she'd forgotten how much but refused to break it even now.

Killian watched her, then swallowed and turned away. He slipped from reach and she let him.

'We should keep going,' he told the others.

'Lead the way,' Mulan said.

Emma blinked tears, moving to focus on their kids. She was angry at herself for reconsidering ever telling him and the triplets the truth about each other. She couldn't pretend nothing changed because of course everything changed. They weren't seventeen anymore.

'I'm sick of walking,' Nicholas complained. 'And I'm hungry.'

'Not much further, lad. Up ahead,' Killian said. He kept distance from everyone but Mulan, who refused to let him out of sight or sword reach. 'We'll find the compass just over the ridge.'

'Do you get the feeling he's leading us exactly where Cora wants us?' Snow asked. 'That this whole thing's a trap?'

'No,' Emma admitted, tucking her compass into a pocket. 'I believe Ki...Hook. I believe he's telling the truth.'

'How can you be sure?' Snow asked. 'Is it because you've met before?'

Emma slowed, casting her mother a wide-eyed look. 'Uh...' She stuttered.

'I thought so.' Snow nodded.

Aware of keen ears, Emma made an excuse about scouting ahead and rushed to stand with Killian on the ridge. He glanced sideways at her, then sighed. She groaned, staring and the beanstalk as she knew exactly what it meant.

'Oh, yeah.' Killian nodded. 'We've quite the climb. But it's not what you need to worry about. It's the giant at the top.'

'Like Jack and the Beanstalk?' Nicholas joined them, mouth gaping at the tall stalk. 'Wow! That's my favourite story. Can I come, please?'

'If only it were that simple.' Killian glanced at Emma, cheeky smile forming. 'Just like old times, love?'

 _'Do_ you know him or not?' Mulan accused Emma.

'I've been here before, remember?' she dismissed. 'We may have crossed paths.'

'Aye,' Killian said. 'The compass awaits. Shall we?'

* * *

 _Review? I'd love to know what you thought of the chapter and their reunion._

 _Also, the link to the new version of this story's video can be found in my profile._


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